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2 years is enough to build up a nest egg? What is your definition of nest egg?
My definition of a nest egg is enough savings to get by paying all your bills for 6 months to a year. Hopefully that money will go towards something else, but it is there if one needs it.
How is living somewhere rent free without bills for two years while working a full time job *not* enough time to build a healthy savings?
If it is so simple, please, define for us what an adult is and what they do to "act" like one.
Someone who is responsible and doesn't depend on others for anything. They make their own way and act like responsible citizens. Someone who has absolutely zero problem with repecting the rules of the environment they live in and doing their fair share always.
Both my sons went to college full-time, worked part-time jobs while doing it, played sports and got good grades. One has his Masters, one is finishing up his. Both are successful and making their own way and have never asked for a dime. Neither would have remotely questioned me and whatever rules I had for the house had they moved home.
My husband and I are trying to model that type of family vs. the families we came from. The one family that we are really impressed with have 3 college graduates - a nurse, a teacher and a rehab therapist. All three lived at home after college, rent free for 1-2 years. They are all out on their own now and doing well, from what I can see.
Would you agree that a family can have that kind of success and NOT support their children in the manner you've described? Again. That's what I know.
(Sorry, not familiar with what you came from. If it stunk, I don't blame you for wanting to try an alternative.)
Adults also realize that nobody has all the answers, especially not while still in their 20's. And adults realize their opinions will change with age, maturity and experience.
Someone who is responsible and doesn't depend on others for anything. They make their own way and act like responsible citizens. Someone who has absolutely zero problem with repecting the rules of the environment they live in and doing their fair share always.
Both my sons went to college full-time, worked part-time jobs while doing it, played sports and got good grades. One has his Masters, one is finishing up his. Both are successful and making their own way and have never asked for a dime. Neither would have remotely questioned me and whatever rules I had for the house had they moved home.
So, you're suggesting that he should be allowed to spend the night at his girlfriends house whenever he wants and then he can stay at our house whenever he wants too? Maybe I'm old school but (a) I would have never stayed the night at a girlfriends house and (b) if my parents told me that they really didn't want me to do something then I wouldn't have done it.
I guess I have a hard time letting someone who wants to continue to live in my house rent free and eat my food free of charge and use my telephone and internet free of charge not at least respecting my wishes. We have given him more freedom. The only things we ask of him is to (a) not lie to us [which he continues to do] (b) tell us where he's at so we know he's safe [which he sometimes does] and (c) help out around the house [which he does only after a huge battle]
Maybe I need to rethink my position and let this adult do what he wants, when he wants, and I have no say in the matter. I just suck it up and deal with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by slbailey617
Honestly, my wife and I have chatted and it really boils down to a lack of respect. He doesn't treat us like parents. Last night, CHRISTMAS NIGHT, he left the family party to go spend the night at her house and didn't even say good bye or merry christmas or anything to his mother or me. Other family members are starting to notice how disrespectfully he treats us.
I could probably get by the fact he's sleeping at a girls house (because you're right, that's what adults do) but the constant snubbing his nose at us and yelling at us and treating us like crap is what makes us want to continue to tighten his leash until he starts treating us like parents and not like piles of poo in the front yard.
I am quoting the OP since no on seems to remember him, others have taken over this thread with constant arguments. He is dealing with a lack of respect, this goes far beyond an 18 year old having sex. This 18 yr. old is acting like a child treating his parents who raised and are still supporting him like crap. It's perfectly reasonable for them to ask him to start treating them with respect or move out, it's absurd to argue otherwise. This kid needs a kick in the butt (metaphorically, please no child abuse retorts) he must learn to act like a grown up.
The idea that a adult should expect his parents support him financially and pick up after him like he is a 2 year old, and then treat those parents like crap is unacceptable.
Adults also realize that nobody has all the answers, especially not while still in their 20's. And adults realize their opinions will change with age, maturity and experience.
I depend on my husband. I don't have my own income. He pays all the bills. I'm still an autonomous adult.
Would you agree that a family can have that kind of success and NOT support their children in the manner you've described? Again. That's what I know.
(Sorry, not familiar with what you came from. If it stunk, I don't blame you for wanting to try an alternative.)
I do agree there is more than one way to skin a cat, so to speak. I don't agree with how my parents raised us so yes, that is why we are changing the way we raise our children.
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