Playdates! (parents, wife, girls, play)

[l.wilson]

My 6 year old son loves to play with other kids his own age. However, the play dates are always one sided. I don't mind having the playdates at my home because I love the sound of a house full of kids. However the playdates are rarely ever reciprocated. I mean a 5 or 6 times at my home with never an offer to come play at there home. Many of these moms are stay at home moms so there really isn't a comflict with work. My son is a pretty easy going kid so I don't think thats the issue. If this was with only an occasional friend it wouldn't really be such a big deal, however it's with most!

[FarNorthDallas]

That's the way it was for my son, too, when he was that age. I actually prefered it (and apparently so did the other parents).

I had a couple of moms tell me their husbands didn't like kids in their houses at all so that's why my son was never invited over. (I'm single so there's no dad in the picture complaining about kids in my house).

Another mom was so over child raising she wanted the breaks and she quickly got used to having them a lot with her son at my house.

Some of these moms had multiple kids and I just had one. So adding my one made them go from 3 to 4 or something overwhelming. I, on the other hand, found it easier to have 2 than just my one by himself.

My son was about 10 when he made friends with a kid who wanted my son over at his house more than he wanted to come here. My son is over there a lot and I try to reciprocate but there is no way I can make it equal.

There's another mom on my street that had the same thing happen to her (except she has girls). She complained a lot about getting dumped on by the other moms. She and I agreed that part of the deal was she and I allowed kids over and therefor they came. Most other parents simply don't allow kids over. So if the kids are going to play together they are going to play at our houses or not at all. It was just the simple fact that we were willing to host that led our houses to be the house the kids hung out at (her with girls and me with boys).

[ahava]

Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas

There's another mom on my street that had the same thing happen to her (except she has girls). She complained a lot about getting dumped on by the other moms. She and I agreed that part of the deal was she and I allowed kids over and therefor they came. Most other parents simply don't allow kids over. So if the kids are going to play together they are going to play at our houses or not at all. It was just the simple fact that we were willing to host that led our houses to be the house the kids hung out at (her with girls and me with boys).

This happens to me too. My kids know that our house is always open to friends and my 13 year old especially has friends over almost every day. I don't mind because they mostly stay in the basement where her bedroom is. Also, I'd rather have her spending time here where I can keep an eye on her and know what she's doing than somewhere else where a parent might not even be home.

[twins4lynn]

That's just the way it is sometimes for a variety of reasons. My son (age 12) and his friends pretty much split it up as to where they play, which is nice. However his twin sister's girlfriends are the opposite. She hangs around with 4other girls...one girl's mom doesn't like having kids at her house (so no playdates there), the other has a senile grandmother living in her home (so no playdates there), the other mom only has playdates for special occasions (like a birthday), so no playdates there! And they always accept playdates and sleepovers at our house.

I'm ok with it. I'd rather have all the kids here, and know my kids friends, than have them always at someone elses home.

[shuke]

I know my wife tends to be hyper-sensitive about the appearance of our home... i.e., she is embarrassed that the home is messy and not even close to being as clean as a lot of other kids' homes. The kids may make friends at school, and my wife is all for taking our kids to their homes, but she is really fearful... not about the kid coming to our house, but by the parent seeing our house and comparing it to theirs.

Fwiw, we have one special needs kid and two "normal" kids, two dogs and a cat. It's not like the home is a total disaster... but usually the homes we bring our kids to are *considerably* cleaner than ours. And I know it has resulted in our not reciprocating like we would really like to.