U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Powell, WY
992 posts, read 2,196,552 times
Reputation: 1348

Advertisements

My husband was asked by a friend he grew up with to assist coaching tee ball this fall. We have a 6 year old girl, as does he (they were both in the same class last year) and my husband thought he'd love to coach our daughter again.

Since my husband is the coach and his friend is the "manager", he's kind of let his friend take the reins...he doesn't want to step on anyone's toes (people can get really crazy out of hand when it comes to youth sports). Anyway, one of the kids, who happens to be our friends' daughter (manager's daughter) is ABSOLUTELY out of control. She kicks my husband in the shins, spits on the ball and throws it, throws bats at other kids, throws the ball intentionally to hit other coaches on other teams, tells all the adults to shut up, doesn't practice, pouts when she doesn't get her way (yet her dad always lets her play 1st base and tells her if she doesn't behave then she will have to go to the outfield), and last night she SPIT on my husband 4 times. ON HIM. In the middle of a game. My husband has held his tongue with this child so many times, and out of what he thought was respect for his friend, has refrained from saying anything about this unruly child. Just an aside, she punched me in my stomach the other day (I'm 5.5 mos pregnant), she kicked my 8 year old in the face and told her to eff off. I mean, she is absolutely the MOST out of control child I've ever seen.

Sooooo last night after she spit on my husband for the last time, he looked at her, and said (while she was on first base), "if you spit on me again, I am going to bend you over my knee and spank you right here in front of everyone". FINALLY her dad heard that, and apparently was mortified...he chased her around the field and made her sit out the rest of the game. He told her she needed to apologize to my husband (who is her coach) and she spit and said "No!" So when I didn't give her a team snack at the end of the game (her dad told me not to give her one) she asked where her snack was and I said that her daddy said to not give her one. She then spit at me and kicked my leg. I wanted to snatch that child up and whoop her behind like no tomorrow!

How in the Sam Hill does a parent let a child get away with that behavior? Both her mother and father are like, "Oh I'm going to whoop her when we get home" or "She's going to be grounded" yet they do nothing. They are are friends, but this is starting to strain our relationship....not to mention other parents are mortified and have complained to the little league board about her behavior.

I am proud of my husband for being so calm up to this point, and of course he would NEVER hit a child, but he felt like he had to say that to her to get her attention.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:44 AM
 
13,851 posts, read 23,352,140 times
Reputation: 39017
Hmmm. It has been my experience during youth sports that many (no, not all) of the parents coach for two reasons: Either they think their child is a super star and want to make sure they are showcased, or their kids have behavioral issues and they realize another coach will not put up with them.

The best way to handle this is through the league. If enough parents complain the league officials have a responsibility to remove the girl from the team.

In the meantime, your husband should stop the game when this child acts up, and ask the other father to put her on the bench. Maybe a conversation prior to the game would be helpful to make sure the other parent is onboard with reining her in.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:54 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 3,913,800 times
Reputation: 2186
I can't believe that she punched you in the stomach while pregnant. This child is going to turn into a delinquent (actually she already is one) all because her stupid parents are too stupid to discipline her properly. The parents should punish her by taking her off the team and not allowing her to play any sports any longer until she learns the meaning of respect. Spitting and hitting people is UNACCEPTABLE. I don't know what I would have done had I been pregnant and a kid punched me in the stomach
The parents have obviously determined to let this child be the boss and to walk all over them and everyone else. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Some people are too stupid to be parents.

Last edited by KylieEve; 10-06-2010 at 08:55 AM.. Reason: .
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 08:58 AM
 
1,592 posts, read 3,313,082 times
Reputation: 1162
No doubt about it, that girls parents are not doing their job in disciplining that child. She is out of control. Sure sounds like they are not following through with their threats to punish her.

If I were him, I would get on the phone RIGHT NOW and call that father and have a good, long talk with him. He needs to let him know that if things don't change, he (and your daughter) will at the very least leave the team. Personally, I wouldn't have threatened her with a spanking b/c parents get very defensive about that when it comes to someone else doing it, but I agree, spanking is what she needs at this point.

There is no excuse for this type of behavior, which, in my mind, borders on criminal. I wonder if the dad could be held criminally liable if that daughter were to inflict permanent harm on your unborn baby.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Powell, WY
992 posts, read 2,196,552 times
Reputation: 1348
I think she acts out to get attention....her teacher happened to be at the game the other night and she said, "Watch me, Mrs. Scott...I'm the best player on the team. I get all the outs. I'm the best". She said this in front of all of the other players and parents. Of course, she's 6, so what can you do?

She got the "game ball" the other night for her outs, but she chases kids down, takes the ball from the other children to get outs. I am pretty laid back with the sports thing...I really just like to watch, but it is really out of hand...not to mention the violence she displays. She slapped her mother in the face just yesterday, too.

What's really sad is...her parents are both very nice, likeable people. I really like them both, as does my husband but their daughter's behavior is making it very hard to be around them. My kids can't stand her either.

I agree...I think my husband ought to step up and stop the game and deliver consequences when she acts up. I just wonder what in her says it's ok to spit on someone and punch an adult in the stomach.

I agree, as well that the only reason her dad is coaching is because other coaches would not tolerate such behavior. He's asked my husband to coach with him in the spring, too. I'm afraid this will really strain a friendship.

But this child...I have never in my life seen a ruder child either. She hit the coach from the other team in the head with the ball on purpose last night because he told her she needed to move. He was so embarrassed and ticked, too! The other parents on the team grumble and have made anonymous phone calls to the little league board ABOUT her. And of course, the coach is mad and wants to know who did it. How do you tell someone their child is absolutely out of control? They joke about it...calling her "satan" (her name is Payton) or asking us if we want her. Ummm the answer to that is not a no, but a big H E double hockey sticks NO!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Canada
3,430 posts, read 3,913,800 times
Reputation: 2186
That is too funny that her name is Payton. I guess its an appropraite name for the little hellion
You say the parents are nice people but if so how can they tolerate letting their daughter treat people like she does.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 09:44 AM
 
Location: here
24,854 posts, read 33,128,579 times
Reputation: 32639
The next time she acts out, I think your husband should send her over to her parents on the sidelines and not let her play. The parents should be dealing with her, not your husband.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 09:56 AM
 
17,045 posts, read 20,283,137 times
Reputation: 17209
A coach has no business threatening to spank a child on his team. He should, however, bench her. If the behavior continues, she should be off the team. Even if she *is* a good player as getting the game ball suggests, it sounds like she needs to be taken off the team entirely.

Her parents must be dealt with too. I would suggest finding a manager who has a well-behaved child.

Dorothy
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 10:01 AM
 
Location: here
24,854 posts, read 33,128,579 times
Reputation: 32639
Quote:
Originally Posted by nana053 View Post
A coach has no business threatening to spank a child on his team. He should, however, bench her. If the behavior continues, she should be off the team. Even if she *is* a good player as getting the game ball suggests, it sounds like she needs to be taken off the team entirely.

Her parents must be dealt with too. I would suggest finding a manager who has a well-behaved child.

Dorothy
I agree. That wasn't the best way to handle it. I understand the feeling though!
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-06-2010, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Denver
4,564 posts, read 10,341,102 times
Reputation: 3936
How would your husband be handling this if it weren't the child of a good friend/the manager? If he's giving her "special treatment" so to speak by not doing what needs to be done for the good of the team and enjoyment of the other kids, then it's not right.

It's a tough situation to be in for sure, but taking on the responsibility of coach means looking out for all the kids and the team as a whole.

Is this the first time you've really been around the child or is she only like this when playing sports?
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top