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Old 11-01-2010, 02:45 PM
 
25,084 posts, read 13,113,765 times
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Here is my situation, I am single parenting boys who are well on their way to manhood. And boys have these "man" habits I just was not really prepared for, but I'm dealing with it. I am really close to my youngest kid. He tells me everything, but gives me way too much information. We talk about sex from A to Z. I am not exactly comfortable, but I try and act like I am. I want him to be able to talk to me about anything, but not masturbation issues. He is so comfortable telling me any and everything. I don't want to discourage him, but I want too much information... Does anyone have any suggestions about how to handle this situation? I want to keep lines of communication open, but I want my son to exercise appropriate judgement too.
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Old 11-01-2010, 10:13 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,492 posts, read 2,480,050 times
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I think that you should try to line up a male mentor.

Now be aware that abuse does happen so some precations are required so I am not saying just anyone but needs to be someone you trust and who the kid trusts. The kid needs to be able to talk to you ifthis guy does something odd or wrong.
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Old 11-01-2010, 11:35 PM
 
Location: Northern California
970 posts, read 1,579,834 times
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I honestly don't think your children can talk to you "too much." I envy the parents I see who have children who feel comfortable talking about whatever they need to talk about. It takes a lot of trust to do that.
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:34 AM
 
208 posts, read 215,292 times
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How old is he? Does he know/can he tell that it makes you a little uncomfortable? (ie. is he doing this for entertainment value, which is absolutely something my 13 year old would do) What do you mean he tells you any and everything? Everything in regards to sex/puberty etc, my son tends to talk in vague terms rather than 'me' terms...if that makes sense.
Are his older brothers still in the house? You could encourage him to go in that direction for the more in-depth conversations - you could present it as a 'guy thing'.
(I'm working on appropriate judgement with mine aswell...)
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:36 AM
 
47,578 posts, read 54,579,406 times
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I don't think it's really normal for a son to talk about masturbation with his mother. It sounds like he has a problem understanding that some things really can be and should be private. Too much info! In fact if a boy enjoys talking about every detail of his sexual life and his masturbation - especially with his mother, I would think at the very least, he's a momma's boy. Is he going to marry someday and tell momma all about the sex is with his wife?
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:38 AM
 
Location: Rockwall
678 posts, read 1,159,807 times
Reputation: 1093
Quote:
Originally Posted by sun queen View Post
Here is my situation, I am single parenting boys who are well on their way to manhood. And boys have these "man" habits I just was not really prepared for, but I'm dealing with it. I am really close to my youngest kid. He tells me everything, but gives me way too much information. We talk about sex from A to Z. I am not exactly comfortable, but I try and act like I am. I want him to be able to talk to me about anything, but not masturbation issues. He is so comfortable telling me any and everything. I don't want to discourage him, but I want too much information... Does anyone have any suggestions about how to handle this situation? I want to keep lines of communication open, but I want my son to exercise appropriate judgement too.


I have 3 sons, 19, 14, 13. All with very different personalities. I take a different approach with each one.

How old is he? And what is his maturity level?

Is he asking questions or sharing his experiences?
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Old 11-02-2010, 07:42 AM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
35,957 posts, read 37,364,207 times
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My grown kids talk to me about Everything. I was sure to encourage this when they were young because my parents never said a thing about anything. I had to learn the hard way.

My 29 year old single son is especially candid. I sometimes have to say "TMI" to him and we both laugh and he calms down a bit. But I really am honored they feel they can discuss things with me. I try not to be judgmental and give advice only when asked. If they tell me something I am uncomfortable with or disagree with I tell them "If you don't want my opinion on this we better curtail this conversation" But it turns out they like to hear what I have to say. They don't always agree but they like to hear what I think.

I was especially candid when discussing masturbation with them-yes the girl too- as I did not want them thinking it was anything wrong- just the kind of activity one does in private. Keep up the good communication even if you are uncomfortable and don't feel you need to get a male involved just because you have boys. Good communication is important about everything.
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Old 11-02-2010, 10:52 AM
 
Location: colorado
2,788 posts, read 3,921,968 times
Reputation: 3286
Quote:
Originally Posted by sun queen View Post
Here is my situation, I am single parenting boys who are well on their way to manhood. And boys have these "man" habits I just was not really prepared for, but I'm dealing with it. I am really close to my youngest kid. He tells me everything, but gives me way too much information. We talk about sex from A to Z. I am not exactly comfortable, but I try and act like I am. I want him to be able to talk to me about anything, but not masturbation issues. He is so comfortable telling me any and everything. I don't want to discourage him, but I want too much information... Does anyone have any suggestions about how to handle this situation? I want to keep lines of communication open, but I want my son to exercise appropriate judgement too.

My sons are the same way. I tease them sometimes and tell them I can teach them to lie.
My 17 year old didnt start talking until he was 4 now he wont shut up.
Keep the communication open your a very special mom with great kids.
Great job mom.
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Old 11-02-2010, 11:08 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,422,890 times
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I was a single Mom who raised 2 boys. Be thankful they are discussing anything with you. Never discourage it, no matter how uncomfortable it is. You are the adult, you have to act like one and not let the gross stuff get to you. You are lucky they talk, always remember that. Good job.
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Old 11-02-2010, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,500 posts, read 3,386,639 times
Reputation: 3179
My oldest tells me everything (if there are details she is not sharing... I would be amazed). There have been so many times that I have been driving - clutching the steering wheel - chanting "don't react, don't react" in my head, while my 16 year old tells me things she's thinking or things she's done. At an age where most children don't tell their parents anything and hide what they are doing... my daughter has labeled me as "one of her best friends" and seems very comfortable talking to me. Would I rather have TMI (too much information), or not know what my teen is up to? I would, certainly, take the TMI. Even if it means I have to hear details that I really don't need to know...lol.
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