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1. As long as my adult children are working or attending post secondary school, they are free to live with us until they graduate and/or save up enough money to have nest egg.
Interesting list Magritte. (I'm always curious about how other people do things.) Some I agree with, some not so much.
Is there an age limit for the adult children? What if they're 30 and still "saving up"? What if they are a perpetual student? Do you think they still have the impetus to get up and out on their own if they have things (relatively) easy at home with Mom and Dad?
Of course he has the right to do so; his parents also have the right to ask him to find his own living quarters if he prefers to live in a way that goes against their values. He has an easy option: if it's too much of a hassle to get home at night then he can find his own home.
And this I disagree with. His parents have the right to say what he can do and cannot do in their own home. Absolutely they do. But I do not believe they have the right to extend that beyond their four walls. It's insane to me.
Interesting list Magritte. (I'm always curious about how other people do things.) Some I agree with, some not so much.
Is there an age limit for the adult children? What if they're 30 and still "saving up"? What if they are a perpetual student? Do you think they still have the impetus to get up and out on their own if they have things (relatively) easy at home with Mom and Dad?
I would hope that we raise them with enough independence that even the attraction of rent free housing wouldn't outweigh their natural inclination to fly the coop. I would give them about 2 years post graduation to save up, find a professional job etc.
I do think they will want to leave home simply because I know *so* many families who have done this with their kids and it really seemed to work out great for everyone involved.
I do think they will want to leave home simply because I know *so* many families who have done this with their kids and it really seemed to work out great for everyone involved.
Now THAT is really interesting to me because I don't know ANY. I know a lot of families who can't afford it. Kids need to work to contribute to the household income.
For the families I've known who are tremendously well off, all I can think of are "trust fund babies" I've known. Read Mom and Dad have bucks and support their adult children. The children got handed everything, felt the world owed them happiness and squandered their lives.
But if it works for you, okey-dokey.
Edit to say: It sounds like you are more involved in their daily lives. I know well-off parents who write a check every month but couldn't tell you the color of the car their child drives.
And this I disagree with. His parents have the right to say what he can do and cannot do in their own home. Absolutely they do. But I do not believe they have the right to extend that beyond their four walls. It's insane to me.
Everyone is so adamant about the son's rights here, and he DOES have rights. At the same time, the parents are adults with full rights, too; it's their home. Why wouldn't they get to set their own rules? It's their house, their rules, and they have the right to ask whatever they want, just as the son has every right to not agree with it and to move elsewhere. If the son wants a purely landlord relationship then he has a very easy answer: move out and find a landlord.
Everyone is so adamant about the son's rights here, and he DOES have rights. At the same time, the parents are adults with full rights, too; it's their home. Why wouldn't they get to set their own rules? It's their house, their rules, and they have the right to ask whatever they want, just as the son has every right to not agree with it and to move elsewhere. If the son wants a purely landlord relationship then he has a very easy answer: move out and find a landlord.
It really is as simple as this. If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one. Why is this so hard to grasp?
I would hope that we raise them with enough independence that even the attraction of rent free housing wouldn't outweigh their natural inclination to fly the coop. I would give them about 2 years post graduation to save up, find a professional job etc.
2 years is enough to build up a nest egg? What is your definition of nest egg?
Everyone is so adamant about the son's rights here, and he DOES have rights. At the same time, the parents are adults with full rights, too; it's their home. Why wouldn't they get to set their own rules? It's their house, their rules, and they have the right to ask whatever they want, just as the son has every right to not agree with it and to move elsewhere. If the son wants a purely landlord relationship then he has a very easy answer: move out and find a landlord.
Their right to make rules don't extend to other people's homes. Simple as that.
Now THAT is really interesting to me because I don't know ANY. I know a lot of families who can't afford it. Kids need to work to contribute to the household income.
For the families I've known who are tremendously well off, all I can think of are "trust fund babies" I've known. Read Mom and Dad have bucks and support their adult children. The children got handed everything, felt the world owed them happiness and squandered their lives.
But if it works for you, okey-dokey.
Edit to say: It sounds like you are more involved in their daily lives. I know well-off parents who write a check every month but couldn't tell you the color of the car their child drives.
The families for whom this type of set up works are families who are involved with each other. The parents are involved in their children's lives in a healthy way while giving the kids enough space and respect to let them be individuals. It's not a perfect set up. But by and large, it does seem to work nicely. My husband and I are trying to model that type of family vs. the families we came from. The one family that we are really impressed with have 3 college graduates - a nurse, a teacher and a rehab therapist. All three lived at home after college, rent free for 1-2 years. They are all out on their own now and doing well, from what I can see.
It really is as simple as this. If you want to be treated like an adult, act like one. Why is this so hard to grasp?
If it is so simple, please, define for us what an adult is and what they do to "act" like one.
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