Daycare called CPS on me.....how do I handle this?! (teaching, have to tell)
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As a child care provider I am a mandated reporter. That means that if I think there is reason to suspect neglect or child abuse, whether physical or sexual, then I must report it to the proper authorities. If I do not report it, then I can be charged with a misdemeanor crime if it's discovered I knew about it, it turns out to be true and did not report it.
Having said that.....a bruise, no matter how nasty it looks, is not something to be reported unless there are other issues. For example, there has to be an explanation that doesn't match the injury, the bruise has distinguishable finger marks, the injury is somehow impairing the child's growth, it is just one of several things that are cause for concern, or the child states differing circumstances than the adult has given.
CPS would much rather go to the child care center to evaluate the child than to the child's home. They are guaranteed to find the child there and talk to them without the child fearing a parent's reaction or CPS having to deal with irate parents. CPS can legally interview the child in a room without any other adult present and take pictures of the child's injuries, just so you know. They can also interview the center personnel in regards to their specific knowledge. However, unless they actually told you that the child care center was the one that called, don't assume that it was them. It could be another parent there or anyone who sees you elsewhere but knows your child attends that center. It could also have been a teacher or aide who didn't take it to the director, which would be standard protocol before reporting.
There is also a very slim chance that CPS was there for another reason and was asked for their opinion on the spot and therefore got involved at that point.
If you want what is best for your child, then work closely with CPS to get this case closed, hopefully they will find no cause and do just that. Then if it was the center that called and you feel like you can still trust the center, have a calm sit down discussion with the director. Inquire as to their protocol regarding such things and for an honest talk about how this happened. Then make a decision as to whether or not this is the best place for your child.
A related story.....one time in our center we had a teacher who reported a sexual abuse claim against a parent. She did this after being told there was no reason to call, was then trained further on what the signs are of sexual abuse and specifically told NOT to call. This child did not show signs of sexual abuse and yet this teacher decided that everyone else was wrong and she was right, so she called anyway. CPS did it's investigation, scared the parents out of their wits and this embarrassed them thoroughly. CPS immediately closed the case as unfounded, which they should have and explained to the teacher what signs to look for, what constitutes sexual abuse and what is normal behavior for 18 month olds. (the age of the child in question)
The parents rightly pulled their child from our care. The teacher was reprimanded for her actions and was again given training on abuse. It didn't matter as she still felt she was right and walked out on us not long after this all happened.
So, there are indeed times things are reported when they shouldn't be.....
cys/cps/whatever they call themselves in your state are in my opninion completely worthless, ive seen too many good parents being harassed by them and then i hear stories of children whove since theyve been born been abused, for example, i one day was playing with my little one and i heard a knock at my door, it was cys investigating false claims of bruises, bed sores, daipers everywhere, dirty bottles with curdled milk in them, him never getting any attention and a dangerous enviroment. well needless to say the lady took one look at my child and asked who hated me, no bruises, no bed sores, clean daiper on, one bottle nearby that id just given him, and a wide smile on his face. meanwhile i read the paper about a child under 5 (cannot remember the exact age) whom his father poured tobasco sauce down his throat, forced the child to drink beer out of his sippy cup till he passed out, wrapped snakes around his throat, shot him with airsoft pistols, and repeatedly beat this child just for the hell of it... nothing was done ever till the child was pushed down the stairs, fractured his skull, and was rushed to the hospital where the doctors also found fractured ribs and other injurys resulting from abuse... cys needs to leave the good parents alone and go after the real bad guys
