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Honestly, if someone was looking to pawn their child off on me (and it does sound like that is what she is looking to do) after just recently reconnecting after years and years, it is most likely not someone I'm going to want to call a friend. It's child endangerment in my book. She has no idea whether the child would be safe or not with the OP. That's downright creepy and plenty good reason to keep one's distance.
Honestly, if someone was looking to pawn their child off on me (and it does sound like that is what she is looking to do) after just recently reconnecting after years and years, it is most likely not someone I'm going to want to call a friend. It's child endangerment in my book. She has no idea whether the child would be safe or not with the OP. That's downright creepy and plenty good reason to keep one's distance.
I don't think the woman was serious. It just doesn't sound like that to me. It sounds like she was being sarcastic the entire time.
The OP might not read people well when it comes to sarcasm for this specific subject matter.
I mentioned "just say no" for in the future if she asks after they've been visiting each other for a year or two.
If it's a red flag, it's a red flag. Follow instincts. I'm just saying that sometimes our instincts are based on misinterpreting information.
I did think she was joking at first. We were talking and she said her daughter really liked me and I replied with that I thought her daughter was a doll, a cutie or whatever. She then says, "ya know, you can take her for the weekend if you want." I laughed and said oh ya..ha ha. I was caught off guard and figured she was joking. She then says, "ya, anytime you want. She would love to spend the weekend with you." So I stammered out some excuses such as "she will get homesick"...or "she really doesn't know me" and so forth. My friend had a solution to each of my comments. This is when I felt it was weird. I did not say yes. I said well that might be something to think about later and I changed the subject.
It doesn't sound like a joke to me....sounds creepy...but agreed, the OP needed to say "no" at the offset. I'm sure she was taken so off guard though that she didn't know what to say at the moment. Going "Are you out of your mind you don't even KNOW me - for all you know, my DH is on the sex offender's list??" might have drawn some negative attention at the restaurant...
It doesn't sound like a joke to me....sounds creepy...but agreed, the OP needed to say "no" at the offset. I'm sure she was taken so off guard though that she didn't know what to say at the moment. Going "Are you out of your mind you don't even KNOW me - for all you know, my DH is on the sex offender's list??" might have drawn some negative attention at the restaurant...
LMAO! If the woman was serious, maybe she needed to hear that, negative attention from restaurant patrons or not.
It doesn't sound like a joke to me....sounds creepy...but agreed, the OP needed to say "no" at the offset. I'm sure she was taken so off guard though that she didn't know what to say at the moment. Going "Are you out of your mind you don't even KNOW me - for all you know, my DH is on the sex offender's list??" might have drawn some negative attention at the restaurant...
It might not have been a joke. I've experienced it too many times in life. While there's the group of overprotective parents, there are also those who are too trusting and seem oblivious (almost ignorant) that anything could ever happen to their child. Some put their own needs in front of their child's needs and will let anyone willing to babysit do so. Another example, years ago I use to watch my close friend's son weekly. At this one time, she lived in a duplex next to a young couple who had a little 2 yr old girl. I was picking up my friend's boy, and this young mom next door had asked my friend if I would take their girl for the night so she could ride in the car w/ her boyfriend while he delivered pizza. I had seen this little babydoll several times before picking up my friend's son, but never met the mom. The little girl was always alone on the screen porch just staring out at me. I was young and not really thinking of any liabilities. I figured she be better off w/ me, so I exchanged phone numbers and took her home w/ me and my friend's son. This was Friday afternoon, and come Sunday, I had still not heard from these parents, nor could I reach them! Looking back now, I would have handled things so differently, but my friend was able to track them down to come pick her up. I still think of that little girl and what kind of life she ended up having.
OP why don't you ask your 'friend' up front on why is she offering to allow her daughter stay with you. I too think its a red flag but I would have confronted her on it. I think its strange. I recently reconnected with some family members from my childhood and I would not allow my child to spend a weekend with them. To me its like they are total strangers even if they are family.
Last edited by CD's Only Mrs. X; 10-24-2010 at 05:20 PM..
My kids stay over night with all sorts of people but the one thing in common is that we know them pretty well and they are all a part of our social group in some way. That is we are connected to them and they to each other.
I agree it's odd, but that doesn't mean OP should keep her distance. Maybe this person just remembers OP as a real honest and trustworthy person. OP doesn't have to watch the child, but she can get to know her friend better if she chooses.
I agree it's odd, but that doesn't mean OP should keep her distance. Maybe this person just remembers OP as a real honest and trustworthy person. OP doesn't have to watch the child, but she can get to know her friend better if she chooses.
Being that I happen to live where I grew up (I did leave but moved back), I tend to trust people I knew in high school quicker than strangers. It's a point of reference to someone's character that I think is relevant. If I get to know someone I never knew before in my life, I have no idea what their history is. It's not that I don't give them a chance. I'm just saying that I do trust (and distrust, depending on the person) people I went to high school with quicker. Even without being best friends, I know who the jerks were, whatever psychological issues they may have based on their behavior growing up, to avoid them and distrust them.
I'm not saying I'd leave my children for a weekend with someone I recently made contact, but I can think of a few people I would easily leave my children with for a few hours---even if I had only started being friends with them again now. Some people we just KNOW. It doesn't sound like the OP was THAT close of a friend with her, but she was probably close enough of a friend for the other women to know that she's a good person. Afterall, it does sound like the OP is a good person when it comes to children.
I'm not saying watch the kids. I'm not saying anything except there's no reason to not get to know her better---just based on this.
Being that I happen to live where I grew up (I did leave but moved back), I tend to trust people I knew in high school quicker than strangers. It's a point of reference to someone's character that I think is relevant. If I get to know someone I never knew before in my life, I have no idea what their history is. It's not that I don't give them a chance. I'm just saying that I do trust (and distrust, depending on the person) people I went to high school with quicker. Even without being best friends, I know who the jerks were, whatever psychological issues they may have based on their behavior growing up, to avoid them and distrust them.
I'm not saying I'd leave my children for a weekend with someone I recently made contact, but I can think of a few people I would easily leave my children with for a few hours---even if I had only started being friends with them again now. Some people we just KNOW. It doesn't sound like the OP was THAT close of a friend with her, but she was probably close enough of a friend for the other women to know that she's a good person. Afterall, it does sound like the OP is a good person when it comes to children.
I'm not saying watch the kids. I'm not saying anything except there's no reason to not get to know her better---just based on this.
Thank you for your thoughts. This woman and I had a lot of common when we were kids because of how we grew up. We both had drunks for fathers and had that connection. But we only stayed friends for about a year or so. Honestly, I do not remember seeing her much after the 9th grade (our city had no jr high, just wanted to throw that in before someone harps that 8th and 9th grade are jr high and not high school )
She remembers a lot about me, things I said, my style...lots of things. I have a feeling I made a larger impact on her than she did on me. It makes me feel a little guilty in a way. I do think she loves her kids. I do not think she is a horrible person but I do think she tends to miss some social clues and has some insecurity issues. I have been pondering all this and maybe her offering her child for the weekend was a way for a deeper connection or to show me she trusts me. Anyway, Im a "let's take it slow" type person. I guess I will have to think more about all of this as far as the friendship goes. The posts on here has given me a lot to think about and I thank you.
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Anyway, Im a "let's take it slow" type person. I guess I will have to think more about all of this as far as the friendship goes. The posts on here has given me a lot to think about and I thank you.
