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That's great. I'm proud of you for doing that. How did your MIL react?Did she look at you like this
no she took him, held him for a while and then handed him to her husband. Did I mention they had four girls and desperately wanted a boy? Well every time I hold him they look like they want to vomit. Its hard knowing they want me out of the picture. For example, when I held him everyone stayed away, but as soon as the MIL gave him to my FIL everyone came around and started touching him and talking to him. Its sad...on their part. Me? I just smiled and acted as friendly as I could
If your wife didn't want to stay either then why were you pulling her in opposite directions? She made her own decision and all you had to do was respect it. No drama required.
Well every time I hold him they look like they want to vomit. Its hard knowing they want me out of the picture. For example, when I held him everyone stayed away,
Did it ever occur to you that this is because you act like the poster boy for anger management whenever anyone comes close to you when you're holding the kid?
You brought this reaction on yourself. You need to work hard to repair their understandable negative perception of you.
I think the problem you are going to face down the road is putting your wife in the position of choosing between time with you and time with her family. It's one thing to excuse yourself occasionally, but you will need to deal with the issue or it will haunt your marriage forever.
That's not necessarily true. I no longer attend my husband's family functions. I tried my best for a few years, went on strike for a few years,and returned to give it a try for another few years. I regret that I even gave them that second chance.
I can say with certainty that I am permanently done with my inlaws. There isn't a event in the future that could possibly draw me to be near them. It's unlikely that I will even notify them if my husband passes away until after the funeral. They can have their own memorial service.
My husband attends whatever family functions he choses. He's not torn between us. I'm not the least bit upset when he goes. I wish him a good time when he's leaving. I enjoy a peaceful time at home or with my own family.
I feel your pain. At a wedding shower that some friends of hers threw for us (10 years and 2 kids ago), my MIL got tipsy, took off her bra (shirt on but with no bra), and danced around the living room barefoot. Her friends thought it was adorable. I fled to the basement and hung out watching football with the guy who was grilling the food. No one even noticed my absence. It's all about her all the time, and that trend only intensified once she got to be the "proud grandma" (never mind that they're OUR kids, not hers!)
Hopes, would you really not tell a Mom and Dad that their own son had died?
That is so immature and ruthless. I can understand your not liking them or wanting to be around them but to deny them information about their own child is unreal.
This statement speaks volumes about your character.
no she took him, held him for a while and then handed him to her husband. Did I mention they had four girls and desperately wanted a boy? Well every time I hold him they look like they want to vomit. Its hard knowing they want me out of the picture. For example, when I held him everyone stayed away, but as soon as the MIL gave him to my FIL everyone came around and started touching him and talking to him. Its sad...on their part. Me? I just smiled and acted as friendly as I could
You did a great job - handled yourself like a gentleman, behaved respectfully towards your MIL, didn't stand in the way of the inlaws spending time with your son and kept the visit to an enjoyable length.
Even if they never warm up to you, at least you know you've done your part. Your wife and son will appreciate you for that.
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