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Old 12-09-2010, 05:00 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,857,289 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
Our house is fairly open. There are often kids who are at our house before or after school. You may have read in other threads of mine that we are pretty strict especially when it comes to behaviour and it seems that the kids when they are at our place suddenly learn manners.

Recently my wife asked me if I had taken some money our of her purse and I said no. She said that she thinks someone is steeling from her purse. Not trivial amounts. $50 notes.

So she decides to take all the big notes out of her purse and just leave a $5 note. This morning she rings me at work and tells me that she noticed one kid spending more time than would expect in the kitchen. One of our kids came and asked for some help with something so she went out with our kid. went down the hall. Slipped off her shoes and ran back into the kitchen and theer was the young lad (~10yo) with the purse open and his hand in it. He ran off into the bath room.

Eventually he came out and apparantly confessed in tears. Then went back into the bath room and retrieved the $5 from where had put it in the dirty clothes basket.

The kid was apparantly in tears because he is going to "get a belting". Well given that we are full supporters of corporal punishment we think that that is probably a good thing. Unless of course it means beating him to a pulp which I do confess is a real concern of mine as I do not know the family.

Now the complications begin. First of all he is black and we are white. He is a refugee from Africa and we assume not well off. We on the other hand are pretty well off. So what we don't want to is to have any kind of impression of the rich white family doing wrong by the poor black family.

Next is that we do not have a parents phone number and he would not give us the phone number.

we think he has stolen over $200 and there is no way he is going to ever be able to repay that.

So what to do.?

My wife let him go off with the rest of the group who walk to school and he went with them and we assume he has gone to school

The only thing we have decided is that we are not going to report him to the police.

What are your thoughts?
I would call his parents.
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Old 12-09-2010, 05:45 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,852,082 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by aidxen View Post
Our house is fairly open. There are often kids who are at our house before or after school. You may have read in other threads of mine that we are pretty strict especially when it comes to behaviour and it seems that the kids when they are at our place suddenly learn manners.

Recently my wife asked me if I had taken some money our of her purse and I said no. She said that she thinks someone is steeling from her purse. Not trivial amounts. $50 notes.

So she decides to take all the big notes out of her purse and just leave a $5 note. This morning she rings me at work and tells me that she noticed one kid spending more time than would expect in the kitchen. One of our kids came and asked for some help with something so she went out with our kid. went down the hall. Slipped off her shoes and ran back into the kitchen and theer was the young lad (~10yo) with the purse open and his hand in it. He ran off into the bath room.

Eventually he came out and apparantly confessed in tears. Then went back into the bath room and retrieved the $5 from where had put it in the dirty clothes basket.

The kid was apparantly in tears because he is going to "get a belting". Well given that we are full supporters of corporal punishment we think that that is probably a good thing. Unless of course it means beating him to a pulp which I do confess is a real concern of mine as I do not know the family.

Now the complications begin. First of all he is black and we are white. He is a refugee from Africa and we assume not well off. We on the other hand are pretty well off. So what we don't want to is to have any kind of impression of the rich white family doing wrong by the poor black family.

Next is that we do not have a parents phone number and he would not give us the phone number.

we think he has stolen over $200 and there is no way he is going to ever be able to repay that.

So what to do.?

My wife let him go off with the rest of the group who walk to school and he went with them and we assume he has gone to school

The only thing we have decided is that we are not going to report him to the police.

What are your thoughts?

Contact the school to find out his parents number.
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Old 12-09-2010, 05:48 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,852,082 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by ohiogirl22 View Post
Wow while I was reading thought this I really couldn't get past the fact that the movies cost under $10 where you live.

Movies on average cost 7.50 a ticket in America Ohio
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Old 12-09-2010, 05:56 AM
 
11,642 posts, read 23,857,289 times
Reputation: 12273
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Movies on average cost 7.50 a ticket in America Ohio
$10 for adults, $6.50 for kids in the Fort Lauderdale area.
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Old 12-09-2010, 06:01 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,852,082 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
$10 for adults, $6.50 for kids in the Fort Lauderdale area.
I said average so
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Old 12-09-2010, 08:28 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,088,332 times
Reputation: 32578
Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
I think I would take a different approach. If I thought the kid was sincere in being regretful (some kids will stare you in the eye after getting busted and not give a hoot) You could give him the option of working off the debt. These types of situations always break my heart. Maybe his home life is terrible and he was taking money for things he needed or maybe he is just a punk in the making. If I liked the kid and thought he just needed some guidance I would give him the option of working off the debt or not coming around anymore. If he choses to work off the debt that might be a good sign of him being regretful and wanting to earn your respect. Of course, hide the purse if he does stick around. Trust needs to be built.
Great post!

Sit him down and explain that he can work it off by doing odd jobs around the house. Washing windows, floors, the cars, whatever. Let him know that he's lucky you caught him and not a store or authority that would have thrown him in the hoosgow.

If he says, "No way" I'd never let him darken my door again. Ask the other kids how his home life is to get a read on telling his parents.
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Old 12-09-2010, 08:32 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,852,082 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Great post!

Sit him down and explain that he can work it off by doing odd jobs around the house. Washing windows, floors, the cars, whatever. Let him know that he's lucky you caught him and not a store or authority that would have thrown him in the hoosgow.

If he says, "No way" I'd never let him darken my door again. Ask the other kids how his home life is to get a read on telling his parents.
Whats the hoosgow?
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Old 12-09-2010, 08:34 AM
 
13,979 posts, read 25,889,429 times
Reputation: 39902
I doubt the school would divulge personal information.

I wouldn't call. We had a similar situation years back. A little boy spread nails on the street and driveway apron of a neighbor's house, destroying two tires. He admitted it, but got hysterical when the homeowner tried to walk him home to speak with his father. He said his father would beat him, and since we knew the family, nobody doubted it. We stood around trying to decide what to do, and not one of us thought it was worth what might happen to that little boy to involve the parents.

The parents should have the right to know, but unless you know the boy will not be severely punished, (and it's possible he was stealing out of genuine need, right?), I would require him to work it off, or stay away from my home.
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Old 12-09-2010, 08:39 AM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,088,332 times
Reputation: 32578
Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Whats the hoosgow?
Cell, clink, joint, lock-up, inside, pen, pound, prison, jail.
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Old 12-09-2010, 08:41 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,852,082 times
Reputation: 1740
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I doubt the school would divulge personal information.

I wouldn't call. We had a similar situation years back. A little boy spread nails on the street and driveway apron of a neighbor's house, destroying two tires. He admitted it, but got hysterical when the homeowner tried to walk him home to speak with his father. He said his father would beat him, and since we knew the family, nobody doubted it. We stood around trying to decide what to do, and not one of us thought it was worth what might happen to that little boy to involve the parents.

The parents should have the right to know, but unless you know the boy will not be severely punished, (and it's possible he was stealing out of genuine need, right?), I would require him to work it off, or stay away from my home.
Unless you know the parent will beat the child i think they still have the right to know.
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