cys/cps/whatever they call themselves in your state are in my opninion completely worthless, ive seen too many good parents being harassed by them and then i hear stories of children whove since theyve been born been abused, for example, i one day was playing with my little one and i heard a knock at my door, it was cys investigating false claims of bruises, bed sores, daipers everywhere, dirty bottles with curdled milk in them, him never getting any attention and a dangerous enviroment. well needless to say the lady took one look at my child and asked who hated me, no bruises, no bed sores, clean daiper on, one bottle nearby that id just given him, and a wide smile on his face. meanwhile i read the paper about a child under 5 (cannot remember the exact age) whom his father poured tobasco sauce down his throat, forced the child to drink beer out of his sippy cup till he passed out, wrapped snakes around his throat, shot him with airsoft pistols, and repeatedly beat this child just for the hell of it... nothing was done ever till the child was pushed down the stairs, fractured his skull, and was rushed to the hospital where the doctors also found fractured ribs and other injurys resulting from abuse... cys needs to leave the good parents alone and go after the real bad guys
I could not agree more and they also hire some of the most unskilled workers I have ever seen . My nieces parents could not afford a cap and gown for graduation and cps got called in by an over zealous guidance counselor . PLEASE !!! her parents cannot afford a cap and gown omg call the law and have them arrested LOL !!! They told her parents that was neglect and they must get her a cap and gown for graduation . Needless to say her parents are now suing the state and the school board and the guidance counselor and I for one hope she never is able to practice again . She is a moron and has no business guiding young minds when she does not have one at all !!! So yes I dislike cps because they do more harm than good .
cys/cps/whatever they call themselves in your state are in my opninion completely worthless, ive seen too many good parents being harassed by them and then i hear stories of children whove since theyve been born been abused, for example, i one day was playing with my little one and i heard a knock at my door, it was cys investigating false claims of bruises, bed sores, daipers everywhere, dirty bottles with curdled milk in them, him never getting any attention and a dangerous enviroment. well needless to say the lady took one look at my child and asked who hated me, no bruises, no bed sores, clean daiper on, one bottle nearby that id just given him, and a wide smile on his face. meanwhile i read the paper about a child under 5 (cannot remember the exact age) whom his father poured tobasco sauce down his throat, forced the child to drink beer out of his sippy cup till he passed out, wrapped snakes around his throat, shot him with airsoft pistols, and repeatedly beat this child just for the hell of it... nothing was done ever till the child was pushed down the stairs, fractured his skull, and was rushed to the hospital where the doctors also found fractured ribs and other injurys resulting from abuse... cys needs to leave the good parents alone and go after the real bad guys
I fail to see the problem here. Obviously someone falsely reported you, CPS showed up, and acknowledged that everything was fine. In the meantime, no one reported the other child. They can't be all-seeing; how are they supposed to know about abuse if no one reports it?
So yes I dislike cps because they do more harm than good .
This is absolutely not true. They have to investigate every call; do they miss some? Yep. Do they find fault where there is none? Rarely. I'm sure you can find stories about each of those - but out of the thousands and thousands of calls they get, and situations they monitor, they get it right more often than not, at least in my neck of the woods.
It's a limited system, with limited funding, with mostly caring people doing what they can. There are, of course, slackers, as in any profession, but the majority of social workers I know are caring, careful, generous people who truly have the best of the child at heart.
Try tailing a good social worker for a day or two, then see if your opinion changes.
If there is not a history of abuse in your family, you and your husband were not abused, this will probably not go too much further.
You may be asked to provide a letter from your child's pediatrician or a copy of her medical records. Discuss whether or not this is a good idea with your child's pediatrician BEFORE releasing the records. Some medical records have innocent information, that taken by itself, out of context, can give Child Services power to act and remove your child during their investigation.
When our son's preschool did this to us when he was 3, we made mistake after mistake. Being completely innocent, I was completely open and honest with them. Luckily for us, we had good friends and an excellent pediatrician to "save" us and our children. We were accused of starving my son. In the end, we were fully vindicated. We also had to keep our son in the same preschool (luckily for us, it was only 2x a week for 3 hours at a pop) to avoid looking like we were hiding him. But when my son had a breakdown at the preschool and became clingy everytime I had to drop him off, shortly after having to be interviewed alone by them, I went OFF on the teacher and her boss. They did apologize, to him and us, but damage done.
