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I saw this article and was surprised the school was not more supportive. Suicides due to bullying problems seem to be more and more common in the news lately.
I remember in the Army, when a series of serious problems had occurred in short order, we'd have a day called "Stand Down." Safety concerns, morale, etc, would be directly addressed. It would be good if schools brought it into focus for a day. Get parents involved, empower fellow students to take a stand and support their friends.
Sometimes I think the schools do just enough in order to be able to say they did something. We have to realize our culture has changed and it's still adapting to the speed of texting, Facebook, and more. I hope kids, mine included, would know that there are many better solutions than taking their own life.
"The safety of the students is the primary factor here," Jordan said. "We're looking to keep the kids safe."
Safety was the priority, Knapp said.
"When a group of people form outside the perimeter of the school … we're under construction, we have modular buildings with kids between classrooms, right within almost spitting distance of students going to those classrooms," Knapp said. "We had a police presence there and teachers there to ensure that students aren't harmed."
If a student had been injured while participating in this rally then the school would bear legal consequences.
They should have scheduled the rally on a weekend or after school hours.
I recall that bullying became a topic of discussion online about a decade ago. Many remarked at that time that it was not a serious problem--'always been bullies, always will be', etc -it sounds like things are getting worse.
Pop culture is one source of negativity---I don't think that will change. Schools have zero tolerance policies which seem difficult to enforce and I don't know what else can be done.
...Sometimes I think the schools do just enough in order to be able to say they did something. ...
Or maybe they do all they can do on top of educating the kids and running a school without parental involvement. This is my 3rd year in PTA and I'm frustrated and upset with the total lack of parental involvement. And I hear the same thing from teachers. The schools only have so much time and so much money. At some point, parents (and more than just the usual handful) have to pony up. Bullying begins and ends at home. The schools can only help buoy the situation toward ending--not stop it. For that, parents have to be involved, be donating their time and money, and realize that every kid can be a meany--even theirs.
Good point about a weekend rally - that would have had a more positive impact.
And the parents are less and less involved. That's true, I've even noticed it at Friday night football games. One thing suprising to me is how defensive people are of their kids even when their kid is clearly the problem.
Zero tolerance Policies- While good intentioned, doing nothing but eliminating bullies from schools is neither feasible or effective. Since research indicates that 20% of students bully another at some time in their school career, kicking out 20% of the students obviously won’t work.
Group therapy for students who bully also does not work. First and foremost, the bully needs good role models. Containing them with like offenders , while well intentioned is a recipe for disaster and an over exposure to non social behaviors.
Conflict Resolution Programs- Since bullies victimize, putting the bully and victim together can be extremely upsetting to the victim. Mediation is not the appropriate response. No one deserves to be bullied.
Quote:
What works in School wide Bullying Prevention Programs
The research is clear on what works. The following ten points outline the components of effective school wide bullying programs.
School wide approach. First and foremost the foundation of any bullying prevention program requires school wide approach and commitment. Buy in from the staff and administration is not only appropriate but essential. This requires changing the norms for social behavior and school climate. The school wide message needs to be: Bullying is wrong. It violates school rules and will not be tolerated. It must stop immediately.
Assessment. Successful intervention programs assess bullying by administrating an anonymous bullying questionnaire to students. This questionnaire should identify bullying “hot spots” on campus and also serve as a baseline for future reference and success indicators.
Buy In. Get staff and parents on board with the new bullying program. The majority of the staff should be onboard for the program to be successful.
Bullying Prevention Leadership Team. Form a group to coordinate and provide direction for implementing a bullying program. This team should commit to ongoing reviews of the bullying situation, training, data and lessons to be implemented.
Staff Training. Train staff in bully identification, prevention, and intervention. The staff needs to be trained on how to intervene to stop bullying. For on the spot intervention refer to the “Stop Bullying Now Program” which is a link at the bottom of this pod cast and an outstanding resource for schools.
Policies and Rules on Bullying. Establish and enforce school rules and policies on bullying. Align these with state legislation and district bullying policies.
Bullying Intervention and Supervision is a key. Supervisors/teachers should be present in identified hot spots in which bullying occurs.
Intervene consistently to observations of bullying behavior. Bullying requires separate follow up meetings as needed. Policies and consequences should be predetermined and clearly communicated.
Implement a classroom instructional component in which lessons and discussions on school environment keeps tabs on the bullying situation. A 20-40 minute weekly meeting with mini lessons and instruction on bullying preventions strategies is needed. It is best if an anti-bullying theme can be incorporated throughout the curriculum and school events.
Continuous program with no end date. Revisit bullying prevention themes and intertwine them in classroom curriculum.
Most research on bullying boils down to 4 rules that schools should adopt regarding bullying.
Do not bully.
Help others when you see bullying occur. (Step in or get help of an adult.)
Include others (invite students to be a part of games and activities.)
Tell an adult at home or school if you experience bullying.
Systemic changes in the school environment in the form of school climate initiatives take time to implement bringing about the change.
A bully is only a bully when a person allows themselves to be bullied. If the bully is stopped in his/her tracks at the onset there would be no more bullying going on.
Has been decades since I raised my four boys to stand on their own two feet and NOT take any crapola from anyone. They were instructed not to hit anyone but if hit permission was from me to hit back twice as hard and I would back them up at the deans office if necessary.
