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Old 12-28-2010, 10:25 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,311,863 times
Reputation: 629

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Exactly. You can find the energy for a message board but not for your children.
I can and do both thank you!.

Thanks for your concern.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,311,863 times
Reputation: 629
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
^^ You should do that, bigblue! Take a nice holiday trip with your husband. That's what I fully plan to do in those years when my kids are older and they won't necessarily be at home but we don't have grandchildren to dote on. Not all families fit the mold, and this time of year can be depressing for some people. Your children will understand, and they will be fine. People sometimes have bad months or bad years. That is the human condition. There is nothing wrong with letting your teenage children see that you are a normal person with a range of emotions.

Thank you!.

Amazing how people view depression as being "selfish". If I had said I was in bed with the Flu or Pneumonia the reaction would be totally different-yet depression can make you physically ill, drained and almost paralyzed. If they chose to remember this 1 day out of 364 other days as some traumatic experience then I have done a horrible job of being a parent. Heck I don't remember every holiday with my own parents, and there were holidays where my mom slept late, spent all day cooking and then went to bed after dinner. Oh, and it didn't hurt my feelings.
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Old 12-28-2010, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,311,863 times
Reputation: 629
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
Exactly, some ppl take this holiday thing way too seriously . We in our house treat it like any other day . we dont buy into all the present rush with what will end up on the bottom of someones closet in a couple of months anyways . We dont put up a tree . We have no children at home and our grandkids are in another state and their parents dont want to drive 1200 miles for just a couple of days and I totally understand that .
So you see I guess what you would say is we dont celebrate christmas at all anymore . I dont see the need for it .

BRAVO!. I talked to my husband about it and that is what we are going to do. People are so wrapped up in this whole Norman Rockwell image of what Christmas is supposed to be. All of the holiday cheer is fake, why can't people be human and civilized 365 days of the year and not just one day?. I buy my family things year round and I just don't feel that 12/25 is a important day. I went to school with Jehovah's Witnesses and they don't celebrate any holidays at all. I suppose they are breaking the "rules" also.
I talk to my kids enough to know if they are bothered and if I somehow ruined the day for them, they will surely let me know.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:10 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,652,644 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
Exactly, some ppl take this holiday thing way too seriously . We in our house treat it like any other day . we dont buy into all the present rush with what will end up on the bottom of someones closet in a couple of months anyways . We dont put up a tree . We have no children at home and our grandkids are in another state and their parents dont want to drive 1200 miles for just a couple of days and I totally understand that .
So you see I guess what you would say is we dont celebrate christmas at all anymore . I dont see the need for it .
There is a major difference between not celebrating a holiday and going through the motions of celebrating, then locking yourself in your room the day of the celebration.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:11 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,652,644 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
Thank you!.

Amazing how people view depression as being "selfish". If I had said I was in bed with the Flu or Pneumonia the reaction would be totally different-yet depression can make you physically ill, drained and almost paralyzed. If they chose to remember this 1 day out of 364 other days as some traumatic experience then I have done a horrible job of being a parent. Heck I don't remember every holiday with my own parents, and there were holidays where my mom slept late, spent all day cooking and then went to bed after dinner. Oh, and it didn't hurt my feelings.
It is selfish, especially if you don't take steps to take care of it in a healthy way. Locking yourself in your room on Christmas day isn't healthy. People don't choose to remember things, they just do.

You are in denial if you think your actions do not have an impact on your children.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:13 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,652,644 times
Reputation: 16471
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
BRAVO!. I talked to my husband about it and that is what we are going to do. People are so wrapped up in this whole Norman Rockwell image of what Christmas is supposed to be. All of the holiday cheer is fake, why can't people be human and civilized 365 days of the year and not just one day?. I buy my family things year round and I just don't feel that 12/25 is a important day. I went to school with Jehovah's Witnesses and they don't celebrate any holidays at all. I suppose they are breaking the "rules" also.
I talk to my kids enough to know if they are bothered and if I somehow ruined the day for them, they will surely let me know.
I don't give a fig if someone even celebrates any holiday. It's the dysfunctional image that YOU have painted here that gives people pause.

You are the one projecting your own issues onto this holiday and it's celebration. If you don't like it, DON'T DO IT. Better that than having a really messed up day involving your kids - a mom going through the motions of everything, dad throwing gifts at them and mom locking herself in her room.

Don't blame a holiday and it's celebrants for your own inability to cope with depression in a healthy manner.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Silver Spring,Maryland
884 posts, read 2,311,863 times
Reputation: 629
The title of the thread, and the entire premise was the op expressing that they were glad the holidays were over. I agreed like other did.

Who are you to determine if I handled my issues in a healthy manner. I didn't get drunk, start a fight, physically lash out or take drugs. I simply slept late, and stayed in bed most of the day (except for dinner).

I didn't say I was "locked" in my room. I said I stayed in bed.

Like I have said before if my actions bothered them I am sure that they will talk to me about it.

Next topic!.
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Old 12-28-2010, 12:27 PM
 
3,842 posts, read 9,242,210 times
Reputation: 3177
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
Thank you!.

Amazing how people view depression as being "selfish". If I had said I was in bed with the Flu or Pneumonia the reaction would be totally different-yet depression can make you physically ill, drained and almost paralyzed. If they chose to remember this 1 day out of 364 other days as some traumatic experience then I have done a horrible job of being a parent. Heck I don't remember every holiday with my own parents, and there were holidays where my mom slept late, spent all day cooking and then went to bed after dinner. Oh, and it didn't hurt my feelings.
If none of this was an issue, why the ranting posts? So you don't like the holidays...move on & be at peace.
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Old 12-28-2010, 01:05 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,107 posts, read 17,646,574 times
Reputation: 22454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
There is a major difference between not celebrating a holiday and going through the motions of celebrating, then locking yourself in your room the day of the celebration.
Wow some ppl on here !! excuse me where did you see that she locked herself in her room ,nope I did not see that . wow wow wow !! A little judgemental are'nt we ? why dont you tell us how you really feel . Im always amazed at how some ppl have to go overboard with things and discussions .
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Old 12-28-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,985,032 times
Reputation: 3861
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigbluelandrover View Post
BRAVO!. I talked to my husband about it and that is what we are going to do. People are so wrapped up in this whole Norman Rockwell image of what Christmas is supposed to be. All of the holiday cheer is fake, why can't people be human and civilized 365 days of the year and not just one day?. I buy my family things year round and I just don't feel that 12/25 is a important day. I went to school with Jehovah's Witnesses and they don't celebrate any holidays at all. I suppose they are breaking the "rules" also.
I talk to my kids enough to know if they are bothered and if I somehow ruined the day for them, they will surely let me know.
Bringing up JW's will not help your case any. Sorry. I've known a number of them, some current and some who escaped. Every single one hates the fact that they did not celebrate holidays or birthdays. This goes for the ones who are still in it, too. My sister had a friend all throughout school who was a JW, and her friends had to sneak her birthday presents. If Christmas depresses you, you shouldn't have put up a tree or done anything.
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