Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes
I don't think it's exactly this, but close.
She could be offended or embarrassed that the relationship isn't as close as she thought.
But I think she could be acting differently because she 'got' the social cue that she was moving too fast and she's backing off to slow it down for the OP.
Some people aren't good this stuff, but they can still be good people and great friends.
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Hopes I think you nailed it. This is the vibe I am getting. She talks to me on facebook still so its not like she is blowing me off but she was calling me quite a bit on the phone and that has slowed down. She did send me a private message telling me she got fired from her job a few days ago. She worked there quite a while. So I can imagine she has a lot more on her mind than me! But I have a feeling missing social clues might be an issue for her.
She told me the reasons they gave for letting her go. She said she didnt understand but honestly I could (of course I did not say that). For one her boss did not like her and this bothered her so I think she started to be a pest in this regard. Going over board to get that personal approval etc. Another thing I did not mention before because quite honestly, I forgot about it. She said she was wrote up several times for hygiene. When she said that, I had a flashback to when we were kids. She smelled back then. It wasnt B.O., she never looked dirty either. It was an odd smell. I remember a lot of kids were mean to her. Soap was left on her desk and even someone hung a soap on the rope on her locker. I remember asking my mother about it and she said sometimes people have a medical condition. This is not the reason why we stopped being friends back then. In fact, sometimes I stood up for her when someone was being mean. Also, the 2 times I met her in person, she did not smell at all and again why it didnt enter my mind. I am getting old, my memory isn't as good as it used to be.
The reasons we stopped hanging out way back when is that she was immature and a bit odd. When we rode our bikes she would whip through major inner sections without looking. She drove me nuts. I felt like a mother hen around her. She was hyper and didn't think. It was like hanging out with someone much much younger. She was loud and drew a lot of attention and well being 14, I wanted to be cool.
One time she asked me to go bike riding and I had other plans. She was hit by a car later that day. I remember feeling really guilty about it. I felt like I should have been with her that day, maybe I could have prevented it. Then I was partly glad I did not go because seeing her hit like that would have been very very upsetting to me. It was pretty bad and she was out for the rest of the year. By the time she came back to school it was a new year and we had made different friends.
She is a nice person. She is smart and the most well read person I have met. her book collection would keep me busy for years. She reads all the time and just finished her 800th book this year! But another reservation I have is that from photos on her facebook page, her house looks pretty disgusting. At first I thought maybe she just took a picture of her home on a bad day. But the more she posts pictures it is becoming quite clear it is an everyday thing. I have a nice home. I went to school for design and she has made comments to me about my home and this where I think she may feel I have money. I don't, I am just really good.
Sooo it does make me wonder if she is a somewhat dirty person and doesn't have a clue. She would like me to stay at her house if I ever make the drive all the way to her house. This will not happen. I would stay at a hotel if it ever came to me driving up to where she lives. Sooo...I just have a lot of reservations going on. She is a really nice person, has an education, well read, very easy to talk to but then seems really out there on everything else.
So I will admit that there are a collection of things that are keeping me on guard. Maybe I have grown to be a snob.
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I told my friend her child is a sweet little girl.
I never asked or implied I would be interested in this. Its not like I dont like the kid its just I never thought about having her stay with me for a weekend. I have to admit I am still feeling out this renewed friendship. The woman is nice but there are things I am starting to remember why we didnt stay friends after 9th grade. Nothing major so I wont bore you with details unless you want them. I just find this weekend thing a bit odd. In my mind I still do not know this woman all that well and she is acting like we have been best friends for years. How does she know that I am not a weirdo? I just can't imagine letting someone take my child for a weekend, out of state, to a place I have never been. Also my friend has never met my husband. Heck, he could be a weirdo! When she offered, I was taken back and I said something along the lines of that her daughter would get homesick. She insisted she wouldnt. I just think its odd or maybe this woman has such a great judge of character that she knows I would really take great care of her child (which I would). I am feeling a red flag here.