They were at times intimidated but held their ground and potential bullying was stopped in the bud. It can be done.
There will always be some that are bigger or stronger and as such will try to push others around if allowed to do so. Human nature at it's worse I suppose.
A bully is only a bully when a person allows themselves to be bullied. If the bully is stopped in his/her tracks at the onset there would be no more bullying going on.
Has been decades since I raised my four boys to stand on their own two feet and NOT take any crapola from anyone. They were instructed not to hit anyone but if hit permission was from me to hit back twice as hard and I would back them up at the deans office if necessary.
They were at times intimidated but held their ground and potential bullying was stopped in the bud. It can be done.
There will always be some that are bigger or stronger and as such will try to push others around if allowed to do so. Human nature at it's worse I suppose.
Look at past history...it speaks for itself.
Not everyone has an assertive personality that allows them to do that. A shy introverted kid is not likely to stand up for himself, even if he can. Bullies pick their victims for a reason. They pick on the ones they have the best chance of bullying successfully. Also, bullies don't always resort to physical means to bully, which is why this is such a HUGE problem.
The internet, facebook in particular and other networking sites, has brought bullying to a whole new level. A 12-year-old kid can't exactly stand up to his school chums, when those school chums are using the world wide web to post vile viscious things about him. A 12-year-old kid can only bring it to the attention of adults, who hopefully will have the means to put a stop to it. But once it's on the web, it's pretty hard to remove it because this kind of stuff spreads fast and if I remove Sue's website, chances are, Joe already has a copy of the post on his website. So I'd have to remove Joe's website too - but Jane, Andy, Cindy, and Amy all have copies of it already....and so on and so forth. Things go viral, and once it's out there, it's pretty much out there forever.
That's why bullying is SO much of a problem now, more than it ever was before. It's not just a kid pulling someone's ponytail in the playground anymore. What's going on now is ruining lives and destroying communities.
A bully is only a bully when a person allows themselves to be bullied. If the bully is stopped in his/her tracks at the onset there would be no more bullying going on.
Has been decades since I raised my four boys to stand on their own two feet and NOT take any crapola from anyone. They were instructed not to hit anyone but if hit permission was from me to hit back twice as hard and I would back them up at the deans office if necessary.
They were at times intimidated but held their ground and potential bullying was stopped in the bud. It can be done.
There will always be some that are bigger or stronger and as such will try to push others around if allowed to do so. Human nature at it's worse I suppose.
Look at past history...it speaks for itself.
That's true and I also think because you had 4 boys that your kids were better prepared to interact with other kids. In families where there are siblings and also many cousins, there is early push and pull, kids build up resistance from family members who tease them but also deep down love them. They are toughened up.
More and more kids are from one or two child families, they may have no cousins or no more than one or two. They have their own bedrooms, bathrooms, televisions and never have to interact much with one another.
Now kids go to school very sheltered, very protected - and are perfect candidates for bullying and so the schools feel they must get involved.
My kids are talking about anti-bullying programs where the kids are divided into small groups and told to discuss their problems and many of these kids break down crying. I asked mine what problems they discussed and they shrugged and said they didn't have any problems. I reminded them they have some things that could be viewed as problems but they said that's just the way it is, not problems. None has been bullied and I'm not sure what I think about the big emphasis on bullying and feelings and all in the schools.
Not everyone has an assertive personality that allows them to do that. A shy introverted kid is not likely to stand up for himself, even if he can. Bullies pick their victims for a reason. They pick on the ones they have the best chance of bullying successfully. Also, bullies don't always resort to physical means to bully, which is why this is such a HUGE problem.
The internet, facebook in particular and other networking sites, has brought bullying to a whole new level. A 12-year-old kid can't exactly stand up to his school chums, when those school chums are using the world wide web to post vile viscious things about him. A 12-year-old kid can only bring it to the attention of adults, who hopefully will have the means to put a stop to it. But once it's on the web, it's pretty hard to remove it because this kind of stuff spreads fast and if I remove Sue's website, chances are, Joe already has a copy of the post on his website. So I'd have to remove Joe's website too - but Jane, Andy, Cindy, and Amy all have copies of it already....and so on and so forth. Things go viral, and once it's out there, it's pretty much out there forever.
That's why bullying is SO much of a problem now, more than it ever was before. It's not just a kid pulling someone's ponytail in the playground anymore. What's going on now is ruining lives and destroying communities.
What I don't understand is why 12 year olds are on social internet groups in the first place. I can see having them communicate with family members and maybe some real life friends but that's it. They don't have to be on message boards with kids who would pick on them. And whatever happened to parents monitoring the use of computers and chat and social media? What's so hard in telling a child to turn the damned thing off?
A lot of kids will use the internet for gaming sites and searching information and never do the chats until older. It's still a parent's responsibility to monitor what is going on in the child's life and there's no reason for a computer to be in a child's room. If the computer is kept in a family room, the parent should certainly be able to see how the child is using it.
If the computer is kept in a family room, the parent should certainly be able to see how the child is using it.
Well sure, but unless you are reading over their shoulder you don't know exactly what's going on. Our computer is in the kitchen, anyone walking by can see the websites but knowing your kid is chatting with their friends on AIM, or playing a game with others, doesn't mean you know what words are being typed.
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