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Old 12-28-2010, 08:48 AM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
Hmmm. Mighty judgmental aren't we? The tree is still up. The teenagers are not suicidal. They got thier gifts on Friday night and went on thier merry way playing the videogame, ps3 or whatever the thing is.


but you need to stop being so selfish and think about your children for a change.

Since you know so damn much. In the last two weeks I put in 20 hours of OT so THEY could get gifts and we would not be in the hole over this one BS retail oriented holiday. During that time I came home and cooked dinner AND cleaned house AND made sure they were provided for. During that time I also found out I have a medical condition that I will need surgery for.

Yeah, maybe I am selfish because on Christmas Day 2010 I chose to stay in bed, get some ME time and be alone. I am sure of ALL the other Christmases they have had that it will be THIS one that sends them to therapy.
Honestly? It may not send them to therapy but I'm willing to bet they will remember this Christmas as an unhappy one.

Kids are very sensitive to their parents actions and if this is out of the norm for you to act like this, they will take notice and internalize it.
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Old 12-28-2010, 08:49 AM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by omigawd View Post
Nice damage control when in your original post you said:




Putting in 20 hours of OT to buy gifts for your kids?? Welcome to the real world. You're not the only one who does this. There are plenty of people who put in hours upon hours of OT for their families and do without for themselves so their children can have nice things for Christmas.

Whatever. You don't see what you're doing and I guess that works for you. You claim you had no idea your husband was going to give them their gifts on Christmas Eve?? I have 3 responses to that: either you're being untruthful; he did it with your knowledge and you didn't want to roll out of bed to be there; he did it so the kids could be happy with their gifts without you spoiling it for them.
I'm going to go with #3. Having battled depression myself, I know how much weight is shifted to the other "healthy" parent to present a normal face to the kids.

I hope big blue gets help for her depression issues. She is hurting herself and her children.
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Old 12-28-2010, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,312,726 times
Reputation: 629
Quote:
Originally Posted by omigawd View Post
Nice damage control when in your original post you said:




Putting in 20 hours of OT to buy gifts for your kids?? Welcome to the real world. You're not the only one who does this. There are plenty of people who put in hours upon hours of OT for their families and do without for themselves so their children can have nice things for Christmas.

Whatever. You don't see what you're doing and I guess that works for you. You claim you had no idea your husband was going to give them their gifts on Christmas Eve?? I have 3 responses to that: either you're being untruthful; he did it with your knowledge and you didn't want to roll out of bed to be there; he did it so the kids could be happy with their gifts without you spoiling it for them.

Damage Control??? This is a just a messageboard.

Again, YOU are making assumptions on what happened and you weren't even there!. HI-LAR-I-OUS!

I chose to leave the tree where it is.

As for the presents, DH went out to Best Buy and as soon as he got home Friday he gave them the gifts. Without saying a word to me. See he isn't a big Christmas fanatic either. He said they aren't babies and he wanted to give them the gifts ahead of time. He spent Christmas watching old westerns in his "man" room. The kids did thier thing and I did mine. It's over and done with.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:00 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,312,726 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
I'm going to go with #3. Having battled depression myself, I know how much weight is shifted to the other "healthy" parent to present a normal face to the kids.

I hope big blue gets help for her depression issues. She is hurting herself and her children.


Are you freakkin kidding me?? The man walked in the house Friday night and pulled the gifts out the bag. I wasn't in a funk at all until Xmas day!.

It was one day of the blues. I'm not getting doped up over 1 day. Please.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:02 AM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
Damage Control??? This is a just a messageboard.

Again, YOU are making assumptions on what happened and you weren't even there!. HI-LAR-I-OUS!

I chose to leave the tree where it is.

As for the presents, DH went out to Best Buy and as soon as he got home Friday he gave them the gifts. Without saying a word to me. See he isn't a big Christmas fanatic either. He said they aren't babies and he wanted to give them the gifts ahead of time. He spent Christmas watching old westerns in his "man" room. The kids did thier thing and I did mine. It's over and done with.

That sounds like a real healthy family.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:03 AM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,664,892 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
Are you freakkin kidding me?? The man walked in the house Friday night and pulled the gifts out the bag. I wasn't in a funk at all until Xmas day!.

It was one day of the blues. I'm not getting doped up over 1 day. Please.
Who said anything about meds? You are exhibiting anger and sadness along with an inability to calmly discuss what you've originally brought up. It's quite clear that this whole thing extends way beyond 1 day.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,312,726 times
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Yeah, as a family we are good.

I did not realize that there is a predetermined "mold" one has to follow on the holidays or any other day.

I'm not mad, but people are making up stories over my comment about the presents-which is in my opinion is hilarious.

Did you ever think that maybe what he did "ruined" what plans I had? No because you were busy jumping on someone elses interpretation of what happened.


Regardless, Next year we are going to the islands to escape this holiday nonsense and have some fun.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:53 AM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,033,856 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
This is a just a messageboard.
Exactly. You can find the energy for a message board but not for your children.
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Old 12-28-2010, 09:55 AM
 
852 posts, read 1,136,288 times
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^^ You should do that, bigblue! Take a nice holiday trip with your husband. That's what I fully plan to do in those years when my kids are older and they won't necessarily be at home but we don't have grandchildren to dote on. Not all families fit the mold, and this time of year can be depressing for some people. Your children will understand, and they will be fine. People sometimes have bad months or bad years. That is the human condition. There is nothing wrong with letting your teenage children see that you are a normal person with a range of emotions.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:03 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,120 posts, read 17,664,361 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
^^ You should do that, bigblue! Take a nice holiday trip with your husband. That's what I fully plan to do in those years when my kids are older and they won't necessarily be at home but we don't have grandchildren to dote on. Not all families fit the mold, and this time of year can be depressing for some people. Your children will understand, and they will be fine. People sometimes have bad months or bad years. That is the human condition. There is nothing wrong with letting your teenage children see that you are a normal person with a range of emotions.
Exactly, some ppl take this holiday thing way too seriously . We in our house treat it like any other day . we dont buy into all the present rush with what will end up on the bottom of someones closet in a couple of months anyways . We dont put up a tree . We have no children at home and our grandkids are in another state and their parents dont want to drive 1200 miles for just a couple of days and I totally understand that .
So you see I guess what you would say is we dont celebrate christmas at all anymore . I dont see the need for it .
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