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Old 10-26-2010, 08:56 AM
Status: "Fall is in the air-too soon!" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
68,608 posts, read 57,229,522 times
Reputation: 19412
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
You are making generalizations.

I've seen teens with both types of parents get pregnant.

I've seen teens with both types of parents head down many wrong paths.

There is not one form of parenting that produces better results.
Having taught teen parenting, I agree!

To elaborate, by the time kids are old enough to get pregnant, they are old enough to be their own person, make decisions that the parents would not necessarily agree with.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:01 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,131,329 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
You are making generalizations.

I've seen teens with both types of parents get pregnant.

I've seen teens with both types of parents head down many wrong paths.

There is not one form of parenting that produces better results.

Well i am going by what i have seen from the classes i have taken. While both types of parents can produce the same result often i have found the ones with overzealous parents tend to have a higher rate. They also tend to promote abstinence without talking about bc as well which might be the largest factor.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:05 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,131,329 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by sskkc View Post
Prostitution is legal in Nevada... so I guess that's okay too in your book. You HAVE let your daughter know that being a prostitute is one of her choices, right? As a career, requires little to no schooling.

If it makes her happy and she is being safe with it then yes i would be fine with it.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:07 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,131,329 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom View Post

If your 12 to 14 yr olds want to have boyfriends or girlfriends how hard is it to monitor them? I never allowed my kids to have a member of the opposite sex in the rooms with the doors closed, when I went to bed the friends went home. If there was a party it was parent supervised. Dances at school the same thing, where I dropped them off was where I picked them up. I think our society puts a responsibility on kids that they are not ready to deal with. We are in such a hurry for them to grow up and we have also become a society that thought our parents were too controlling and so we go the opposite direction, instead of establishing that balance that is needed.
You are not around them all the time however, i used to sneak friends *girls* in my bedroom all the time after my parents went to bed and they didn't know about it. There are tons of creative ways to do what you want if you are really of the mind to do it.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:12 AM
 
Location: somewhere
3,667 posts, read 5,086,718 times
Reputation: 2048
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
Having taught teen parenting, I agree!

To elaborate, by the time kids are old enough to get pregnant, they are old enough to be their own person, make decisions that the parents would not necessarily agree with.

If your daughter starts her period at 10 then she is able to get pregnant, in that case you would agree that they are old enough to be their own person and make decisions parents would not agree with? I know I am probably speculating on something that doesn't happen but worst case scenario a 10 yr old could have sex and be put in this position. My daughter didn't start her period that young but I have friends with girls that age that have started their periods. It is mind-blowing for me to think about a 10 yr old girl voluntarily having sex.

Where as parents do we draw the line? When do we say to our kids that having sex prematurely is not okay? Or do we just avoid the subject and hope we raised kids capable of not bending to peer pressure.

I have a 13 yr old and the last thing on his mind is girls, he is playing sports and hanging out with his friends. Now my 17 yr old son, is interested in girls but so far is more interested in graduating high school and becoming a forensic scientist and he fully understands the consequences having sex could have on his future. Maybe we have just been really lucky with our kids but I would like to credit ourselves and say we set bounderies for our children, we communicated with them and let them know we loved them. Sometimes loving our kids is having rules and knowing that you know what is best for them. We also have a very deep Christian faith and deep Christian values and I believe that made a difference.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:15 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,131,329 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom View Post
We also have a very deep Christian faith and deep Christian values and I believe that made a difference.

Many parents do as well and they still end up with a pregnant teen. I think a lot of things factor in to your success. You are not the average religious parent either as you do teach your kids sex education. Perhaps it is your more moderate attitude that has given you this success? And i also agree the thought of a 10 year old having sex is beyond scary.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:17 AM
 
Location: somewhere
3,667 posts, read 5,086,718 times
Reputation: 2048
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
You are not around them all the time however, i used to sneak friends *girls* in my bedroom all the time after my parents went to bed and they didn't know about it. There are tons of creative ways to do what you want if you are really of the mind to do it.

Sorry doesn't happen in my household, just because you did it after your parents went to bed, doesn't mean it happens in my household. I am am extremely light sleeper and all my kids knew this, somehow my kids are convinced that I know everything. You can speculate all you want about what my kids may or may not be doing behind my back and that is okay. I know my kids. They didn't and don't take our boundries lightly, they know there are consequences for breaking the rules in our house. They are taught these rules as babies and they exist until they move out of our house.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:21 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 3,131,329 times
Reputation: 1645
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom View Post
Sorry doesn't happen in my household, just because you did it after your parents went to bed, doesn't mean it happens in my household. I am am extremely light sleeper and all my kids knew this, somehow my kids are convinced that I know everything. You can speculate all you want about what my kids may or may not be doing behind my back and that is okay. I know my kids. They didn't and don't take our boundries lightly, they know there are consequences for breaking the rules in our house. They are taught these rules as babies and they exist until they move out of our house.

My mother was a light sleeper too however . I was taught rules as well but like any teen i would test them from time to time as well. Though i broke that rule often because my mother had this odd belief on not allowing sleepovers or people int he house past 8 which i still can't figure out till this day.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Oxford, Connecticut
504 posts, read 520,575 times
Reputation: 546
Quote:
Originally Posted by ajzjmsmom View Post
I based my posts on several posters on here who thought it was a good idea to put 12 and 13 yr old girls on birth control "just in case." I have heard parents say "oh just because I put my young daughter on b/c control in no way does it mean I have given her permission to have sex. IMO and granted it is only my opinion it does give them that permission. They are not setting boundries for their children, and basically that is what I am talking about, is children, who the only worries they need at 12 to 14 is what they are wearing and what their grades are. Sorry parents kids, this age group are not emotionally capable of dealing with the emotions that come with physical relationships with members of the opposite sex.

If your 12 to 14 yr olds want to have boyfriends or girlfriends how hard is it to monitor them? I never allowed my kids to have a member of the opposite sex in the rooms with the doors closed, when I went to bed the friends went home. If there was a party it was parent supervised. Dances at school the same thing, where I dropped them off was where I picked them up. I think our society puts a responsibility on kids that they are not ready to deal with. We are in such a hurry for them to grow up and we have also become a society that thought our parents were too controlling and so we go the opposite direction, instead of establishing that balance that is needed.
While I agree with some of your stances on younger teens regarding sex I do feel that monitoring isn't as simple as you may think. When my husband was in 7th grade he moved from Connecticut to Florida for 5 months. His parents were thinking of moving down there and his father went to look for a job. He was shocked at the differences regarding sex. Not only were most of his classmates in Flordia sexually active (as opposed to CT were kids he knew just for the most part "made out") He really couldn't get over how indiscreet they were. He said he actually saw kids having sex. They would do it at dances, in a car with other kids in the car, when a group of them were hanging out at someone's house after school. It was like another world.
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Old 10-26-2010, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
11,948 posts, read 5,571,657 times
Reputation: 11291
Parenting fallacy #523:

"My daughter/son and I are so close. She/he tells be absolutely everything. I know she/he is not having sex/drinking/doing drugs because if she/he was, they would tell me."

While it's a nice idea to think that they will talk to you before engaging in these activities, they more than likely will not. I know there are always exceptions here, but the average child will not. All you can do is try and prepare them as best you can so that when faced with these situations, they will make the best decision for themselves.
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