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What is a reasonable time for a teenager's guests to leave? My teen has an 11:30 curfew on weekends, and we discuss what time she should be home on weeknights, depending on what she's doing. When she has friends or her boyfriend over, should we stick to the same time on weekends as a "time to go home now" time? What about during the week? Tonight she had her boyfriend over until 9:45 or so, and I started getting antsy around 9:00, but did not want to be unreasonable. What do you think? I'm going to chat with her tomororw and try to set some guidelines.
I never allowed friends over during the week, unless it was to work on school assignments, and then the work dictated how long anyone stayed.
How old is your daughter? Are her friends driving? My sons and their friends all had curfews and they all had to be home by 12:30 or so. Before they got licenses, pick up times were dictated by the other parents, and were usually earlier. I'm a late owl anyway, so it never bothered me if I was up late because kids were over. Now, kids are much more likely just to crash in our basement than drive home late.
I think during the week, 9 pm is more than adequate - barring special circumstances (working on a project etc). Weekends....I never really cared how late same-sex friends stayed here. BF/GF...that's another issue all together since (IMO anyway) some level of supervision is needed...
I would say 9 or 10 on school nights. I don't care how late kids stay on the weekends but they usually leave by midnight. This is really an area where your needs should rule. If you want to go to sleep by 10 then have the BF out by 9.
She's actually our exchange student and not my daughter. She'll be 17 next month, and yes, most of her friends drive. My own kids are young and go to bed by 9:00, so I think I'm going to tell her that BF needs to leave by 9:00. I don't have my own teenagers and I didn't want to be unreasonable... sometimes I'm surprised by what's the norm among teens now. Thanks!
fwiw, when i lived overseas, teenagers were rarely back in the nest by 11pm on "school nights." so she may have no idea she is acting outside of what you would like to see.
What is a reasonable time for a teenager's guests to leave? My teen has an 11:30 curfew on weekends, and we discuss what time she should be home on weeknights, depending on what she's doing. When she has friends or her boyfriend over, should we stick to the same time on weekends as a "time to go home now" time? What about during the week? Tonight she had her boyfriend over until 9:45 or so, and I started getting antsy around 9:00, but did not want to be unreasonable. What do you think? I'm going to chat with her tomororw and try to set some guidelines.
I would just tell her that during the weekends longer is find, but during the week the cut off is 9 p.m.
I never cared when my children's same-sex friends came and went from our house. My children knew their friends could sleep over without needing to ask for permission. Boyfriends/girlfriends had to leave when the last parent was going to bed.
I think 9pm is too early for a 17 year old. In less than a year, she will be an adult. Girlfriends should be able to stay after you go to bed, but boyfriends need supervision so your bedtime should dictate when boyfriends leave.
IMO, the age of the teen has no bearing on the 9 pm thing though...during the week, presumably, there are other members of the household who have work/school the following day. It's simply courtesy for the rest of the household. By 9, I may want to be in my pajamas downstairs having a cup of tea or folding laundry. Younger children may be getting ready for bed. As an adult, I wouldn't generally be having guests in my home past 9 during the week either. I also don't think people should be phoning after 9..same thing. At some point, you should be able to relax, uninterrupted in your own home, walking around in pajamas or a robe or whatever, knowing everyone is gone, doors are locked etc.
IMO, the age of the teen has no bearing on the 9 pm thing though...during the week, presumably, there are other members of the household who have work/school the following day. It's simply courtesy for the rest of the household. By 9, I may want to be in my pajamas downstairs having a cup of tea or folding laundry. Younger children may be getting ready for bed. As an adult, I wouldn't generally be having guests in my home past 9 during the week either. I also don't think people should be phoning after 9..same thing. At some point, you should be able to relax, uninterrupted in your own home, walking around in pajamas or a robe or whatever, knowing everyone is gone, doors are locked etc.
I fully agree with this. 9:00 on a weeknight seems perfectly reasonable, not because of her age but because the rest of the family has to get to bed, and it's nice to have some relaxing family time.
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She'll be 17 next month, and yes, most of her friends drive. My own kids are young and go to bed by 9:00, so I think I'm going to tell her that BF needs to leave by 9:00. I don't have my own teenagers and I didn't want to be unreasonable... sometimes I'm surprised by what's the norm among teens now. Thanks! 
