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How important are friends when children are in elementary school? I recall having many friend at that age that attended public and private schools. Maybe there were just plenty more kids around in that era.
Do you think its more beneficial to attend a very small private school with no neighborhood friend potential and limited classroom friendship potential and very strong academics and student support or a large public school where the work will be easier, there will be less academic help available from the staff but tons of neighborhood kids are friendship opportunities?
I think friends are super important for elementary school. My children made neighborhood friends when they attended private schools. The school choice doesn't really make an impact. I also think that small private schools offer more opportunities for friendship because the small class size causes all of the students to become very close. Don't worry so much about school size. Just make sure you make an effort to allow your child to establish and maintain school friendships outside of school and enough freedom to make friends in the neighborhood.
My kids were pretty miserable in their small private school. They made friends, but everyone lived such a distance that it was hard to make plans outside of school. They begged to go to the local public school, and I ended up letting them transfer. It was the right choice for us at the time, and they did fine in the public school, but if they hadn't I don't know that I would have sacrificed a good education for friends.
There are alternative outlets for socializing, such as sports, scouts, etc. Home-schooling parents have found a way, so it's doable.
My kids were pretty miserable in their small private school. They made friends, but everyone lived such a distance that it was hard to make plans outside of school.
That was my point about the necessity of parents to make an effort to support and encourage school friendships outside of school. Children at private schools generally do live farther away, and parents need to support those friendships by making sure the children get together with their friends. Some families can't make the committment to transporting children so far away due to heavy work schedules, etc., and for those parents I would recommend public school would be a good options, like you did for your children.
I think that friendships at that age are very important. With that said, you can work around the no-friends-at-school issue. We homeschool, and our children are active in various homeschool groups and have friends there. They also have close friends at church and in a separate Bible study, but no real friends in the neighborhood. They used to have a lot of neighborhood friends, because we lived in a residential area that was crawling with children, but we have since moved to a less developed area, and while there is a little girl down the street, there are no other children or families. If you are not committed to driving your kids to visit with friends, then the busier public school might be a better option, but if you can spend the time helping them socialize, then I'd go with the school with the better academics. Only you know what's best for your family. Good luck!
How important are friends when children are in elementary school? I recall having many friend at that age that attended public and private schools. Maybe there were just plenty more kids around in that era.
Do you think its more beneficial to attend a very small private school with no neighborhood friend potential and limited classroom friendship potential and very strong academics and student support or a large public school where the work will be easier, there will be less academic help available from the staff but tons of neighborhood kids are friendship opportunities?
How important are friendships at this age?
I think friendships are important. My twins attended a very small private school which had everything going for it except too few students to form friendships (you had your group of friends and there were no other groups to hang around with). Both of my kids had close friends at that school (none from our neighborhood) and all the parents made great efforts to host playdates or other activities on non-school days (and very frequent visits to a local park directly afterschool so the kids could play together). Even so, I felt it was socially lacking, so I transfered my kids over to public school in 3rd grade for just that reason.
We live close to our local state elementary school. Our kids walk / ride / rip stik to school. There is always a small tribe of neighbourhood kids at our place before and after school.
While I think the state run education is poor compared to the private schools, the individual teachers are great. The kids have great friendships. Although my 14yo now attends a private high school she has kept in touch with many of her friends from primary / elementary school including some of the boys.
So I think the friendship thing is very important and I am glad we had our kids go to this local school and I would do it all again.
I think the social/friendship factor is important. My 10 year old son really doesn't have any friends that he plays/hangs out with outside of school. There is a total of 5 boys in his class and although he seems to be ok getting along and playing with them at recess, nothing outside of school ever seems to transpire. I ask him if he would like to invite one or a group of boys over to play or even volunteer to take them to the roller rink but he refuses. He said to me last night, all they ever want to do is play video games or talk about them, they never want to play physically, like sports or skateboarding.
He seems to be ok with it somedays but other days he gets upset about his older brother leaving and hanging out or his friends coming over. I am really unsure what it is, he wants to play but doesnt really want to play with the kids from his school or maybe he just wants to hang around the house all the time (cant believe that).
We put him in the school a few years back because he was really struggling in the public school and just wasnt getting the help he needed. The private school staff has been very accommodating with trying to help him academically. There is 9 kids in the class which really gives the teacher extra time to help.
My dilemma is do I continue to leave him in the private school? He has really improved in all subjects and would most likely do fine in the public school. Or should I move him to the public school where he can hopefully start to develop more social skills? And if I do move him is it bad to do it midyear or should I wait till next school year, knowing that he"ll have another summer of not much friendship fun?
Dont' you live in a neighborhood where there are children? When when my children went to private school (they didn't always go to private school), they still made friends with neighbors. In my area, children can attend four different public elementary schools and an unlimited number of private schools. As a result, it doesn't really matter what school neighborhood children attend. They made friendships long before they started school anyway by playing outside, learning how to ride bikes, etc., when they were pre-school aged.
Even though I didn't grow up in a neighborhood that was served by so many different public elementary schools, two of my best neighborhood friends attended two different private schools. If you live in an area where there aren't children outside playing, I would recommend a public school or a larger private school.
Another option would be to put your child in the public school sports programs if possible. Check your state laws. Our state laws grant private school students access to all sports and activities at the public schools because parents pay school taxes. My son made many friends playing Lacrosse at the public school while attending a private school. Nobody on the sports team even asked where he attended. The district is big enough that they thought they simply hadn't seen him for a few years.
If you move him, wait until next year. Dont' do it mid-year. If you know you're likely to switch schools at some point, do it next year and don't postpone it for a few years more. If you wait until he's closer to 12 or 13, you could run into his being more insecure socially about switching schools because the early teen years are quite difficult for kids.
It depends on the kid. Some kids don't have high social needs or they are fine with siblings, pets, cousins.
If a child has strong social needs, there are all sorts of ways to meet them - neighborhood kids, 4-H clubs, boyscouts, church groups - it doesn't all have to be school. I think if you have the choice, academics would be the better option but get the child involved in extra-curricular activities, including away from school groups.
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