Parents what if your adult child retaliates, hits you back (friend, mother)

[LVKim8]

Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol

I was spanked mainly by my father with a belt (though I have to say he was terrible at it, seems it was for the most part done out of frustration)in my early years until age 7 or 8. Though it wasn't too often but once in a while. Your point is?

I think there are certain traits that one is born with and not even spankings will erase them. In my case, one of them is the immediate instinct to fight back an opponent that hits me in any way (even if it was just a tap that didn't hurt). In other words retaliate. Apart from this I just simply have a temper at times, which can't be cured.

However, I'll try walking away if an argument presents itself again (my mother is main instigator), lock the door and see how she likes it.... LOL

If you do choose to get counseling you'll probably find out just how much your so-called traits are actually the result of your early years. Hitting a young child with a belt is traumatizing enough to the nervous system, hence the instinct to fight back. Good luck, I hope you get some help soon.

[saywha]

The whole situation sounds childish and immature.......grow up! And that's coming for a 22 year old! BTW, I was hit with a belt when my actions called for it. And today, my parents are my best friends, they balanced the line between parent and friend flawlessly.

[Sunflower_lol]

Originally Posted by saywha

The whole situation sounds childish and immature.......grow up! And that's coming for a 22 year old! BTW, I was hit with a belt when my actions called for it. And today, my parents are my best friends, they balanced the line between parent and friend flawlessly.

You have the age number incorrect, it's 23 not 22 (will be turning 24 by April).

Everything is all solved by now but if it makes you feel better adding sarcasm then it's okay, no problem.

[saywha]

Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol

You have the age number incorrect, it's 23 not 22 (will be turning 24 by April).

Everything is all solved by now but if it makes you feel better adding sarcasm then it's okay, no problem.

No sunflower, I was referring to my age. I am 22.

[Sunflower_lol]

Originally Posted by saywha

No sunflower, I was referring to my age. I am 22.

OK it makes sense now. I guess one little misspelling such as putting for instead of from can at times change the meaning.
Thanks for the explanation.

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by Sunflower_lol

This is something I'm obviously not proud of but it can't be undo.

Over the years (I'm 23 now) there has been 3 altercations with my mother, in which I hit her back. Knowing I could have applied more physical force, it was left as slapping and shoving. The latest argument with her happened on the 18th of this month, 4 years later after the first 2 confrontations.

Last year there was once an overheated argument with my father as well, in which I said ''If you hit me, I'll hit ya back'' then he was like ''I'll damn send you to a mental hospital''. Towards the end of the argument I was saying something like ''I'll kill ya (what I really meant to say is ''I'll really mess you up good or I'll ruin you'').

Obviously my behavior was atrocious/unexcusable and she's still not quite over it. Is there a mending to this?
I'm trying to remind myself that no matter they're my parents. Has anyone of you ever dealt with this or hit back one of your parents (or threatened)?

Or I'm I a monster created as she has told my father today? However, I'm really not the instigator of arguments. Is this bond to occur between explosive arguments even with one's parents?

It's called assault. It's against the law. I'd have called the police so damn fast it would have made your head swim. If your parents are old enough, it's also called elder abuse.

Are you looking for justification here? You know you are wrong.

I'd consider getting professional help, if I were you. Next time you parents might have you thrown in the slammer, at it would serve you right if they did.

20yrsinBranson

[GloryB]

If you are willing to live under their roof and eat their food while you save your own paychecks.....then you should be willing to live under the same rules as you did while you were growing up. If you don't like their rules or want to live up to their expectations or feel it is your responsibility to show them respect....then be a real adult and get your own place.

It is THEIR home. Hitting a parent, other than in self defense of real abuse, is not acceptable. Ever.

[Trell B]

I am in the same situation, i'm 28, black male, and was forced to move back home with a narcissist mother who manipulates a narcissist father who sides with her. They have a low opinion of me. I work a minimum wage job (Its all that is left in the Detroit metro area). I tried to Join the army, but that fell flat once the found out had health issues I myself didn't know i had. Well anyway, i moved back home because Target called me right after i was fired from Walmart and ended up homeless. (Target is literally at my back door.).

So anyway, she ends up in the hospital, blah blah blah, long story short, and tells me since i'm working at Target, it would make sense to move back home instead of walking all the way back to Royal oak/troy.

A/N:I left Michigan in June 2008 due to the same **** i'm dealing with now.

Anyway so i move back....it was ok at first, but then she and papa started in saying how much of a failure i am, how i did her wrong, I'll never amount to anything. It gets progressively worse from then on out. Slowly she imposes her will on me. I used to go out a lot but now that she trows that up in my face, to please her, i stopped going out, other than to work. Then she flips, saying i don't do anything, i don't sleep around with girls, i don't do this that. Dad chimes in saying i should go out and get a retarded girl pregnant and move in with her. So i just stay in my bedroom when she's at work, or go to the library or mickey d's for wifi (Note: Parents HAVE wireless Internet.) Dad rarely bothers me unless that witch is around.

They flips the script again, saying i don't deserve a woman, i'm unworthy of love, blah blah blah. Dont have Children. Im abusive, empty, arrogant, smart mouthed and cocky. I cannot defend myself because its HER house and MY feelings dont matter. She dosent give a ****.

It has progressed to her saying she's angry because i cannot find a decent paying job paying over 15,000 a month to pay over 1200 in monthly rent. I tried to explain im trying to find a second job, and said all the good paying jobs have been outsourced and she told me to shut the **** up, raising her hand to slap me. She has ordered me to give her all of my paycheck to her and i get only a few back, (Just like LAST time)

She tells me what to do with my hair (Wants it cut on her whim.) I say it can wait....you took all my money. She flips out.

I cannot save to get the hell away from them. I am trapped. I dont know what to do. Im afraid i may end up hurting the both of them if im provoked enough. I have to leave, but shelters do not take working homeless in Michigan. I have no one to turn to.

Please tell me WHAT to do?

[Pitt Chick]

Unfortunately, if you hit me repeatedly and threatened to kill me, you'd - at the very least - be out the door and I'd file a PFA.

[no kudzu]

pitt-it was the OP ( 3 years ago) who said she threatened to kill her parents-not this new guy who just hates living at home.