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Old 12-21-2010, 04:32 PM
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i went crazy trying to potty train our son. i felt like he was behind all the other kids because of the "appropriate" age etc. i decided not to worry about how old he is and when he does things when he is "supposed" to. i would worry if he was 5 or 6 and STILL not potty trained. but he finally got the hang of it at 4. i still use pull ups at night and nap time because i dont want to have to change sheets every day. he mostly wakes up dry--maybe once or twice a week if he's had something to drink before bed, he will be a bit wet. he has woken up in the middle of the night to tell me he is wet--too late, but at least he doesnt just sleep in it. but my son hates to be dirty so he wont just not tell me.
insentives have never really worked with my son. the only thing that has worked is to let him mature to each level of new growth in his life.
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Old 12-21-2010, 04:43 PM
Location: Australia
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She is three.
Many three year olds have accidents.
I would put her in pullups until summer and deal with it then when kids have less clothing and its easier for them to pull off their clothes to go to the toilet.
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Old 12-21-2010, 04:50 PM
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Originally Posted by mamamarie View Post
My daughter is the 2nd child and is the stereo-typical 2nd child. She is strong-willed, silly, demanding, immature, and mischievous- all of that. She has been "pretty much" potty-trained for a good 6 months now but still has to wear a pull-up to bed and nap. She is constantly peeing in her underwear a little and not saying anything about it. The last few days she has completely peed her pants (soaking through her jeans) and doesn't even say anything. When we ask her if she has peed her pants she smiles and laughs. (This is very typical of her- she always laughs when she knows she has done something she shouldn't have.) I don't know what to do. I feel like she is not making any progress. She pees in her pull-up at night, gets up in the morning and changes into underwear but pees in that. We make her go to the bathroom several times a day but every time she goes her underwear is wet. It is like she doesn't even realize that she has gone or is too lazy to want to go to the bathroom. She is very immature (at least I think she is compared to how my first was and how my friend's 3 year old is). Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions. Stickers, candy, privileges taken away...none of that works.

I have a 2nd boy, same age, same thing except he prefers to #2 in his pants.
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Old 12-21-2010, 04:51 PM
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Originally Posted by isisthea View Post
You say nothing works but that's because you haven't found her true currency. What does she love to do more than anything else?

Breathe. LMAO
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Old 12-21-2010, 05:10 PM
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You've had a lot of suggestions, but I agree that there is either an underlying medical condition or a control issue going on.

Both of my children wore pull-ups at night but were daytime trained. My 2nd, also a girl, was day time trained at 2 1/2 but wore pull ups until just past 4, when she was consistantly dry at night. She nor her brother have gone through what you are describing so I doubt it is the pull ups.

Here is another idea: everytime she wets, make her wash out her clothes in the sink (show her how). Stop everything else and put her in the tub for 30 minutes. Then she has to get dressed in clean clothes. Or put her to bed right then and there for the rest of the day.

MAKE IT INCONVENIENT AND DIFFICULT for her when she wets and she may stop.
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Old 12-22-2010, 09:04 AM
Location: Charlotte, NC
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If you see it solely as "how things are" rather than misbehavior, she will stop when she's ready. If you make into more of a control issue (making her go to bed, etc.), the struggle will last even longer. Or, she'll stop peeing her pants but will exert her control in other, perhaps more harmful, ways. First - make sure there's not a medical issue. Then, let her know that until she stops peeing her pants, it's back to diapers. Let her use pull-ups, no child has been irreparably harmed by using them. They're tons easier to change than regular diapers.

It seems you have decided when she should be ready to stop using diapers, but if you let go of that, and let her use them until she's really, truly ready, there won't be a control issue going on. If she doesn't want to use diapers, I do agree with *helping her* (not "making" her) wash out her pants & undies, then changing. No need to make a big deal out of it, or shame her for it, just: Oh, OK, when you wet your pants, WE need to clean them. She'll grow out of it in her own time.
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Old 12-22-2010, 09:10 AM
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I disagree that making her go to bed or whatever makes it "into more of a conrol issue".

She has been "pretty much" potty trained for 6 months, according to the OP, meaning that she has been physically and emotionally ready to be potty trained for that amount of time.

The OP has every reasonable right to expect her DD to be "ready to stop using diapers" at the age of 3 years and 9 months...there is no reason why, except for perhaps an undiagnosed medical problem, that the child should not be wearing underwear during the daytime and staying dry.

Leaving it up to the child to decide when they are ready may work for some children, but for most children, letting go of that diaper and using a potty is a scary thing, and if you left it to them, it could be a long time before they transitioned.
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Old 12-22-2010, 09:46 AM
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My 3.5 y/o is getting better at telling me she has to go, but I typically remind her to go about 90 minutes/2 hours if she hasn't gone before or at least try to sit on the toilet and see if anything needs to come out. If it happens that she has an accident I tell her that it's important to listen to your body. If you have to go, you can step away from your game, or TV or whatever and then come right back to it. I also give her a bit of a hard time saying that I get sad because I have to do a lot of cleaning because of her accident. I usually have her clean the mess with me, and/or throw dirty clothes in laundry basket/washing machine. I ask her to please pay more attention and listen to her body. The next time she goes, we of course celebrate the grand event and tell her that she's doing a big girl job. I have some stickers but they are not used consistently. I do give her high-fives and tell her how proud I am of her. I do not like giving her candy or food b/c I don't want to associate going potty with eating...she gets plenty of other treats at different times.
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:20 AM
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I am the original poster. She has been doing fine now again and has not had any accidents. She gets to have a sleepover in guestroom with her big sister in the big bed if she doesn't have an accident all day since it is Christmas break and they don't have to get up as early. The first day when she was having her accidents she didn't get to have a sleepover. Last night she got to have one and was so proud. I guess I can say that she goes in streaks. She does sometimes lose track of time and wet herself when she is playing in the playroom. I have to remind her to go a lot and she gets mad but oh well. I just wish she would get over the pull-ups at bedtime thing. She doesn't get up to go to the bathroom at all at night yet and her pull-ups are always very wet in the morning. She barely gets anything to drink anymore after dinner so this is not it. Thank you for all of the suggestions and everything. She has always but a spiteful one and the fact that we are having some potty issues does not really surprise me!
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Old 12-22-2010, 12:09 PM
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OP, glad things are improving.

Another idea is to set the timer for every 45 or 60 minutes (you can get a portable one to put where she is) and when it dings she *must* try to go potty.

PLEASE don't be upset about the pull-ups at night. Both my children needed them at night until they were past 4. A month or two after turning 4 they were suddenly dry all night every night and would get up to go to the bathroom if needed.

There is a neurological development that occurs with children and until they reach that milestone, they cannot help the nighttime wetting.

Also, be sure she pee-pees very last thing before going to bed (duh).
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