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Old 12-24-2010, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,226 posts, read 7,413,441 times
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It never ceases to amaze me that people will come into a forum, ask a question, and reject the answers they don't like. There must have been some suspicion in the first place to ask advice.

Most people here feel that the child is at risk. You should take action. If you fail to do so, you will have to deal with the possible consequences of your inaction.

Merry Christmas.
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Old 12-24-2010, 01:43 PM
 
3,803 posts, read 4,809,912 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
Why would you even ask? This 26-year-old college educated woman has had a sufficient amount of exposure to the dangers of drugs, not only to her child but to herself. She is breast feeding because she is LAZY! Or so whacked out on oxy and mj that she can't figure out how to put formula into a bottle. Ever see a drug-dependent baby in withdrawal?

You think explaining to her in a certain light will do the trick? Nuh-uh. Girlfriend's friend or not, call social services and let them do the explaining.

Merry Christmas.

absolutely correct and this needs to be done asap for the safety of the child--the heck with mom
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Old 12-24-2010, 10:11 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
2,193 posts, read 4,451,397 times
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Just to give my own input and experience in dealing with CPS. They will investigate the matter with no bias. And even if they find the parent doing something wrong, their mission is always to keep the child with the parent as that is the first, best place for the child. They will give suggestions and provide resources/help for whatever issues they have difficulty with. The priority is to the parents and the standards aren't really that high either.

Anyway, just tell your gf, to ask your friend and that's it. Just say I'm worried about any ramifications the mixture of the drugs will have on the child. Such as behavioral or developmental issues. And ask the girl is she is worried about her child having those issues or not.

Ten years from now, you don't want to look back and say I wish I had said something or did something.

Lastly, I'm surprised people are minimizing the girl's drug use, like it's no big deal. One poster mentioned, something along the lines of if the girl is only taking a puff after the kid goes to sleep isnt a big deal. But what if the baby wakes up or gets sick right after that? Can a person do what is needed after taking a mind altering drug?
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Old 12-24-2010, 10:39 PM
 
29,988 posts, read 35,889,753 times
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OP: No reason for anyone to confront the mother. If it can be easily proven that this mother is abusing drugs while nursing Child Protective Services needs to be called ASAP. Addicts cannot be reasoned with while they are using. It is a waste of time and further endagerment to the child to even try.
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Old 12-25-2010, 12:40 AM
 
15,307 posts, read 16,867,859 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
I need some advice from parents.

I know a woman, about 26, who has a newborn baby girl. The mother is college educated and fairly intelligent, but she is irresponsible, naive, undisciplined, and generally unprepared to be a mother.

While she is nursing, she is taking painkillers like Oxycontin, and smoking weed, and drinking beer.

Common sense dictates that this is bad for the child, although I'm not a doctor, so I don't know if the risk is mild, moderate, or severe.

Anyway, if you cared for the welfare of the little girl, and wanted to talk some sense into the mom to persuade her that she's making a big mistake, how would you do it? What would you say, how would you frame the issue? Or just in general - would you get involved at all?

I'm a little out of my element when it comes to babies in general, much less other peoples' babies.
The oxycontin in its newer form is time-released and stays in a person's body longer than the old formulation. Also, alcohol should never be combined with oxycontin. There have been no studies of its effect on infants, but it does pass through the breast milk, so it should not be used when nursing unless there is no alternative treatment. Oxycontin is strongly addictive, so I would suspect that this mom is addicted now or will become addicted if she continues to use it. Trying to talk to an addict is unlikely to help.

Oxycontin Information from Drugs.com
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Old 12-25-2010, 02:55 AM
 
2,060 posts, read 4,914,798 times
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Has it occurred to anyone that the baby may also be developing addictions to these substances (if they haven't already)?

It breaks my heart that people can still think it's OK for parents to give their babies drugs and alcohol.
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Old 12-25-2010, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,990,096 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
The "Nobody wants to get Involved" Syndrome again. I realize you are concerned because you asked the question but you became rather defensive when so many people here have told you the truth.

Since this woman is not an important part of your life (or especially if she was) you really know you should do something but you don't know what. Please think of the future of this little baby and give her a lifeline. Call the proper authorities. Thank you for caring.
Yes, as much as I have problems with CPS, they do try to reunite the family. My niece is currently in the system, and even though my sister does not deserve to get her back they are still trying to get to the reunification stage. Do not wait. People waited to report on my sister and brother-in-law mainly so as not to rock the family boat, and so much damage has been done to my niece. Do not inflict that on another child.
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Old 12-25-2010, 07:01 PM
 
22,770 posts, read 25,218,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by theatergypsy View Post
It never ceases to amaze me that people will come into a forum, ask a question, and reject the answers they don't like.
well, it is simple. some of the answers, while coming from a good and caring place, also make assumptions that are not known or not true.

if she's used these once in a 2-month span, in small levels, and not at the same time? it is like i said, im not looking to take specific action, rather, i want more information on the overall issue.

Last edited by le roi; 12-25-2010 at 07:12 PM..
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Old 12-25-2010, 07:49 PM
 
1,692 posts, read 2,034,534 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by le roi View Post
well, it is simple. some of the answers, while coming from a good and caring place, also make assumptions that are not known or not true.

if she's used these once in a 2-month span, in small levels, and not at the same time? it is like i said, im not looking to take specific action, rather, i want more information on the overall issue.
I asked before and you ignored it. How much abuse is acceptable?
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Old 12-25-2010, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,437 posts, read 41,696,241 times
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To watch a baby in withdrawal is heartbreaking. Think what any amount of drugs or alchohol is doing to this newborn? Think about how her brain is developing / or not.
I don't think any amount of drinking or drugs while nursing is acceptable. And if she weren't nursing? Would you not be just as concerned about the child's welfare?

The demands of a newborn are unreal and like somebody said, it will get worse as baby is mobile. I don't know how anybody drinking or taking drugs - even "once of twice"- can be depended upon to provide proper childcare.

Please don't wait too long. Your friend might even be grateful you care enough about her and her baby. Maybe not right away but eventually she may realize it was the best thing to happen to her.
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