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Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,309 posts, read 38,779,335 times
Reputation: 7185
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jlowkey
if that is how you see it, thats how you see it. a few people have agreed with me, so...
There shouldn't be a feeling of competition between you and the mother and you really shouldn't be imposing on her in an attempt to force your boy to like you. He'll come around. It isn't anything new for young boys to cling to their mothers and to sometimes be aloof with a hard working or otherwise less-present father.
And even if your son grows up to be the valedictorian/Rhodes Scholar/surgeon/professional athlete/insanely wealthy plaintiff's attorney because of the way that you raise him and the things you teach him... No one will ever say "thank you" and that shouldn't bother you.
There shouldn't be a feeling of competition between you and the mother and you really shouldn't be imposing on her in an attempt to force your boy to like you. He'll come around. It isn't anything new for young boys to cling to their mother and to sometimes be aloof with a hard working or otherwise less-present father.
And even if your son grows up to be the valedictorian/Rhodes Scholar/surgeon/professional athlete/insanely wealthy plaintiff's attorney because of the way that you raise him and the things you teach him... No one will ever say "thank you" and that shouldn't bother you.
My goodness, so many have jumped to imaginary conclusions!!! I said the issue is my wife not respecting my wishes. where is this imagined competition between me and my wife? Forcing the boy to like me? Hilarious, At this point he likes anyone who gives him a chew toy. This is about me spending time with him because I work so hard during the week, a week during which other of her family members spend LOADS of time with him: doesnt bother me, but it does when they ring her and say "OH WE MISS THE BABY CAN WE SEE HIM TODAY" when its the weekend, my time to spend with him, and they have seen him almost every day during the week!
I am sorry you think I blame her and my family for all of my problems. If I said I needed counseling and have been to counseling, I dont know HOW you could gather that I blame EVERYONE else but me. Please point out to me where I said we dont need counseling.
I know its convenient to your argument for you to position me in this way, but its not at all accurate.
It was in response to my post on this page, but it seems to have been deleted.
if its not there then there's no proof it ever existed. So your link is a complete waste of time. Added to that, I am an advocate of counseling, have been and will go again so I doubt I said I dont need counseling or that my wife didnt.
if its not there then there's no proof it ever existed. So your link is a complete waste of time. Added to that, I am an advocate of counseling, have been and will go again so I doubt I said I dont need counseling or that my wife didnt.
Complete waste of time, your non-link
I'm not the only one who knows what you posted. If it was deleted, it must have been an inappropriate response to my post. I've wasted enough time on you this afternoon. Your issues obviously go beyond what people on this forum can help you with. The only one who can't see it is you.
I'm not the only one who knows what you posted. If it was deleted, it must have been an inappropriate response to my post. I've wasted enough time on you this afternoon. Your issues obviously go beyond what people on this forum can help you with. The only one who can't see it is you.
thank you so much for your thoughtful response. There is a lot of truth in there and I will read and re-read your post until it sticks in my head. Thank you so much for taking the time to write. I really mean that!
However I have said I have overcome my feelings of jealously. My issue this time out is that my wife doesnt respect my wishes, or says "i dont see what the big deal is" when its my feelings that are involved.
Well-the thing is WHY IS IT SUCH A BIG DEAL that your son spends time with your in-laws? The reason I think that your marriage is in such jeopardy is that you really are making a mountain out of a molehill. It truly is not a big deal that your son sees both you and your in-laws in the same day as long as you get some time with him.
Your wife's reaction to your request was wrong, but please understand that her reaction was to your overly possessive request. Without your unreasonable request your wife's reaction never happens.
I am glad that you are working on it, but it does not seem to be getting better. PLEASE THINK about what you are saying (to your wife) before you say it.
My goodness, so many have jumped to imaginary conclusions!!! I said the issue is my wife not respecting my wishes. where is this imagined competition between me and my wife? Forcing the boy to like me? Hilarious, At this point he likes anyone who gives him a chew toy. This is about me spending time with him because I work so hard during the week, a week during which other of her family members spend LOADS of time with him: doesnt bother me, but it does when they ring her and say "OH WE MISS THE BABY CAN WE SEE HIM TODAY" when its the weekend, my time to spend with him, and they have seen him almost every day during the week!
Here's your problem. They love your son. You love your son. Time spent with your son does not equate how much love you will get from him (or give to him). If time spent were the arbiter of how much a person loved another then my son would love his football coach way more than he loves his father or I.
My theory from reading all of your posts is this. You really need to be careful, and try your best to get along with your wife and her family because international custody is difficult. Being that you're in Australia guess who's going to have favor. You really need to try harder not to let small stuff get to you because it's clear to me you love your son, and I'd hate for you to lose him. I can guarantee you if it comes down to it your wife will choose her family over you.
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I'm not the only one who knows what you posted. If it was deleted, it must have been an inappropriate response to my post. I've wasted enough time on you this afternoon. Your issues obviously go beyond what people on this forum can help you with. The only one who can't see it is you.
