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Old 12-27-2010, 03:40 PM
 
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I'm just curious as to other parents' philosophies about the music their children listen to. Do you preview the music that your children listen to? Do you restrict their options? If you forbid music, what factors determine whether music is permitted? Is it the lyrics, the bands, the image?

As for me... When I was very little, I listened to folk and classical, as well as some kid tapes. That's what my parents listened to, so that's what was on. I loved it all. When I was older, I started buying my own music and taking my own music out of the library, and I listened to country, pop, rock, jazz, and classical. My parents never previewed what I listened to, and they never asked (unless I wanted to play them a song). Incidentally, I am now a professional classical musician and a rock/alternative musician in my free time, so I'm really grateful for my diverse background. I also listened to a lot of protest songs from the civil rights and Vietnam War era (Pete Seeger, etc.) when I was very young. I believe that it's good to expose kids to this type of music; it really teaches them about the world.

My own kids are still little, and they listen to lots of stuff. I'm not going to introduce music with more intense themes (death, heartbreak, drugs, etc.) until they're older, but they're only 3 and 5, so I don't see a reason to throw that on them. However, once they're old enough that they're getting their own music, I'm not going to monitor or restrict it. My husband and I are both musicians, so we'll probably all have lots of conversation about music (and play together, I hope!), but we'll never monitor it.

Thoughts? As a musician, I'm very interested in what other people have to say about this.
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:10 PM
 
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I come from a very musical family. Multiple family members are/have been amateur musicians/radio jocks/roadies/composers/studio musicians. I even have a cousin who was a genuine rock star.

For my own family it's always been "So and so is playing bass on this album" or we'd know the producer or the guy who swept up the studio so we'd put it on. Listening to music made by people you know is something special.

When I was growing up it was Big Band, Sinatra, Dixieland. I had a brother who would play classical in his room while my parents were listening to Della Reese in the living room. I was Beatles. And more Beatles. And my parents, to their credit, never said a word when I turned it up and the house shook. My dad would even have us play their new stuff so he could hear it. He'd listen and compare Ringo's drumming to Gene Krupa's.

We never censored what our sons listened to. To be honest, though, none of them listened to anything that made me say "NO" while they still lived at home. Some stuff is just way too crude and I don't want to hear it in my own home. Foul language mostly.

Otherwise, anything goes. Protest songs of the sixties. Folk. Celtic. Hammy old Mitch Miller. Sousa bands. If it's got a beat and a melody somebody in my family has it on an old 78 or an 8 track or a CD. You might as well ask us to not breathe as to not have music playing.

To tell you how ridiculous our connections are: Karen Carpenter's high school band teacher lived behind my parents' house. We used to listen to her sing when she was an unknown 15 year old. Thirty years later I lived in a house where the next door neighbor was Wynton Marsalis' best friend and we'd sit on the patio, eat red beans and rice, and listen to the Marsalis bothers jamming.

I think music is one of the biggest blessings we can give our kids. Writing music, playing music, listening to it. It just oozes creativity.

I'll admit to one form of blatant censorship. If we had the kids at a studio or someplace and people started sniffing coke and smoking pot the kids got ushered out. I had a zero tolerance policy on that.

Finster are you out there? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this!

Last edited by DewDropInn; 12-27-2010 at 04:46 PM..
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:26 PM
 
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We've never censored music either. I've never understood parents who do. But it's their choice to censor.

I'm not into dictating creative thinking. I preferred to allow my childen to find their own talents and "voice" in the world.

Their taste in music is varied---they like classical, rock, hip hop, etc. They seem to like everything BUT country.

They play a wide range of instruments too---one plays violin to drums and a few instruments in between.
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Old 12-27-2010, 04:43 PM
 
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When I was growing up my parents never censored our music. But we favored Bon Jovi, Bruce Springsteen and classic rock like the Rolling Stones. There really weren't songs with foul lyrics like there are today and the references to drugs and sex were less blatent.

I've never censored my kids' music, but if I heard them listening to rap songs with derogatory lyrics about women (hos and b**tches, etc.) or any music with racist or anti-gay lyrics I would turn it off immediately and we'd have a nice, long talk.

This hopefully, will never be an issue. In fact, sometimes when we're in the car together they will warn me if a song has some nasty lyrics so I can turn the station.

We play a lot of music at our house, mostly pop although I play some folk and classic children's CDs for my 10-month-old. I also encourage her to play her toy drum and xylophone as she enjoys music and it's good for brain development.

