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Old 12-26-2010, 04:11 PM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,858 posts, read 43,592,994 times
Reputation: 58603

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I wish my 18 year old son had some family with a girl who would take HIM in. The savings on food and menopause nerve pills would buy me a vacation to Hawaii.

 
Old 12-26-2010, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Kerkrade, Limburg, Netherlands
262 posts, read 445,097 times
Reputation: 162
Quote:
Originally Posted by GloryB View Post
I wish my 18 year old son had some family with a girl who would take HIM in. The savings on food and menopause nerve pills would buy me a vacation to Hawaii.
haha I like this post ^^
My parents also told me they're saving up a lot of money since Im living in my university town.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 04:22 PM
 
2,514 posts, read 5,180,119 times
Reputation: 3482
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
This thread is not about whether teens will or should have sex. It's about an 18 y.o. who still lives at home and is blatantly disrespecting his parents' rules. If it's important to his parents that they don't witness these sleepovers with the girlfriend, then the son has the choice to either move out on his own or respect his parents wishes as long as he lives under their roof.
Tried to rep you. If the 18 yr old can't follow the rules of his parents while living under their roof and shows no respect, it's time to show him the front door.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 05:34 PM
 
149 posts, read 555,362 times
Reputation: 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
God forbid that a parent act like a parent for fear of creating tension.

That along with fear of 'damaging their self-esteem'!

This post caught my eye because we were dealing with a similiar situation...our son is 18 as well and for a little while there was one excuse after another as to why he would be spending the night at his gf's house. They do live about 40 miles away and much closer to the mountains but still. He contributes his part of the car insurance and cell phone. He also bought a beater of a car with his graduation money, so he does not have a car payment. He works part-time and will be (hopefully) attending school soon.

However. I don't really give a damn as to how old he is...our home will not be treated as a place to crash when it's convenient for him. It really is that simple. And to make matters even more interesting he was coming home 2, 3am which I wasn't entirely comfortable with, but didn't raise too much of a complaint. Until about a week before Christmas, when my husband's dispatcher's 18yr old son was killed in a wreck where he (of course) was driving too fast for conditions as well as not wearing a seatbelt. That put a stop to him coming home after 1pm.

18 year olds are not adults...many even say that 21 yr olds are not adults. The part of the brain that controls judgement and self-control is not fully formed until almost the mid 20s.

I just don't understand why so many kids think it's fine to completely disregard their parents. And that is the crux of the issue IMO.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 40,303,656 times
Reputation: 10915
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
This thread is not about whether teens will or should have sex. It's about an 18 y.o. who still lives at home and is blatantly disrespecting his parents' rules. If it's important to his parents that they don't witness these sleepovers with the girlfriend, then the son has the choice to either move out on his own or respect his parents wishes as long as he lives under their roof.
It isn't happening at their house. It might not even be happening at her house. Sometimes people actually sleep in the same bed without doing anything else.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 06:23 PM
 
Location: Inland Empire, Calif
2,887 posts, read 4,612,985 times
Reputation: 2766
he is an adult, kick his butt out on the street. if her parents want to take him in, good for them. Right now he owns you. Get tough or he will run your life forever.
Don't help him get an apartment, let the adult with a woodie make it on his own.
Wasted words... you are weak and he knows it, thats why he thumbs his nose at you. He has known you for 18 years and knows you won't get tough.. he wins, you lose. wait until you get to help him pay the bills for the babies he spreads around.
Either man up, or forget it
Harsh but true....
 
Old 12-26-2010, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Inland Empire, Calif
2,887 posts, read 4,612,985 times
Reputation: 2766
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
It isn't happening at their house. It might not even be happening at her house. Sometimes people actually sleep in the same bed without doing anything else.
I get it, you write comic books for a living and have never experienced real life... or, you're a stand-up comic...
 
Old 12-26-2010, 06:25 PM
 
2,060 posts, read 4,914,798 times
Reputation: 1652
Quote:
Originally Posted by alphamale View Post
You obviously aren't a parent of teens.

Sex should be saved for marriage.
Actually I don't think you are obviously a parent of teens if you think that is a realistic expectation of the majority of people.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 06:27 PM
 
20,979 posts, read 15,631,915 times
Reputation: 10270
Quote:
Originally Posted by ColbyInFallston View Post
That along with fear of 'damaging their self-esteem'!

This post caught my eye because we were dealing with a similiar situation...our son is 18 as well and for a little while there was one excuse after another as to why he would be spending the night at his gf's house. They do live about 40 miles away and much closer to the mountains but still. He contributes his part of the car insurance and cell phone. He also bought a beater of a car with his graduation money, so he does not have a car payment. He works part-time and will be (hopefully) attending school soon.

However. I don't really give a damn as to how old he is...our home will not be treated as a place to crash when it's convenient for him. It really is that simple. And to make matters even more interesting he was coming home 2, 3am which I wasn't entirely comfortable with, but didn't raise too much of a complaint. Until about a week before Christmas, when my husband's dispatcher's 18yr old son was killed in a wreck where he (of course) was driving too fast for conditions as well as not wearing a seatbelt. That put a stop to him coming home after 1pm.

18 year olds are not adults...many even say that 21 yr olds are not adults. The part of the brain that controls judgement and self-control is not fully formed until almost the mid 20s.

I just don't understand why so many kids think it's fine to completely disregard their parents. And that is the crux of the issue IMO.
You have to give someone permission to treat you disrespectfully.

We are not puritans, and my son slept overnight at his girlfriends house sometimes, although not in the same bed. Her parents had the same values as we do.

I'm not saying that teens will not sneak around, but it it was not encouraged.
 
Old 12-26-2010, 06:29 PM
 
2,060 posts, read 4,914,798 times
Reputation: 1652
OP what kind of punishment have you been imposing on this behavior? I assume he's paying for his own car and phone since he obviously still has full use of both. Consequences for not respecting the parents in my family would not have included being given my own place.
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