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Old 12-09-2010, 11:42 AM
 
419 posts, read 866,630 times
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My MIL is old school. When she's alone with my 6 year old, she says some odd things (IMHO). The latest is that she called my kid "the devil's child" when she didn't want to help out with the dish washing. My kid came to me and believes what grandma says is true. I told her that grandma didn't mean it, but my kid wasn't buying it. Should I have a talk with my MIL or let it go? I'm torn, since I'm so tired of confrontations with her.
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Old 12-09-2010, 11:43 AM
 
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I'd just stop letting my children be alone with her.
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Old 12-09-2010, 11:50 AM
 
419 posts, read 866,630 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I'd just stop letting my children be alone with her.
Sometimes I wish I could, but hubby thinks his mom is harmless and needs to spend time with her grandkid. I tried inviting her over to my house to visit, but she insists on me dropping the kid off at her house. Other than these oddball remarks she makes, my kid enjoys (for the most part) spending time with grandma.
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Old 12-09-2010, 11:53 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,722,952 times
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Sounds like your biggest problem is your husband.

If I were in your situation, I would overrule hubby. My husband and MIL wouldn't call the shots when weird things are being said.

I'd insist she spend time with the childen at my house. She doesn't get to insist anything. She's not the parent, you are.
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:09 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 3,741,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaida View Post
My MIL is old school. When she's alone with my 6 year old, she says some odd things (IMHO). The latest is that she called my kid "the devil's child" when she didn't want to help out with the dish washing. My kid came to me and believes what grandma says is true. I told her that grandma didn't mean it, but my kid wasn't buying it. Should I have a talk with my MIL or let it go? I'm torn, since I'm so tired of confrontations with her.
You should confront your husband on his mothers behaviour. It is his responsibilty to correct it. I would not bring my child around my mil until the problem was rectified. Your husband needs to make her understand that there are better ways to get your child to partake in activities without immature name calling.
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:14 PM
 
175 posts, read 748,877 times
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no offense but if "the devil's child" is the worst thing that your kid is ever going to be called then I would consider your self lucky.

Sounds to me like you have a very sensitive kid, which isn't always a bad thing, but she does need to develop a thicker skin. What's she going to do when kids at school tell her she colors scribble scrabble or a teacher tells her, her hand writing looks like chicken scratch. Those are also harmless remarks too. However, I bet she will take them personally at this point. I would focus more on helping your daughter understand remarks like this instead of confronting grandma about this particular situation.
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:20 PM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,085 posts, read 63,455,214 times
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What do you mean, "she insists that I drop the kid off at her house?" You can either nip this in the bud and decide who's in charge of your child, or let her continue to steam roll you forever.

I would say "Mom (or whatever you call her), I'm not comfortable when you say things like little Tiffany is 'the devil's child', because she takes the things you say very literally." I would let it go one time, but if it happens again you should tell her the visits will stop unless she cleans up her act.
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:26 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,966 posts, read 6,845,813 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Sounds like your biggest problem is your husband.

If I were in your situation, I would overrule hubby. My husband and MIL wouldn't call the shots when weird things are being said.

I'd insist she spend time with the childen at my house. She doesn't get to insist anything. She's not the parent, you are.

Indeed!
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:28 PM
 
32,516 posts, read 37,042,199 times
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What's Grandma's tone of voice when she says these things? Are they colloquialisms that she uses because of her age/race/ethnicity/regionalism? Or is she yelling at the child and telling him he comes from evil? Big difference.

Do your "other confrontations" run along the lines of things she says or does she just plain-old get on your last nerve in general?
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:51 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,499 posts, read 53,850,010 times
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calling a kid "devil's child" can really traumatize a kid depending on what is being taught in the way of religion. Some emphasize hell and the devil and being called that could do some real harm. I don't think Mom is too sensitive. I sure wouldn't let ANYBODY much less the mother call my kid that and get away with it.
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