Pre-teen boys (am I nieve)? (girl, playing, son, permanent)

[djacques]

Make sure he knows about safe sex and contraception.

[floridadreamer]

We had a talk when I was in 5th grade because that's around the time most girls start mentruatiing. It did include a lot of information on HOW women can get pregnant so no one was misinformed by their friends, which seems to happen a lot. It's very irresponsible in this day and age for schools NOT to offer some sort of informative talk. I know in some very religious areas, parents may not agree to it, I just wish they could see that not giving the kids the information is a recipe for disaster and simply hoping your kids will wait to do it is very naive of the parents.

[Coldjensens]

Our church takes the middlers away for a weekend retreat of sex education. I do not now the curriculum but i am told that it is very good. Yes the church is taking away a responsibility of the parents. But this parent for one is glad of it. It is a painfully embarrassing conversation for both you and your child, especially boys (not sure why).

[djacques]

A good book can help fill in the blanks that a parent might be embarrassed to talk about. When I was that age there was "The Facts of Love" by Alex Comfort. I'm sure they have more up-to-date but similar things now.

[Twinkle Toes]

Originally Posted by lpdsag

I have a 12 year old son who is very intelligent yet gets along with everyone. I am noticing a couple of girls stopping at the house and calling him on his cell phone. Yet I know, you say cell phone-at 12? Yes, he has a cell phone because he walks to his junior high for music everyday and it is a mile away from whom and he crosses busy streets. My concern is this; am I crazy to think my child is just not interested in girls? I have had talks with him about the birds and the bees but nothing really in depth to this point. He is not a phone talker so when they call him it is usually short. My friends and co-workers said I should not even let me talk on the phone at his age. Am I being to nieve to think he is to young to be that interested in girls yet. He is my oldest and I am not sure how to handle this or if I should do anything at all. I am the only female in my house with a husband and 3 sons. I don't know what age boys start getting interested in girls. I here girls find interest in boys much sooner.

Please give me advice!

My son had a cell phone at 10 because I want to be able to know where he is and provide a way for him to call for help if he is ever in a situation where he needed to call me or cal 911.

Yes, boys are interested in girls at 12. At this age they pretty much like to keep that info to themselves or discuss it with very close guy friends. Mine is now 13 and is just starting to come out of the "secrecy" phase and he actually talks to me about the girl(s) he likes and the girls his friends like. At this age they're probably not yet into the sex stage. I also have an older son, who is an adult now, so I've been through this before as well.

[laysayfair]

When my son was 12 (7 years ago) there was a pretty little girl in his class who was always following him around and coming over to do homework and was clearly crazy about him. He so didn't get it. He liked her but he liked his friends better. He just wasn't interested in girls then. I wasn't worried though. I know everybody matures at different rates. He was still a little kid at 12 and not in a hurry. Just like his mom was at the same age.

[djf863000]

I started being interested in girls around age 10/11 in a sexual way, but I was very shy then, so me talking to girls would have been very difficult for me. I did have 2 gfs before the age of 10, but was never sexual. at age 12 I was very cute and most girls in my class had a crush on me. The problem i didn't know how to respond or what to do, it was so confusing and new to me.

[sskkc]

My younger sister became sexually active at 11 or 12. First child at 18. He's 13 now and "He's nothing like I was... he's so naive."

So... I found his MySpace recently. Back and forth in the comments went something like this...

Her: So what did you tell her?
Him: I said they were for practicing.
Her: Practicing? You r sooo funny! I luv you 4evr!

I am estranged from my sister. Didn't think much of it. Then through the family grapevine comes this "cute" story about how my sis found used condoms in his bedroom. He told her he was practicing with them. I was supposed to agree it was cute... after all "Davey" is an honor student, an altar boy not yet in high school and is more interested in his skateboard than any girl.

Tell that to my 34 yo cousin... her first grandchild is due in June.

[DD70]

Originally Posted by lpdsag

I have a 12 year old son who is very intelligent yet gets along with everyone. I am noticing a couple of girls stopping at the house and calling him on his cell phone. Yet I know, you say cell phone-at 12? Yes, he has a cell phone because he walks to his junior high for music everyday and it is a mile away from whom and he crosses busy streets. My concern is this; am I crazy to think my child is just not interested in girls? I have had talks with him about the birds and the bees but nothing really in depth to this point. He is not a phone talker so when they call him it is usually short. My friends and co-workers said I should not even let me talk on the phone at his age. Am I being to nieve to think he is to young to be that interested in girls yet. He is my oldest and I am not sure how to handle this or if I should do anything at all. I am the only female in my house with a husband and 3 sons. I don't know what age boys start getting interested in girls. I here girls find interest in boys much sooner.

Please give me advice!

lol! You are not going through this alone. I understand your moives for getting him a cell but why not get the new one that can only have 3 to 4 numbers listed in case of emergency?

[yankeemom]

I also think it is time (probably past time) to talk more in depth about sex. including oral sex, which is rampant among some middle schools, where some kids seem to have the idea that it "isn't sex".

Most child development experts recommend not having a "face to face", rather a "side by side" talk, i.e. while in the car, out for a walk or during an activity-like basketball in the driveway. It takes the pressure off the kids to maintain eye contact. Even if they don't seem to listen, they are hearing some of it. Also instead of one TALK, there should be many little conversations, sparked by popular culture (Jamie Lynn Spears) or a TV show or music to help instill your value system and a concept of respect for themselves and any girls that may be entering the picture.
They need to know that 1. you are NOT naive. 2. you are willing to talk (and listen) and 3. you are a source of accurate knowledge!