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Old 01-18-2012, 06:20 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 34,966,446 times
Reputation: 42368

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Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
I am trying to understand WHY sleeping at a SO's house while you still live at home is viewed as inappropriate to some..
The most appropriate person to ask is the OP. He's the one with the mouthy teenager. Ask him why he has that rule. The rest of us are just supporting his right as homeowner to set the rules of his house.

For me, I don't have the strongest opinion about it, because my oldest is 15 and we're not there yet. It's about the responsibility of the overall behavior. An employed, 20-year-old college student spending the night with her longtime boyfriend? Eh, maybe. But here's what the OP said:

Quote:
Her parents have no objection and even let them sleep in the same bed. This makes my wife and I absolutely crazy because it goes against everything we were raised and the way we raised him. All we get is that "I'm 18 and you aren't allowed to tell me what to do." To which we've responded that come Jan 1st after the holidays, we're going to help him get his own apartment since he doesn't like the rules living here.

We don't want to kick him out but we also don't enjoy having our son thumb his nose in our face and say "I'll do what I want and you can't stop me."
A mouthy 18-year-old is not acting like a responsible adult. That vetoes the "Eh, maybe" and sends it straight into "I'll help you pack."

 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:23 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,611,695 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
No, dammit. *Sighs*.
I want to know WHY parents are against their adult children who still live at home spending the night at boyfriend/girlfriends house. This has nothing to do with what I do. I just want to know WHY some parents are against it.

Is it a religious thing?
Against premarital sex?
Is it against your beliefs?
What is it?
Help me understand.

Please don't make me turn to Yahoo!Answers.



And I am not trying to make it about me.
I am trying to understand WHY sleeping at a SO's house while you still live at home is viewed as inappropriate to some...



I understand you can make any rules you want....
But I want to know WHY, why is it viewed as inappropriate, why don't some parents allow it..

Why are you prohibiting it?
What's your reasoning behind it?
I am trying to understand this.


Txt people who are against it generally are the same parents who believe sex is only for after marriage. The people in the thread are correct however. Being someone is 18 years old you can make any number of conditions on them residing in your house, no matter how draconian they may be. Personally i would move out rather than have someone dictate what i could and could not do outside the house.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:23 PM
 
15,743 posts, read 13,167,427 times
Reputation: 19636
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Omg...if another person simply tells me "your house, your rules" one more time I am going to scream.

It's almost as bad as "Because I said so".

No one can offer up a legitimate answer as to WHY it is such a bad thing to be an adult, living at home and maintaining a real relationship with someone you deeply care about.

Just because someone can't afford to live alone doesn't mean they shouldn't be allowed to have a legit relationship and find love.

As far as I'm concerned as long as it isn't going on in YOUR house then it shouldn't be an issue.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with an ADULT doing any of those things. But if you live at home with your parents, in their house, with them paying the bills, you are surrendering your full claim to adulthood.

But there is nothing wrong with the behavior in the slightest. But your landlord gets to call the shots, if you do not like the rules of the lease, move.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:23 PM
 
2,159 posts, read 3,733,501 times
Reputation: 2136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
People often enjoy the bonding of sleeping in the same bed. I fail to see how living at home but sleeping occasionally at ones mates house is the barometer of adulthood or not.
Because if you want to play house with your boyfriend/girlfriend well then move out of your parents house. Their house isn't just their for when you have nowhere else to go for the night.

You kiddies will grasp this concept much better when you have grown up, moved out of your house and see what it is like paying for everything on your own and then see how entitled your children have grown up to become.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:24 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,611,695 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
i know right?
If we had of.....i would have already been burned at the stake..
:-p
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:27 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,611,695 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
Because if you want to play house with your boyfriend/girlfriend well then move out of your parents house. Their house isn't just their for when you have nowhere else to go for the night.

You kiddies will grasp this concept much better when you have grown up, moved out of your house and see what it is like paying for everything on your own and then see how entitled your children have grown up to become.


I would care less what my kids *not that i will have any* do on their time outside the house with their bf/gf. If they are pitching into the general chores of the house, and working and or going to school then they can stay wherever. My parents never made an issue if i did not come home at night :-P.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:27 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,378,467 times
Reputation: 3018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
People often enjoy the bonding of sleeping in the same bed. I fail to see how living at home but sleeping occasionally at ones mates house is the barometer of adulthood or not.
Exactly!
Over 18, its no longer "inappropriate" behavior to have sex or spend the night with a SO.
I am 23, its not like I am engaging in something I should be doing.
I work, I pay my own bills, I contribute to the house in quite a few ways. I'm going back to school.
But I agree some people love having someone to sleep next to.
When I sleep at my house, I feel like something is empty and missing, I like the feeling of laying next to TG at night in his arms and waking up like that, it's a very peaceful and comforting feeling to have. That's just my POV though.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
The most appropriate person to ask is the OP. He's the one with the mouthy teenager. Ask him why he has that rule. The rest of us are just supporting his right as homeowner to set the rules of his house.

For me, I don't have the strongest opinion about it, because my oldest is 15 and we're not there yet. It's about the responsibility of the overall behavior. An employed, 20-year-old college student spending the night with her longtime boyfriend? Eh, maybe. But here's what the OP said:



A mouthy 18-year-old is not acting like a responsible adult. That vetoes the "Eh, maybe" and sends it straight into "I'll help you pack."
Yes, but a few of you have also backed him in saying that an adult child living at home should not be allowed to spend the night at a bf/gf's house.
I want to know WHY some people think its inappropriate, that's not too much to ask.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:30 PM
 
2,159 posts, read 3,733,501 times
Reputation: 2136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
I would care less what my kids *not that i will have any* do on their time outside the house with their bf/gf. If they are pitching into the general chores of the house, and working and or going to school then they can stay wherever. My parents never made an issue if i did not come home at night :-P.
LMAO.. you say that now, but you will be singing a WHOLE different tune when you actually have kids. Trust me, been there, done that
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:33 PM
 
Location: North America
14,212 posts, read 9,611,695 times
Reputation: 5534
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
LMAO.. you say that now, but you will be singing a WHOLE different tune when you actually have kids. Trust me, been there, done that
Like i said its a moot point since i won't be having any. But with some situations i know what i would do. Lots of course i think you can't tell until you are there, the more serious issues. But i don't think sex is a massive deal, and would not do any different than my parents did with that.
 
Old 01-18-2012, 06:33 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,378,467 times
Reputation: 3018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucidkitty View Post
I would care less what my kids *not that i will have any* do on their time outside the house with their bf/gf. If they are pitching into the general chores of the house, and working and or going to school then they can stay wherever. My parents never made an issue if i did not come home at night :-P.
When I was 18/19 my mom probably would have said no.
But I was still allowed to sleep over at friends houses and she never really checked in as to if I was telling the truth or not, so if I wanted to, I could have gotten away with it.

But when I was 21 is when I met TG and she asked a few times but never made a huge case of it, nor ever told me I wasn't allowed to.

And I am the same, as long as they are doing *something* I don't care what they do outside their house, but when they step foot onto the property they'll have to follow my rules.
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