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Has anything you have read her lessened your anxiety or changed your viewpoint?
It seems to me to be a matter of values. I personally value nurturing and wanting a child to feel loved and well taken care of and well nourished. You seem to be more concerned with looks . . . in the U.S. there is a term called "lookism," which is how people are marginalized by the focus on looks . . .
To me it is a quality of life thing. She is only a child once . . . I would be savoring the time with her . . . enjoying her, trying to nurture her. I would feel terrible if I knew a child of mine was hungry. It just seems so cruel and heartless. I am sure you are not a cruel or heartless person, but your values may be a little distorted in this case, or if your entire country values thinness above all else . . . I honestly don't know what that could mean.
I think the reason she is eating so much is that the foods you cook are all low fat and she probably just needs something more substantial.
How about making her a nice bowl of whole grain oatmeal in the morning?
Foods like oatmeal curb hunger.
She gets that many times in the mornings.
The reason behind my OP was that, regardless of the type of foods she eats, she eats FAST, wants large portions, asks for seconds and is completely focused on the food in front of her and nothing else - as if there was no tomorrow.
Has anything you have read her lessened your anxiety or changed your viewpoint?
It seems to me to be a matter of values. I personally value nurturing and wanting a child to feel loved and well taken care of and well nourished. You seem to be more concerned with looks . . . in the U.S. there is a term called "lookism," which is how people are marginalized by the focus on looks . . .
To me it is a quality of life thing. She is only a child once . . . I would be savoring the time with her . . . enjoying her, trying to nurture her. I would feel terrible if I knew a child of mine was hungry. It just seems so cruel and heartless. I am sure you are not a cruel or heartless person, but your values may be a little distorted in this case, or if your entire country values thinness above all else . . . I honestly don't know what that could mean.
I agree with everything you said but I don't agree with your proposition that I am focused on looks. Did you read my previous posts?
I am focused on health about 100 times more than I am on looks - which would be pretty much not at all.
I completely agree that a child should receive all the nutrients she needs and very good, nurturing food. However, I don't agree with:
- turning food into comfort / giving the child any food they want and however much because it makes them feel good / fuzzy-warmy.
- shrugging off a very large appetite especially once it is exposed to junk foods.
Right now I am not at all concerned as I myself think she is perfectly fine with the weight she has. My concern was rather for the future when she will be increasingly exposed to not so good food. Again, her appetite and focus on food has been very high since birth, so we are not talking about "a stage".
That was what my OP was about - and definitely not obssession with looks.
It sounds like you came here with one perspective and after 11 pages of comments haven't changed your perspective at all.
Of course that is your perogative.
I completely disagree that food should not be comfort . . . (out of your fear of obesity) . . . good food is one of the pleasures of life, and for a child, love is associated with good food provided lovingly by one's mother or other parent . . .
You obviously don't believe in astrology, but to a Taurus, food is love and one of life's essential pleasures.
I predict that your daughter will have to struggle her way through food-wise, until she is old enough to provide for herself. Hopefully you will have healthy foods on hand that she will be free to eat or prepare for herself when she is older. She could be a gourmet for all you know. You have a certain ascetic quality related to food that she does not share.
Have you looked at your own nurturing as a child and your issues with food? Does your husband agree with your strict food regime?
I am sorry to be so blunt but you came on this board and asked and I feel compelled to advocate for your daughter, who I believe is being deprived of emotional nurturing via food.
The reason behind my OP was that, regardless of the type of foods she eats, she eats FAST, wants large portions, asks for seconds and is completely focused on the food in front of her and nothing else - as if there was no tomorrow.
Consider yourself lucky. One of my sister's sons will hardly eat anything. He's very picky and super skinny. He looks anemic with very pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. It's a big deal if he tries something new, even then he'll usually just take one bite.
When my children were the same age as your daughter, I was AMAZED at how much food they ate. They truly ate more food than me! They weren't overweight. They were GROWING. When you think of how little children are when they are born and how they grow before our eyes, you have to realize that they NEED food.
Making food a power struggle now will cause them to want to overeat when they aren't hungry later when their appetites slow down. If you simply provide her with enough health food to meet her appetite while she is growing and is hungry, she'll naturally slow down throughout the years. You're not feeding her junk food so you shouldn't worry about how much she's eating right now.
Put enough food on her plate the first time. Making a big deal about not wanting to give her seconds is going to cause problems. Anticipate an accurate amount of food to serve based on her wanting seconds---but both firsts and seconds on her plate at the very start. That way you'll eliminate the appearance of disapproving of her wanting more food when she asks for seconds. Because any negativity you associate with food will cause her eating problems later in life.
