So angry right now (ADHD, out of control, autism, weight)
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If the school won't do it, you can call social services yourself. You know who he is. You know where he lives. Let a government social worker do an evaluation if the school doesn't.
Probably. I'm old school and usually don't lean towards over-protecting. But even thirty years ago when my kids were riding bikes with no helmets and playing dodge-ball a kid like David would have made me go "wait a minute".
Kids will punch it out. But it's usually one on one and forgotten tomorrow. This is a child hitting multiple kids in the same game of tag and kicking in the face. (That's what clued me in. There's always a clue.)
Another clue: That the school called you to tell you he'd been hit. Then they call you to tell you there's a bruise. Does your school usually call for school yard dust-ups? I'm guessing no. I think the school KNOWS he is a problem and they tried a pre-emptory strike so you wouldn't be surprised when your son get home.
Hang in there! We're thinking of you. (I'm thinking of David too. I'm betting he's got a real dysfunctional home life. Who knows? Maybe all of this will lead to him getting help.)
I am so sorry this is happening to your son, lisalan. I am very thankful none of my kids have ever been bullied, but I can imagine what it's like. I don't think you're overreacting at all. If it was just a little slap, then maybe I could see where this would be going overboard, but the boy gave your son a bruise, for crying out loud!
For now, I would just make sure that YOUR son is protected, since I bet both you and him are frustrated. Teach him proper self-defense such as telling a teacher/adult immeadiately if anyone hits him. Hitting back would be a last resort, but if that's what it comes down to, then so be it. I have always taught my kids to be confident, so that kids knew not to bully them. Not cocky, but confident (there's a difference).
Once you know that you're son won't be getting hit again, then start to worry about other kid. Talk to the teacher or principal and explain to them your concerns, both for your son and the other boy
I am so sorry this is happening to your son, lisalan. I am very thankful none of my kids have ever been bullied, but I can imagine what it's like. I don't think you're overreacting at all. If it was just a little slap, then maybe I could see where this would be going overboard, but the boy gave your son a bruise, for crying out loud!
For now, I would just make sure that YOUR son is protected, since I bet both you and him are frustrated. Teach him proper self-defense such as telling a teacher/adult immeadiately if anyone hits him. Hitting back would be a last resort, but if that's what it comes down to, then so be it. I have always taught my kids to be confident, so that kids knew not to bully them. Not cocky, but confident (there's a difference).
Once you know that you're son won't be getting hit again, then start to worry about other kid. Talk to the teacher or principal and explain to them your concerns, both for your son and the other boy
Isn't not running fast enough the reason for getting tagged?
One would think so but I was just thinking the mom would probably come up with some flimsy excuse for why her kid is a little creep. Sorry you are having to go through this with your son. Hopefully everything will work out for you.
Punishment alone will just make him more frustrated and angry if he isn't offered resources to provide him with the tools to improve his behavior. That's why I'm so upset by these Zero Tollerance and Bullying policies. They don't fully address the problem. You know why? The damn polices are only in place to protect the school districts from lawsuits. The school districts don't care about solving the problem. They just want to say "We did what we were required to do. We have this policy." But the problems don't really get appropriately resolved.
I totally agree about the zero tolerance policies. They prevent kids like the OPs son from fighting back in the only way that violent people respect.
However, I do think that punishment serves a purpose. Although it does not solve the problem it does put the parents on notice that there is a rather large problem. If NOTHING serious ever happens to the child the school is not communicating the seriousness of the problem to:
1. The parents-the parents seem to see his violent behavior as a badge of honor. Having him suspended, communicates to the parents that the child's behavior is nothing to be proud of, and that it will be taken seriously by the school. Perhaps it will spur the parents to get help to the child. It also puts them on notice that is not acting normally. They will NEVER understand that unless he is punished.
2. The other kids. When you have a violent child in a classroom everyone is afraid. The kids deserve to see that unacceptable behavior is not tolerated. The need to see that the child is removed from the class for a period of time and that there are consequences to this child's actions. The other kids need to know that the adults are taking the proper steps to ensure a safe environment.
3. The child himself. Without punishment nobody is communicating to him that his actions are unacceptable. Maybe he never learned it at home but he certainly will not learn it at school if there are no consequence for his actions.
I am a big advocate of calling the police if the school will not do anything. Molly coddling violent kids doesn't stop them from being violent. If he needs counseling then he should get it, but he should ALSO have the book thrown at him. Violent kids do not belong in school with non violent kids. if the school won't do anything the OP should file a police report.
It is unacceptable for a 7 year old to come home with a bruise on his face and have NOTHING happen to the other child. It is APPALLING to suggest that they kid who did the hitting should get ONE SHRED of sympathy from anyone.
If you can do both at the same time, that's not really an issue is it?
I'm talking about merely writing a simple letter. It's 15 minutes.
Writing a letter isn't going to hold her back from protecting her child.
Plus, the letter is going to contribute to protecting her child in addition to everything else she will be doing to protect her child.
I'm absolutely amazed you think this is putting the other child first.
Heck, I'll even write the letter for her, and provide blanks for her to fill in the names.
Lisalan, if you'd like me to write you a form letter, I'd be glad to do so for you. Just let me know!
No, I totally agree. Writing a letter WILL be protecting her child. I'm afraid you're missing my point, however. So, I'll just stop posting.
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I'm sure there will be more.
