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I just found out that my son has been lying to me all this week about going to tutoring after school.
Last week, he recieved an Unsatisfactory, for Algebra, on his Progress Report. I told him that he needs to go to tutoring after school everyday so that he can get higher grades on his tests.
Well, starting this Monday, he has been telling me that he's been staying after school for tutoring. I asked him what he did and he would tell me (a fib) about what they went over everyday.
I spoke with his teacher today and she told me that he has NEVER been to tutoring after school!! I asked him why he lied to me and he said that he had been studying on his own and didn't think that he needed to go to tutoring, but he didn't tell me because I would get mad at him.
I can not believe he sat there and lied to me ALL week long instead of just telling me. So he will be staying in his room, no TV, no phone, no nothing, all weekend. He will not be allowed out AT ALL....only to eat and use the bathroom, and he will need to ask me first!
Does this punishment sound too harsh? Has anyone else gone through this with their teen?
I know, the posts an old one...but the answers still apply, maybe to someone else going through it..."he didn't tell me because I would get mad at him". To the OP I would ask.. would you have? Did he have a choice in him going to the tutor? Maybe the kid knew you'd get mad at him if he did, and mad at him if he didn't....looks like he loses anyways, he probably knew that. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and see what his next progress report says. If he's improved...great, if not, then I'd perhaps make him lose the phone until after some homework that I'D give to him to help him improve. Making him stay in his room with nothing to do won't help him...he'll just be angry and get better at hiding things from you..If I were him I wouldn't ask to use the bathroom, I'd just s##t on the floor...that's just toooo much.
I just found out that my son has been lying to me all this week about going to tutoring after school.
Last week, he recieved an Unsatisfactory, for Algebra, on his Progress Report. I told him that he needs to go to tutoring after school everyday so that he can get higher grades on his tests.
Well, starting this Monday, he has been telling me that he's been staying after school for tutoring. I asked him what he did and he would tell me (a fib) about what they went over everyday.
I spoke with his teacher today and she told me that he has NEVER been to tutoring after school!! I asked him why he lied to me and he said that he had been studying on his own and didn't think that he needed to go to tutoring, but he didn't tell me because I would get mad at him. :dubious:
I can not believe he sat there and lied to me ALL week long instead of just telling me. So he will be staying in his room, no TV, no phone, no nothing, all weekend. He will not be allowed out AT ALL....only to eat and use the bathroom, and he will need to ask me first!
Does this punishment sound too harsh? Has anyone else gone through this with their teen?
That may be a problem. To have good communication with children, you need to understand their motivation and way of thinking. I would start with why doesn't he do well in math. Identify where exactly the weakness is. How can he work by himself if he doesn't understand the material? Or, perhaps he didn't prepare his homework and didn't review the material at all before the test. You need to go deeper then "unsatisfactory".
As for punishment, its more for you to answer. What do you want to get? Will this punishment prevent the behavior in the future, or another punishment is more appropriate?
We as a society have failed when it comes to disciplining our children in the United States. When I was growing up my family only had a few rules. 1st No Lying 2nd No stealing 3rd Do good at school 4th Do your chores. Simple, if you broke a rule you would get your butt broken.
I am 45 and have never been arrested for anything because of these simple rules in my childhood. These people today think if a child breaks rules like these ones the child should be put in time out or have a lite punishment like extra chores. This is why kids these days are shooting up malls and schools, stealing cars, robbing homes, doing drugs etc. Things that you or I wouldn't even of thinking of doing back in the day. Kids are taught at a young age at school if your parents hit you to call children and families (HRS) and this is so wrong.
Schools are scared to discipline and so are the parents because the state will destroy them. Kids today are very smart and no how to use the system to there benefit or better known as manipulation. Now a days if you even put your hands up to a kid he or she you flat out tell you that they will call the children and families on you and have you arrested, and if they do you will go to jail. WAKE UP PEOPLE if this type of discipline was used when we were kids this world would be much worse.
Can you imagine stealing cars or back talking when we grew up. Ouch is all I can say. People who don't have kids need to keep their mouths shut and the states need to keep out of family affairs. Child abuse to me is when a child gets beaten on a daily bases and has broken bones or his or her face is busted up. These types of people should be thrown in jail and have the same thing done to them. But just because a child gets slapped in the face for back talking or gets a belt for lying or stealing and has reminder marks on that ass every time he or she sits down for a few days, that's not abuse that's a life lesson that they won't forget.
