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Old 12-29-2010, 09:06 AM
 
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Beachmel, I will keep this family in my thoughts and prayers. What a horrible tragedy!
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:11 AM
 
Location: here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
I have a question for those of you who wash your towels infrequently, or use them several times before a wash: How is your health? Do you have allergies, get colds often, other? Just curious.
fairly healthy and allergy free. I am germphobic in other ways. I almost always get out a new hand towel for myself in our dowstairs bathroom (the one every one uses). I use a paper towel to turn off the water and open the door in a public bathroom. I wash my hands a lot.

Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Oh Gosh you guys, this is sooo off the topic, but since so many of my mom friends are here I have a request to make of you...I need you to be thinking some positive thoughts for a family I encountered today. I had to take my teenager to the ER this evening because he seriously dislocated his finger during BB practice. Almost as soon as we got there, a woman rushed in and was let in the back rooms. A few minutes later, she and several other women started screaming and pleading. The woman who ran in was a 7 year old little girl's mom. A troubled mom who was quite absent from her life due to drugs and alcohol (this from a family member I spoke to and gave hugs to in the waiting room) and the little girl had been passed around from family member to family member and was currently staying with an aunt. The aunt and little girl were in a head on collision with another vehicle, the little girl wasn't wearing a seatbelt and died in the ER. OMG y'all it was awful. We were all bawling.....just awful. Think positive thoughts about the family okay....give your kids an extra helping of love, keep all of that little one's "parents" in your heart, please...thanks. Gosh you guys, I can't begin to tell you who awful it was...the pain in that place, the anguish.....bawling now, even as I type. OMG!
that is very sad. Shame on that aunt for not buckling her up!
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,651,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Beachmel, The little girl and her family are in my prayers. How horrendous.

I have the belief that God puts us in certain places at certain times for a reason. As horrible as all of this was for you to witness it sounds like He needed you there to help comfort the family. I've sat in the E.R. alone (when my Dad had a heart attack) and the thing I needed most was someone there to give me a hug and tell me things would be all right. (Thankfully, he survived.)

So you were there to comfort the family as best you could. Knowing you through your posts I'm sure you helped them with your listening and your sympathetic presence. Now all of us can say a prayer or light a candle or think of this little girl and her family.

You were a blessing to someone yesterday.

(This is why I'm always urging all of us to give our family member a hug and and "I love you". My family has known more than it's fair share of illness and sudden death. You never know what can happen that will change your family forever.)

DewDrop....until reading your post, I hadn't even thought about the "bigger picture". You are so very right (((DDI))) If it took that minor injury, to get us where we needed to be...it was well worth it. Seeing that man...trying to comfort others and yet getting no comfort of his own, yes... there was indeed, a much larger purpose behind our presence in the ER last night. He needed to talk to someone, to be held by someone, to be let known that someone...a stranger, really did care and would be praying for his family. He was in desperate need of love and counselling. He and his wife had had his niece (the little girl) with them for 2 years of her life (in the past) and he loved her deeply, and he'd never lost anyone close to him ....ever, until this point. It was him that I felt pushed toward the most to comfort.

Life is so precious and can be snatched away from us in a flash. It is so important to show people just how much we care....and so important that we protect them as much as we can. When I think of what this family is going to be going through....the years of loss, blame, heartache, turmoil...it weighs so very heavy on my heart. I love you DDI....thanks for being there and for the beautiful reminder of how we're placed where we are most needed.
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,651,862 times
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Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
fairly healthy and allergy free. I am germphobic in other ways. I almost always get out a new hand towel for myself in our dowstairs bathroom (the one every one uses). I use a paper towel to turn off the water and open the door in a public bathroom. I wash my hands a lot.



that is very sad. Shame on that aunt for not buckling her up!
I thought so too....but at this stage of the game, details are unclear. The road that the accident was on is very, VERY treacherous with many dangerous curves. It is also in a forested area with an abundance of wildlife. For all we know, the child removed her own seatbelt and the aunt was trying to get her to buckle back up. Losing focus on that road, even for an instant, can be deadly. I've driven it hundreds of time and in fact grew up there and learned to drive on that very road. I am not going to pass judgement. The aunt will be suffering (if she survives), probably more than anyone else in this situation.
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Old 12-29-2010, 09:23 AM
 
Location: here
24,469 posts, read 28,723,874 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
I thought so too....but at this stage of the game, details are unclear. The road that the accident was on is very, VERY treacherous with many dangerous curves. It is also in a forested area with an abundance of wildlife. For all we know, the child removed her own seatbelt and the aunt was trying to get her to buckle back up. Losing focus on that road, even for an instant, can be deadly. I've driven it hundreds of time and in fact grew up there and learned to drive on that very road. I am not going to pass judgement. The aunt will be suffering (if she survives), probably more than anyone else in this situation.
... true
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Old 12-29-2010, 10:41 AM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,722,316 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Thank you all for your support and kindness. Yes Finster, it does make those piddly annoyance seem so very silly. Even though my poor son was in pain, he wasn't crying....not until then. I said, "I'm not making light of your finger or anything, but it makes that pain seem pretty insignificant, doesn't it honey?" He said, "Oh God mom, uh, yeah...pretty much... through his choked back tears. Watching the paramedics who'd brought them in, come out crying (2 men, 1 woman), the entire nursing & triage staff doing their best to hold it together to treat all of the other folks in the ER....some of the family members sitting dazed and in shock, in the waiting room....the wailing and pleading...sobbing, going on from some of them. Nothing, nothing....can compare with the overwhelming pain and grief.

