What's going on with my son? (punish, average, support, parent)

[Remisc]

I am a proud parent of 6 children - 4 of which live at home with me and my wife. The 4 are all boys.
My two youngest are 11 year old twins.

The problem lays in one of those twins. We're currently in the the process of moving and changing schools, and I don't think Trevor is taking it lightly.

He used to be generally behaved at school, and at home. While he still is very well behaved at home, he's becoming a 'problem child' at school.

This morning, my wife got a phone call from his teacher, and she said he hit another student with a handheld whiteboard. This is the latest in a long line of phone calls and lunch detentions.

From what I've heard, he's becoming increasing defiant in his classroom. He's been smarting off to his teacher, doesn't take notes, etc. What really bothers me, is he doesn't turn in work that I helped him work on the previous day, and watched him put it in his backpack. He has the work in his locker - he just doesn't want to turn it in.

His average grade has dropped from a B, last school year, to a D+. This is unacceptable for me. My other three boys have improved in school, while he continues to slump. My oldest that still lives with me has a 3.5 GPA, and my 2 children that moved out had grades high enough to be accepted into Wayne State University - so it's not like poor grades are something common in my household.

My guess is, he doesn't think it matters what happens at that school anymore, because we're moving in a matter of weeks. But, what do you think, CityData community?

[Marlow]

Have you asked him what's going on?

[Remisc]

Originally Posted by Marlow

Have you asked him what's going on?

I did. When the issue is brought up, he becomes silent and non-responsive until the topic's changed.

[Kibbiekat]

do you punish him at home for breaking the rules at school? There have to be consequences.

[Remisc]

Originally Posted by rkb0305

do you punish him at home for breaking the rules at school? There have to be consequences.

Oh, there are. But, when he goes back to school the next day, there's no improvement. This just started a few days ago, though, so we'll see what happens.

[Hopes]

He might be having trouble with the organizational responsibilities that progress with each grade.

Turning in homework requires organization----remembering to get it from point A to B.

Taking notes requires organization too----not knowing how to organize notes.

His defiant attitude could be the result of his frustration.

Although all of your children have always gotten great grades, that doesn't mean you couldn't have one child with a learning disability. Learning disability doesn't mean he's not smart either. A child needs to have a fairly high IQ to qualify for support services. Many people don't understand that. They'll say, "My child can't have a learning disability. He's very intelligent." That's exactly it too. If a child isn't performing at his/her potential, the child could have a learning disability.

I recommend waiting until he transfers schools. (That's very soon, right?) If it continues at the new school, write a letter to the principal asking for an evaluation for a learning disability.

[Hopes]

Originally Posted by Remisc

Oh, there are. But, when he goes back to school the next day, there's no improvement. This just started a few days ago, though, so we'll see what happens.

Oh, if it just started a few days ago, it's probably something else---worrying about changing schools, some girl he likes hurt his feelings, etc.

[Remisc]

Originally Posted by Hopes

Oh, if it just started a few days ago, it's probably something else---worrying about changing schools, some girl he likes hurt his feelings, etc.

Hmmm...possibly.

Thank you for the help, in both of your posts, Hopes!

And, yes, they are changing schools very soon. Within 2 weeks, most likely.

[Hopes]

Is he close with this twin brother? Ask him. He might know what's bothering his brother.

[jb03]

Does he have any comments to make on the move? You say you don't think he's taking it lightly, but does he have anything to say about it?