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And whoever said I can't expect freedom while living under someone elses roof, I could have just found a job where I had it. I took this one because they were so lenient.
A 20 page rule book....the pay better be damn good then
I would want a lot of money for my personal life to be controlled by an employer.
If you are living under their roof, they have the right to expect certain behaviors. It is their home. They are being upfront about what they expect. It's perfectly reasonable. If they represented one thing then actually expected something totally different that would be another story. Also, if the nanny was not living in, it would also be different. You have a right to dictate what goes on in your home - just as you have the right to turn down the job if it doesn't meet your qualifications.
If you are living under their roof, they have the right to expect certain behaviors. It is their home. They are being upfront about what they expect. It's perfectly reasonable. If they represented one thing then actually expected something totally different that would be another story. Also, if the nanny was not living in, it would also be different. You have a right to dictate what goes on in your home - just as you have the right to turn down the job if it doesn't meet your qualifications.
And I would have turned it down if I thought it was being unreasonable.
And if things changed and they started getting unreasonable about personal time activities or curfew. I would consider just working for them as a live out but I don't foresee that happening.
started getting unreasonable about personal time activities or curfew.
The point was however, that WRT "personal time activities" - if those activities are taking place in their home, it is not unreasonable for them to set rules.
CJ you wouldnt happen to still have a contract you could show us for kicks and giggles do you?
I will look, but I doubt that I have the contract. I no longer have the computer that the contract was on (I gave it to my son and he took it apart and sold the parts on E-bay.).
As far as how many nannies we went through, I do not remember. It was not a long time period becuase we got fed up and my wife finally decided to stay home, I think after three years or less, it certainly was not longer than 4 years and probably less than 3. Some, like the drunk lady with multiple identities who stole the car and some checks, were only with us a few days. Another only lasted a week or so. The first one got fired. the next was with us for about four to eight months and then decided to go to fireman school and try out for olympic rowing. Two others decided to return to school full time after about a year, give or take. I cannot remember very well.
Some of the people that we interviewed were amazing. There are a lot of psychos out there working as Nannies. Quite a few of the interviewees were just obviously nuts. Several of them refused to allow the FBI background check, so we did not consider them. Some wanted to be paid more than my wife was making as an accountant for a construction company. Some were too frail to even lift one of the babies, let alone two. Some of the nannies we hired were just young gals who did not know what they wanted to do so, they took on an advanced form of babysitting to give them a place to live until they figured it out. Some were great candidates (some of whom we hired and some found better paying posisitions before we hired them). Oddly, not one of them left to be a nanny somewhere else, although we do not know what happened to the three who we had to fire. The gal with the lighter was actually a pretty good nanny. She was just not too bright. She was really pretty so I am not sure my wife liked having her around. Her freinds told her she was nuts letting a gal that pretty live in our house. (My wife is very pretty too, but apparently her friends thought that this gal was just too stunning to tolerate - I never thought she was all that hot, pretty yes, but not overwhelmingly so.).
The best nanny was from Sierra Leone. She upset my wife at first because she followed me everywhere that I went when I was home. It turned out that in Sierra Leone women do not trust men around children. In their culture, men are supposed to be watched at all times when they are around children. My wife thoguht that she had a crush on me and therefore followed me everyhere when I was a thome. It made her really mad. When that was resolved, she was perfect but for her affinity for ox tail soup. She left to go back to school, but she stayed nearby and came back for a while when we had to fire the drunk nanny.
When we ran an ad in the paper, we would get dozens of calls, we interviewed at least a half dozen people each time but only ended up with one to three viable candidates.
It was awful for my wife to have to pay someone and then come home and hear them complain about doing what she was dying to do (stay home and look after her babies). Finally we just bit the bullet and she quit. It was very hard for a time, but we adjusted after a while.
I had a nanny once, and pretty much just depended on her to use her own judgement. I did not have a bunch of rules. She was older, and had a child of her own, so that is completely different. Also, because I was gone, out of town travelling when I had a nanny, she could have broken all the "rules". How would I have known? She was great, and I appreciated her help so much. Some of the things..I was not too happy with...one thing that really needs to be discussed is discipline. She believed in spanking kids...and once spanked my older one...I talked to her about it, and to her, it was not a big deal. I told her that was not okay, and to simply have time out. She was "old school". She also made them eat all of their food, whether they liked it or not. She worked for us for about 5 years, and we had about 3 "come to Jesus" meetings during that time...the kids still talk about her, and we exchange cards at Christmas. I was lucky to have found someone who was really a gem. Now, many of you would have fired her after the spanking...but I felt like that was an isolated event..shucks..with four kids, 2 screaming, fixing dinner for everyone, and one just starts playing ball in the kitchen, and did not stop when asked twice...Maybe I would have done it too...
The best thing about her, was how flexible she was, and dependable. She was worth every penny, and more. She was from England. And I was blessed. Finding someone who will take care of four kids, for three or four days at a time, and be 100% responsible for those kids, because I was travelling for work. She took care of them with the flu, picked them up from school sick. One thing though, she did smoke. But you know what? So what? She smoked, she spanked my older one one time...in the end, she loved my kids, and I could trust her with them no matter what. And that is the one thing that counts..more than anything else.
Last edited by jasper12; 12-08-2010 at 03:30 PM..
Reason: edit.
This family lets a guy they barely know sleep in their house with their children? I'm sorry this is a prime setting for a Lifetime movie.
They've known my male friend, we'll call him C the whole time they have known me.
He is here all the time, helps fix things around the house with the husband, he spends time here at night when they go out at night for dinner.
He goes places with me and the kids to give me an extra hand.
He comes over for dinner.
They know, like and trust C.
And like me he is going into law enforcement as well. So its not like they barely know him.
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