Child Custody - Age of influence regarding who to live with (parent, wife)

[Mad_Jasper]

My ex and I share custody of my 10 year old daughter. My ex and I are both remarried (new spouses) and have an amicable relationship, mainly because I and my current wife tolerate a lot of drama and nonsense for my daughter's sake.

A silly incident where my ex and her husband's argument turned into a staged suicide attempt by my ex has seriously impacted my daughter. She hates going back to her mother's house. Also, because she has been often upset when she returns to her mom's house, her mother told her that she could not see me anymore when it's "her" time with her. She has also refused several times of late to let my daughter call me. My duaghter claims that they never spend any time with her and that she feels unloved and ignored. It is almost a traumatic experience every time she goes back.

Last night, she told me she wanted me to do something about it. I explained the consequences to her and her mother's relationship - that it would be forever damaged. She agreed. I told her that this had to be her decision and that she would have to discuss this with an attorney and most likely a judge. She still agreed. I have encouraged her to wait it out for a few more weeks, or at least until after the holidays because she might have a change of heart. I feel though that things will deteriorate rapidly.

I have tried to discuss this with my ex but she is only concerned that it's unfair to her. She never thinks of my daughter's feelings.

So, at what point will my daughter's preference of living arrangements influence a judge?

[Honeycrisp]

You might want to post this in the Parenting section in the bottom half of the C-D site, am sure you'll get some good suggestions.