And we dance to Just Dance (the Wii game), which has all genres of music from Blondie to Lady GaGa and is a lot of fun.
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Old 12-27-2010, 05:21 PM
 
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My dad was really big on music. My parents also already knew I was musical when they adopted me cause the orphanage staff told them I used to spend most of my time in the music room, lol. I asked him if I could pick up the piano at 6 and guitar at 9 and he let me do both. He was a jazz aficionado and I inherited his passion for it and started playing piano gigs at age 10. My dad took us to concerts and everything and didn't care about censoring. His philosophy is mine, which is that good music is good and that's what matters. Good music also transcends genres. We would really listen to all kinds of music, all the time. Music is still a huge part of my life and I still listen to, play, and write music every day. I definitely want to pass down my passion for music to my kids. If they're not into it, that's fine, I won't force them, but I do want to give them the exposure so they have to opportunity to be musical as well.
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Old 12-27-2010, 05:30 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
My dad was really big on music. My parents also already knew I was musical when they adopted me cause the orphanage staff told them I used to spend most of my time in the music room, lol. I asked him if I could pick up the piano at 6 and guitar at 9 and he let me do both. He was a jazz aficionado and I inherited his passion for it and started playing piano gigs at age 10. My dad took us to concerts and everything and didn't care about censoring. His philosophy is mine, which is that good music is good and that's what matters. Good music also transcends genres. We would really listen to all kinds of music, all the time. Music is still a huge part of my life and I still listen to, play, and write music every day. I definitely want to pass down my passion for music to my kids. If they're not into it, that's fine, I won't force them, but I do want to give them the exposure so they have to opportunity to be musical as well.
Exactly!

I love your philosophies, and I love the way your dad raised you with such musical diversity!
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Old 12-27-2010, 06:35 PM
 
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Funny, as I read this post I'm watching one of the 'best of ..." shows on VH1. They were just talking about Dee Snider and the congress deal where her blew thwem away with an actual intelligent response to their accusations that he (and others of his genre) were damaging the nation's youth with their music.

Anyways, I've never censored my kid's music. Heck, as a child I loved Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water"... I can picture the LP's album cover. It just facinated me. My momma, being european, was in Europe when the Stones and Beatles began. She is a very musical person and taught me how to blast a stereo.

My oldest is very much into 80's rock. He has taught himself how to play guitar and this is the music he plays. When he was a baby he would always be tapping his foot (many times I looked back at him in his car seat and he'd be listening intently) to whatever was on the radio. From Santana, Aerosmith, Charlie Daniels, to Rugrats and Wee Sing. When he got older, he would identify the instruments... guitar, pinano (his way of saying piano) harmonica, dwums... etc. By the time he was in preK, he was asking me to explain the 'story' of the song. Even if the 'story' was risque or involved adult behavior, I would give him the story as best I could in age appropriate language.

For Christmas this year, I refused to buy him a guitar (good grief... he has five), instead we got him a mixing/recording board and two hours of studio time.

This year, my son performed live for the first time. In a bar (insert collective gasp). It was a graduation party that the owner gave to the highschool senoirs. For the gaspers, it was in the early evening and none of the teenagers could go into the bar area. Anyway, it was an open mic. My son was the only act to perform alone (with just a backing track) and a strictly musical (no lyrics) piece. While, I am his momma and I am biased, he performed exceptionally well. He has only been playing for a couple years and is mostly self taught.

My youngest is more into the pop/bubble-gum stuff of 10 year old girls. If I were a momma to censor, I'd ban that crap. But it is her style at the moment and if she likes it, I will endure it until she musically matures some.
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Old 12-27-2010, 07:53 PM
 
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No pop music allowed in my home but I wish my kids would stop telling me to turn down the volume, they don't realize how much they sound like their grandfather. Luckily my kids like pretty much the same music I do so it's not an issue, classic rock, new rock, metal and some country but not pop country.
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Old 12-27-2010, 07:57 PM
 
Location: Kerkrade, Limburg, Netherlands
262 posts, read 446,682 times
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Also I am from a very musical family. My dad played music for his living for like 20years. My brother sister and I all started at the age of 8 with an instrument.

They never monitored our music, unless if it got really extreme with 50times f*** in a song or serious badmouthing they would tell us about it. But we never really listened to music like that.

My brother had a period of blackmetal, my mum forbid him wearing bandshirts with death people and stuff on it though
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Old 12-27-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
No pop music allowed in my home but I wish my kids would stop telling me to turn down the volume, they don't realize how much they sound like their grandfather. Luckily my kids like pretty much the same music I do so it's not an issue, classic rock, new rock, metal and some country but not pop country.
Just out of curiosity, why do you not allow pop music? What are the characteristics of pop music that are worse than country, metal, etc.? Is it that you think that the music is of lower quality, or does it have to do with the "pop" culture?

At the risk of sounding like a music snob , I do think that a lot of pop music is often pretty crappy. Not all, but a lot of the mainstream pop. I still listen to some of it, though...
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