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Going back to the time when I was a teen and the mother of the girl I was having sex with for the first time walked in...The mum just turned and walked away and never mentioned a thing.. My kids are grown but if I had found one of them having sex- I would have done the same thing- Just walked away...What are you supposed to do- cause a huge scene- make it appear that the young person has committed the worst sin imaginable?
It's going to happen- but if the kids are too young- I would do what my mother did...She walked in on my sister and took the long haired jerk by his hair and dragged him out of the bed room- into the living room and swung the guy around by the hair like a rag doll..a fight ensued and she won...tossing the guy out the door..GOOD for dear mum- The guy in later life caused the suicide of his young wife...
It was not so much about the sex but WHO you are having sex with- Parents are in charge of evaluating the character of the young lover...Last thing you want your daughter or son to have is- an experience that will form them in the future..that is with someone - if given the decision you would NEVER want them to marry...Parents should be like their great grandparents were- who in essence arranged marriages and who's wise approval was important.
Don't be some modern parent who take vicarious glee in the idea that your kid is going through some needed right of passage - having sex with any jerk that comes along.
I am curious for the people advocating physical voilence against a boy with whom your daughter is having sex. Why are you advocating perpetuating the violence against the boy when your responsibility is for the behavior of your DAUGHTER not that of someone else' son. And would you also perpetuate violence against a girl with whom your son was having sex?
Well that's different, but regardless it's still illegal. Most people in this post talking about kids are not referring to a situation like that i'm sure. And how do you know what your daughters are? Basically what your kids do in that department is nothing you know or would most likely to be privy to as well.
Because my children have been raised by a mother who has taught them what is right and wrong, and I have told them they can come to me with anything and I would not judge them. I was r***d, and s*******d at age 29, and I do not want them to go thru any of that. As far as threatening, I have never hit my kids or anyone elses....I could never go to my mother with any sexual questions, so I wanted different for them. My kids have all signed purity pacts, and they have held their ground. I am proud of that! The V card is something that can only be given once..
Because my children have been raised by a mother who has taught them what is right and wrong,
Like threatening people with baseball bat beatings? That is some pretty strange right and wrong.
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and I have told them they can come to me with anything and I would not judge them. I was r***d, and s*******d at age 29,
These are quoted out. I am guessing that it means you were sexually assaulted in a gruesome way? I am sorry that that happened to you. I know that that is a very difficult thing to go through. It has absolutely nothing to do with teenaged consensual sex, though.
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and I do not want them to go thru any of that. As far as threatening, I have never hit my kids or anyone elses....I could never go to my mother with any sexual questions, so I wanted different for them. My kids have all signed purity pacts, and they have held their ground. I am proud of that! The V card is something that can only be given once..
The V card is virginity. Consensual sex is one thing....but really, these kids in middle school are having sex. (NOT MINE) and bragging about it. Can they really know what they want at 12, 13 or 15? We all dealt with raging hormones. And as far as the baseball bat thing, you had to be there. MY HUSBAND had just been KILLED at work by a co-worker. I had ALOT to deal with. Her BF knew I would never touch him.
I will never understand the value some people put on virginity. I would shoot myself if my daughter ever married a cave man who held her in esteem over virginity.
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Consensual sex is one thing....but really, these kids in middle school are having sex. (NOT MINE) and bragging about it. Can they really know what they want at 12, 13 or 15? We all dealt with raging hormones. And as far as the baseball bat thing, you had to be there. MY HUSBAND had just been KILLED at work by a co-worker. I had ALOT to deal with. Her BF knew I would never touch him.
Upthread you suggested threatening a boy with a baseball bat as a means of protecting your daughters "virtue" as a good thing. Which is it? A ****ty thing you did for which you feel bad? Or the right way?
I think there are a lot of peopel in the world with mixed up ideas of "virtue" and right and wrong.
I think, for the most part, we all believe we have done or are doing, the best we can, to instill the values & morals in our kids, that we would like them to have.
I hope & pray that when my children are 16, that they are far too busy with school , friends, activities , and still being a kid, to think about having sex.....
I didn't, my friends weren't doing it and no one disliked us for it.
If we teach our kids to have confidence, to stand up for what they believe in , hopefully they will not feel that pressure to give in at such a young age.
Someone posted earlier in the thread that we are all sexual beings, while this is true and 16 yr olds are certainly at a vulnerable age, we shoukdn't be justifying them having sex at that age. Physically they can have sex, we get it. How about the emotions involved afterwards? especially for the girls? I just don't think 16 yr olds are prepared for the aftermath. Chances are, that person they just had sex with, isn't sticking around for long.
I think, for the most part, we all believe we have done or are doing, the best we can, to instill the values & morals in our kids, that we would like them to have.
I hope & pray that when my children are 16, that they are far too busy with school , friends, activities , and still being a kid, to think about having sex.....
I didn't, my friends weren't doing it and no one disliked us for it.
If we teach our kids to have confidence, to stand up for what they believe in , hopefully they will not feel that pressure to give in at such a young age.
Someone posted earlier in the thread that we are all sexual beings, while this is true and 16 yr olds are certainly at a vulnerable age, we shoukdn't be justifying them having sex at that age. Physically they can have sex, we get it. How about the emotions involved afterwards? especially for the girls? I just don't think 16 yr olds are prepared for the aftermath. Chances are, that person they just had sex with, isn't sticking around for long.
Someone posted earlier in the thread that we are all sexual beings, while this is true and 16 yr olds are certainly at a vulnerable age, we shoukdn't be justifying them having sex at that age.
I am not suggesting justifying it. I am suggesting that, depending on the matuity of the person, it might be actually justified.
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Physically they can have sex, we get it. How about the emotions involved afterwards? especially for the girls? I just don't think 16 yr olds are prepared for the aftermath. Chances are, that person they just had sex with, isn't sticking around for long.
That is all part of the education that is sex education for a young person. But I think people over state to the horror of what happens if a person has sex and then maybe GASP doesn't marry that person.
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