Better than jail better than someone loosing a love one or having something stolen. Just think about if we dont get control back from these kids what the country will be like in another 20 years. This country needs to wake up. Hey but let them keep the phones and watch TV because that's just too harsh..lol
Last edited by Jaded; 02-26-2014 at 07:26 PM..
Reason: Edited post for language
We as a society have failed when it comes to disciplining our children in the United States. When I was growing up my family only had a few rules. 1st No Lying 2nd No stealing 3rd Do good at school 4th Do your chores. Simple, if you broke a rule you would get your butt broken.
I am 45 and have never been arrested for anything because of these simple rules in my childhood. These people today think if a child breaks rules like these ones the child should be put in time out or have a lite punishment like extra chores. This is why kids these days are shooting up malls and schools, stealing cars, robbing homes, doing drugs etc. Things that you or I wouldn't even of thinking of doing back in the day. Kids are taught at a young age at school if your parents hit you to call children and families (HRS) and this is so wrong.
Schools are scared to discipline and so are the parents because the state will destroy them. Kids today are very smart and no how to use the system to there benefit or better known as manipulation. Now a days if you even put your hands up to a kid he or she you flat out tell you that they will call the children and families on you and have you arrested, and if they do you will go to jail. WAKE UP PEOPLE if this type of discipline was used when we were kids this world would be much worse.
Can you imagine stealing cars or back talking when we grew up. Ouch is all I can say. People who don't have kids need to keep their mouths shut and the states need to keep out of family affairs. Child abuse to me is when a child gets beaten on a daily bases and has broken bones or his or her face is busted up. These types of people should be thrown in jail and have the same thing done to them. But just because a child gets slapped in the face for back talking or gets a belt for lying or stealing and has reminder marks on that ass every time he or she sits down for a few days, that's not abuse that's a life lesson that they won't forget.
Better than jail better than someone loosing a love one or having something stolen. Just think about if we dont get control back from these kids what the country will be like in another 20 years. This country needs to wake up. Hey but let them keep the phones and watch TV because that's just too harsh..lol
Let me see if I understand you. Crime rates are down now, but apparently this is the only generation shooting up malls and schools, stealing cars, robbing homes, doing drugs etc.?
Let me see if I understand you. Crime rates are down now, but apparently this is the only generation shooting up malls and schools, stealing cars, robbing homes, doing drugs etc.?
Not only crime rates are down (substantially), but so are teens pregnancies, drug use, and alcohol abuse. College attendance is way up. Yup, youth today is just screwing us every way till Sunday because we don't smack them around enough.
People lie because they are in a weakened position. Punishing them does no good...it just makes for a more highly skilled liar in the future. Your kids have to trust you. Once that trust is gone you are pretty much finished as a parent.
We as a society have failed when it comes to disciplining our children in the United States. When I was growing up my family only had a few rules. 1st No Lying 2nd No stealing 3rd Do good at school 4th Do your chores. Simple, if you broke a rule you would get your butt broken.
I am 45 and have never been arrested for anything because of these simple rules in my childhood. These people today think if a child breaks rules like these ones the child should be put in time out or have a lite punishment like extra chores. This is why kids these days are shooting up malls and schools, stealing cars, robbing homes, doing drugs etc. Things that you or I wouldn't even of thinking of doing back in the day. Kids are taught at a young age at school if your parents hit you to call children and families (HRS) and this is so wrong.
Schools are scared to discipline and so are the parents because the state will destroy them. Kids today are very smart and no how to use the system to there benefit or better known as manipulation. Now a days if you even put your hands up to a kid he or she you flat out tell you that they will call the children and families on you and have you arrested, and if they do you will go to jail. WAKE UP PEOPLE if this type of discipline was used when we were kids this world would be much worse.
Can you imagine stealing cars or back talking when we grew up. Ouch is all I can say. People who don't have kids need to keep their mouths shut and the states need to keep out of family affairs. Child abuse to me is when a child gets beaten on a daily bases and has broken bones or his or her face is busted up. These types of people should be thrown in jail and have the same thing done to them. But just because a child gets slapped in the face for back talking or gets a belt for lying or stealing and has reminder marks on that ass every time he or she sits down for a few days, that's not abuse that's a life lesson that they won't forget.
Better than jail better than someone loosing a love one or having something stolen. Just think about if we dont get control back from these kids what the country will be like in another 20 years. This country needs to wake up. Hey but let them keep the phones and watch TV because that's just too harsh..lol
FACT:
Violent crime among juveniles has declined by 55% since 1994.
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