Keep in mind that children do associate food with love. Breast and bottle feeding is the most intimate moments a baby has with mother and father during the first year of life. As a result, it's perfectly normal for children to LOVE food when they are younger.
It sounds like the main problem is that she's eating FAST. There is nothing wrong with teaching her to slow down. It's the best thing you can teach her.
She should be eating her meals WITH you as a family, not eating her meals alone with you simply sitting there. Children should learn at an early age how to have family meals. My children never ate separately from us. Every meal was a family meal. Only snacks were not, but someone usually had a snack with them anyway. If they were having an apple, I'd usually sit at the table and eat an apple too.
Meals should be a pleasant experience that is mostly focused on socializing with family. Conversation is a big part of family meals. You can make meals fun by having discussions, playing games. Tell exciting stories to keep the focus on fun conversation, not the food. At your daughter's age, it would be perfectly appropriate to start reading a story to her while she eats. She's old enough that you can begin to let her 'help' with mealtime preparations by giving her a job, like helping set the table by being setting out placemats or napkins. You can let her 'help' make the salad, etc.
We taught our children table manners at an early age. They were to sit at the table until everyone was done eating---even if they were done eating. We were kind. It was just a rule. We would remind them that it was impolite to leave the table before everyone was done. When their friends at over (preschool aged) we would tell their friends, "At our house, everyone stays at the table until everyone is done." We would even tell them, "At our house, we eat with our mouths closed."
Teaching table manners at an early age has many benefits. It helps promote healthy eating habits It makes it easier to eat at restaurants because your children will stay at the table instead of running around the restaurant---like it seems so many children do these days.
Here is a medical site on how to promote healthy eating habits in children:
Consider yourself lucky. One of my sister's sons will hardly eat anything. He's very picky and super skinny. He looks anemic with very pale skin and dark circles under his eyes. It's a big deal if he tries something new, even then he'll usually just take one bite.
When my children were the same age as your daughter, I was AMAZED at how much food they ate. They truly ate more food than me! They weren't overweight. They were GROWING. When you think of how little children are when they are born and how they grow before our eyes, you have to realize that they NEED food.
Making food a power struggle now will cause them to want to overeat when they aren't hungry later when their appetites slow down. If you simply provide her with enough health food to meet her appetite while she is growing and is hungry, she'll naturally slow down throughout the years. You're not feeding her junk food so you shouldn't worry about how much she's eating right now.
Put enough food on her plate the first time. Making a big deal about not wanting to give her seconds is going to cause problems. Anticipate an accurate amount of food to serve based on her wanting seconds---but both firsts and seconds on her plate at the very start. That way you'll eliminate the appearance of disapproving of her wanting more food when she asks for seconds. Because any negativity you associate with food will cause her eating problems later in life.
Keep in mind that children do associate food with love. Breast and bottle feeding is the most intimate moments a baby has with mother and father during the first year of life. As a result, it's perfectly normal for children to LOVE food when they are younger.
It sounds like the main problem is that she's eating FAST. There is nothing wrong with teaching her to slow down. It's the best thing you can teach her.
She should be eating her meals WITH you as a family, not eating her meals alone with you simply sitting there. Children should learn at an early age how to have family meals. My children never ate separately from us. Every meal was a family meal. Only snacks were not, but someone usually had a snack with them anyway. If they were having an apple, I'd usually sit at the table and eat an apple too.
Meals should be a pleasant experience that is mostly focused on socializing with family. Conversation is a big part of family meals. You can make meals fun by having discussions, playing games. Tell exciting stories to keep the focus on fun conversation, not the food. At your daughter's age, it would be perfectly appropriate to start reading a story to her while she eats. She's old enough that you can begin to let her 'help' with mealtime preparations by giving her a job, like helping set the table by being setting out placemats or napkins. You can let her 'help' make the salad, etc.
We taught our children table manners at an early age. They were to sit at the table until everyone was done eating---even if they were done eating. We were kind. It was just a rule. We would remind them that it was impolite to leave the table before everyone was done. When their friends at over (preschool aged) we would tell their friends, "At our house, everyone stays at the table until everyone is done." We would even tell them, "At our house, we eat with our mouths closed."
Teaching table manners at an early age has many benefits. It helps promote healthy eating habits It makes it easier to eat at restaurants because your children will stay at the table instead of running around the restaurant---like it seems so many children do these days.
Here is a medical site on how to promote healthy eating habits in children:
100% agree with everything you said, especially about the part about socializing. As for conversations at the family table...my kids and I converse a lot, but I would invite you to convince my husband to become conversational at the table. I will pay you your weight in gold if you manage to do this. It is something we struggle with
as he is not at all a talkative person. That is something that surely bothers me; but all I can do is do my share.
Both of my kids are talkative and highly communicative, so I guess it works even with just one verbose parent.
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