I want to press the button (son, 3 year old, tantrum, husband)
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No- when you have kids, you pick and choose your battles. If having to wait an extra min for an elevator so child can push an elevator button will save you the next 5-30mins of a tantrum, I am all for it. Matter of fact have been in the exact same position with my 3yr old.
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Originally Posted by NEOhioBound
Know someone with a 2-4yr old? Borrow them for 24 hours and you will see why..lol
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Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Many people who don't have kids yet themselves often think they know what they will and won't do when they have them
Here's what you'll really do if you are a smart parent - you'll pick and choose your battles and realize that kids are not little robots you can always program to act exactly as you'd like.
A parents job is not to control their child constantly, but rather to teach and nurture with love and a good sense of humor.
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Originally Posted by NCN
This lady was a very understanding and loving caretaker and will end up with a child who knows she is loved. She will probably end up being just as loving and understanding as the person who waited for another elevator in order to let her push the button.
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Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Our OP did not say the little girl had a tantrum.
I don't think ANY experienced parent here would agree with rewarding a tantrum. <snipped>
I wasn't responding to the OP. I was responding to the people on this board that think that "humoring" a child just because they "might" have a 5-30 min tantrum is acceptable. Actually it is fine SOMETIMES. But I think if you make it a practice they will expect it THEN you will get a tantrum when you can't humor them. Controlling them isn't the point either. I have expectations for my child's behavior. they both know what I expect. If I do it every time, she responds correctly every time. If sometimes I do this and sometimes I do that...she doesn't know what to do. AND it doesn't have anything to do with being loving and understanding. There are times children need extra understanding, patience, guidance, and love. In public to prevent a tantrum is not one of those times. That is called "Giving In" and isn't acceptable to me or my husband. At home I pick battles and give choices, in public I don't. There is a major difference.
So I went on a weekend trip with my parents this weekend. And at one point DM (Darling Mother) and I where waiting for the elevator. We hear a mother and a daughter (3 years old maybe) coming and the girl saying "I want to press the button". Now we had already pressed the button since we had been there a minute. When we got there she was mad. And her mother said "Now hunny sometimes other people have to press the button." and when the elevator came she said "would you like to wait for the next one so you can press the button" and they did! Now, I know my DM would of never put up with that. She said so after this happened. I thin this was absolutely ridiculous. Are we the only ones who this it's absurd that they had to wait for another elevator?
The mother did this to avoid a major tantrum that she was sure the 3 year old was going to throw. I guess it was a case of the mom picking her battles. I think it was stupid. She should have just told the kid to suck it up and get on the elevator. In either case it's no big deal. It's not like the kid yelled at you for pressing the button. The situation had no effect on you whatsoever. If the mom wanted to wait for another elevator that's HER choice.
Last edited by KylieEve; 09-27-2010 at 05:48 AM..
Reason: .
Many people who don't have kids yet themselves often think they know what they will and won't do when they have them
Here's what you'll really do if you are a smart parent - you'll pick and choose your battles and realize that kids are not little robots you can always program to act exactly as you'd like.
A parents job is not to control their child constantly, but rather to teach and nurture with love and a good sense of humor.
Agree 100%. With all due respect those who don't have kids and give advice/make comments on threads like this think they have all the answers. What you think in theory is a lot different than how you will think once you actually have your own kids. Trust me.
Pushing the button was always a monumental "look mommy I'm doing a grownup thing!" experience. My mom told us that if we pressed the button just once, after someone else already pressed it, the elevator would come quicker. So we got to press it.
My kids loved pressing the elevator button. My youngest at 7 still loves riding escalators, too. We go on "joy rides" every time we hit the mall. It's no big deal as long as those around us aren't inconvenienced. Children are only young once, it won't hurt to have a little fun with them.
If they had the time to wait, big deal. If they didn't have the time to wait I am sure the mom would have said something. I have done that with my kids when they were little. We even took elevators when we didn't need to just so they could push the buttons. Again, what is the big deal. My kids are all teenagers now and are very responsible, respectful kids. Letting them wait for another elevator did no permanent damage.
I wasn't responding to the OP. I was responding to the people on this board that think that "humoring" a child just because they "might" have a 5-30 min tantrum is acceptable. Actually it is fine SOMETIMES. But I think if you make it a practice they will expect it THEN you will get a tantrum when you can't humor them. Controlling them isn't the point either. I have expectations for my child's behavior. they both know what I expect. If I do it every time, she responds correctly every time. If sometimes I do this and sometimes I do that...she doesn't know what to do. AND it doesn't have anything to do with being loving and understanding. There are times children need extra understanding, patience, guidance, and love. In public to prevent a tantrum is not one of those times. That is called "Giving In" and isn't acceptable to me or my husband. At home I pick battles and give choices, in public I don't. There is a major difference.
Ah, so you have no consistency. I bet you are a real joy to be around. Letting your child, especially a 3 yr old, get a little joy in their life such as from pushing an elevator button isn't giving into them. Some parents need to get off their high horses in this place, seriously......What works for one child and one family doesn't necessarily work for others. If you aren't willing to give YOUR child one little unimportant thing to you that is a big deal to them, that is YOUR business. If it "sn't acceptable to me or my husband" then do whatever you need to do for YOU two, but don't tell others that they should take joy away from their kids or lord forbid to a simple task to prevent a meltdown that they obviously have more patient for than yourself
So I went on a weekend trip with my parents this weekend. And at one point DM (Darling Mother) and I where waiting for the elevator. We hear a mother and a daughter (3 years old maybe) coming and the girl saying "I want to press the button". Now we had already pressed the button since we had been there a minute. When we got there she was mad. And her mother said "Now hunny sometimes other people have to press the button." and when the elevator came she said "would you like to wait for the next one so you can press the button" and they did! Now, I know my DM would of never put up with that. She said so after this happened. I thin this was absolutely ridiculous. Are we the only ones who this it's absurd that they had to wait for another elevator?
Not sure why this would bother you? It didn't interfere with your use of the elevator and the mom didn't mind waiting as it was her suggestion.
I'm not sure why, but young kids get great joy out of pressing those elevator buttons! As a parent, nothing brings us greater joy than watching the little things that bring such happiness to our kids.
Now, if they had gotten on the elevator on say the 10th floor and the little girls pressed buttons 1 thru 9 and you are going to the 1st floor yourself I would understand your need to gripe.
I never said it bothered me. Although I did think it's ridiculous. I was with my mom who actually brought it up. She said "I would of said, tough cookies. And we would of gotten in the elevator". My sister and I didn't throw tantrums over things like that. I feel like this girl is going to grow up to be my friend, who STILL gets made and p*ssy when she can't press the button.
Wow, I'm so so sorry. Obviously your weekend really sucked if THIS is what your still thinking about come monday morning.
If you were coming on here as this woman's boss and saying "Jane is always late for work because she will wait for the next elevator if her kid doesn't get to press the button the first time" or as a passenger on a flight that was delayed due to "some woman holding up a the entire flight so her kid could press an elevator button before they boarded!" I could get your annoyance but this didn't effect you at all so who cares?
Most parents have a pretty good grasp on their schedules and where they need to be if this mom felt she had the extra three minutes to wait for the next elevator and let her little girl do something she loves then what is the big deal???
It's not about being a pushover who allows things just to avoid a tantrum either it's about taking a minute to slow down and enjoy the little things in life and allowing our children to enjoy them as well. If some one has the time to indulge their child in a free activity that doesn't delay anyone else at all why do you care?
Before you have children PLEASE work on your time mangement skills so that you too can indulge your children in stupid things like pressing the elevator button.
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