As selfish as this sounds though, I was so grateful that we were only there for 1 1/2 hrs, getting triaged, x-rayed, and his finger put back in place. Again, though...even though it seemed like kind of a "big deal" on our way to the hospital, everything was put back into perspective after we walked into the hospital. When I think of what that young mother is going to go through.....having been absent and in her own world, neglecting that little girl, only to have her ripped from her life in such a permanent manner, having lost the opportunity ...permanently...to be a part of her child's life, and now, it's too late.....no more chances.
That's right. That poor mother is going to suffer guilt that none of us can ever really imagine. Good for you beachmel for having empathy and not passing judgment on the woman. I have met many people who have been in that situation and have worked really hard to make amends for the treatment of their children when they were actively addicted. To not ever have that opportunity is a terrible and tragic thing to happen, but unfortunately it's the chance you take when you don't get help for whatever ails you. However, even though she did the wrong thing in this child's life, she's only human and I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.

And I can't even begin to imagine how the Aunt who was driving is going to cope. Good lord, it doesn't bear thinking about.

DewDrop's right too, I'm really glad you were there, to help ease as much as you could. Although I wish you hadn't had to witness it, at the same time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
The only one i feel any pity for is the little girl not the family who passed her around like a ragdoll.
The rest of the family were obviously doing their best. To not feel pity for anybody in this situation is close minded and pretty cold.
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Old 12-29-2010, 11:04 AM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,604,245 times
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If your body is that disgusting that you don't trust your towel when you dry yourself off after a SHOWER - which you supposedly take for the purpose of cleaning yourself..

then I'd look into why your body is so disgusting, and stop worrying about the state of your towels.

Using a towel to dry water off a clean body should result in - a moist towel. Not a dirty towel. Just the thought of someone _needing_ to wash their towel after drying themselves off..is kinda sickening.
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Old 12-29-2010, 11:25 AM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,671,712 times
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Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
That's right. That poor mother is going to suffer guilt that none of us can ever really imagine. Good for you beachmel for having empathy and not passing judgment on the woman. I have met many people who have been in that situation and have worked really hard to make amends for the treatment of their children when they were actively addicted. To not ever have that opportunity is a terrible and tragic thing to happen, but unfortunately it's the chance you take when you don't get help for whatever ails you. However, even though she did the wrong thing in this child's life, she's only human and I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.

And I can't even begin to imagine how the Aunt who was driving is going to cope. Good lord, it doesn't bear thinking about.

DewDrop's right too, I'm really glad you were there, to help ease as much as you could. Although I wish you hadn't had to witness it, at the same time.



The rest of the family were obviously doing their best. To not feel pity for anybody in this situation is close minded and pretty cold.

Tossing a child from person to person is hardly anyone doing their best. Rather it's not one really wants to take care of her long term....they just are guilted into doing it in small doses.
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Old 12-29-2010, 11:37 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,651,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
That's right. That poor mother is going to suffer guilt that none of us can ever really imagine. Good for you beachmel for having empathy and not passing judgment on the woman. I have met many people who have been in that situation and have worked really hard to make amends for the treatment of their children when they were actively addicted. To not ever have that opportunity is a terrible and tragic thing to happen, but unfortunately it's the chance you take when you don't get help for whatever ails you. However, even though she did the wrong thing in this child's life, she's only human and I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.

And I can't even begin to imagine how the Aunt who was driving is going to cope. Good lord, it doesn't bear thinking about.

DewDrop's right too, I'm really glad you were there, to help ease as much as you could. Although I wish you hadn't had to witness it, at the same time.



The rest of the family were obviously doing their best. To not feel pity for anybody in this situation is close minded and pretty cold.

My friend, I wouldn't wish that kind of pain on anyone either...not anyone, no matter what. I can only imagine that the aunt will never get over this (again, if she survives). How could you? How could you not carry this in your heart for the rest of your life?...the pain, the guilt, the self-blame, no matter what it was that caused the accident?

Thank you for your wishes that I wouldn't have had to witness it. As DDI reminded me though...there are no coincidences. We were where we were needed, when we were needed there. Not just me, but my son and dear daughter as well. My children were so very touched at my reaching out to this total stranger who was in unbearable pain. There was no real thought to it for me. I had to do it, there was no question. It made a huge impact on my children and I believe, reinforced in their hearts, the "rightness" of reaching out to those in need. They commented on how long he held me, on the look of gratefulness and relief on his face, they voiced their respect for me in going to him in his time of need. I have no question that we were meant to be there at that particular time and I am most grateful to have been given the opportunity to serve in that capacity. We are not scarred by the experience....shaken and strengthened by it, yes. We are better for having been there. I so appreciate your love and support, your prayers for the family, your love, sympathy and empathy....all of you. I am truly blessed to have you in my life. (((((CD friends)))))
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Old 12-29-2010, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,651,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
Tossing a child from person to person is hardly anyone doing their best. Rather it's not one really wants to take care of her long term....they just are guilted into doing it in small doses.
Pagan...you don't know that. I am related to a couple of women like this mom. The aunts and uncles of this child have small children of their own. There can be so very many reasons why she was tossed about. Did a family have her for a couple of years, the child had emotional and behavioral problems that were harmful for their own children? Did the mother show up at their homes...creating an unstable, violent or dangerous environment? Did she forcefully remove the child from their home?....only to dump her off at another family member's home at a later date? We don't know the circumstances here yet. The latest "news brief" on the accident states that the aunt lost control of the vehicle, skidded sideways in the road and was struck by another vehicle (coming from the opposite direction)...That is basically all we know. Anything else is speculation. What I don't believe IS speculation is that the family (and the other driver) is suffering greatly today and will be for a very long time.
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