Good luck. The truth will prevail. If you know an attorney personally or are close to someone who works in Child Services or child psychology even, call them now and ask them to advise you. It doesn't seem like a big deal, but you do not know what's happening behind closed doors.
And in most states, they cannot question your child without your knowledge and permission, without a court order. I have first hand knowledge of that fact in Florida and I was given the brochure here in Texas, when Child Services interviewed us about an incident involving a neighbor and their child.
I am very paranoid about things like this. Whenever my daughter scratches herself or gets a bruise like she did last week when she toppled onto our hardwood flooring, I let the daycare know what happened.
In our state they are required to report any "suspected" child abuse to CPS.
That said, I would tell the daycare manager that you are hurt that they didn't speak to you and that you feel you were unfairly judged.
Kids are kids. There will be bruises. If they called CPS on me...it would probably have to be every week or so. She's always jumping around, climbing the stairs, etc. Bruises are bound to happen at their age.
Now, if I know of a big bruise when taking them to daycare, I would drop her off and explain to the teacher what happened. Usually they ask the kid independently to see if the story jives, just to be sure. Also, it helps when the teacher knows your kid and they can see that that would be something your kid would do.
For you, I would keep an eye on any future accidents at home and report them up front with the school so that they don't call CPS again.
cys/cps/whatever they call themselves in your state are in my opninion completely worthless,
Explain that to my foster daughter. She came to us when she was 8 months old, due to neglect at the hands of drug abusing parents. Now, at age 2, we are learning first hand what 8 months of neglect does to a child. She is dealing with physical stability issues from a weak spine and sensory processing disorder. When she showed up, she was the most serious child I've ever seen. Now, she is a happy, fun loving kid, full of (too) much energy. I'm glad the worthless DHR folks managed to save her from a life of hell.
Hello everyone! I need some advice. A little less than a week ago, my daughter (3 years old) was climbing onto her chair for dinner and she slipped and fell off. I saw a small scratch on her side and the next day I saw a bruise. I didn't think much of it after that because she was not acting as if it hurt her and was totally fine.
Today when I went to pick her up from daycare, they had a lady from CPS there to talk with me about what happened. I, of course, talked to her and have NO issues at all if they want to investigate further. I have nothing to hide and am not at all worried.
I do need some advice on how to handle the daycare. I feel very hurt and upset that they didn't say 1 word to me about the bruise. I felt like all eyes were on me as I went to get her from her room and felt like they all thought I was a child abuser. I am not sure how to handle this. I wonder how they would feel if I reported them to the authorities without talking with them or trying to work it out first.
I have not been overly thrilled with the daycare as it is, but I have stuck with them because they are very close to my work and home. My daughter seems pretty happy there, and that is the most important thing to me.
I have not talked with anyone at the daycare yet because I wanted some time to think it over and make sure I know what I want to ask/say to them before I do it. Any advice for me? Anyone else been in this situation? TIA!
They are probably mandated reporters and like others said it was a CYA thing for them. My two youngest are constantly getting scrapes and bruises so it is a bit surprising that for a scratch and bruise they called, but it could be the location or appearance. There might be a protocol for bruises on certain parts of the body. If is out of character for your child to get injured playing (say she is a quiet kid who usually does not get a lot of bumps/bruises/scrapes) maybe that alerted them as well.
Recently I fell chasing our dog and got a little bit of a shiner and a fat lip and scratched up chin, and around the same time my 3yo decided jumping on the bed would be fun and gave himself a shiner. My husband joked that it was a good thing he was out of town at the time! It can be unnerving I am sure to have someone contact you like this - I hope it all settles out OK. I guess next time, I'd make an explanation for any boo-boos to try to head things off and see if that helps.
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I am not sure how to handle this. I wonder how they would feel if I reported them to the authorities without talking with them or trying to work it out first. 
