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Old 12-29-2010, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Norman, OK.
118 posts, read 245,606 times
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The best way to have more friends is invite you friends to spend the nite with you, often, and different ones all the time, you will make lots of friends that way.
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Old 03-10-2015, 06:40 AM
 
11,615 posts, read 19,738,691 times
Reputation: 12051
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousGirl View Post
I am a senior in high school,and outside of school I do not hang out with anyone,text with anyone,talk with anyone on the phone. Most of my peers at schools are or seem immature or a troublemaker or both,so I keep my distance from them.But I guess I can try harder to make friends. Anyway,this worries my mom,and she thinks that I will be like this when I become an adult also. My question is,parents would you be worried if this was your child and they seem to have no close friends,and would you think that your child would be the same as an adult?
Are you happy?
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Old 03-10-2015, 10:30 AM
 
Location: NYC
11,835 posts, read 7,723,311 times
Reputation: 12819
I don't think it's a big deal. A loner kid could simply mean that he/she has a different view or personality than those around.

I was once a very popular kid in school with lots of friends but as I grew older I realize I don't enjoy being with those kids anymore and became more alone. I didn't feel lonely I just had different interests, once I got to HS I was able to meet kids that were more similar to me and had my own set of friends.
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Old 03-10-2015, 05:30 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,437 posts, read 41,696,241 times
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OP is 5 years older now and probably has a very different life now. But even if she/he is still a "loner" doesn't necessarily mean he is miserable.

One of my daughters is extremely shy and while very outgoing and bubbly at home and with her family, around others and especially in school she is very reserved. She has a sister only 4 months younger and they are best friends. I used to worry about her shyness but have come to recognize it is part of her personality and I don't see it getting in the way of her happiness.
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Old 03-12-2015, 10:02 AM
 
12,447 posts, read 14,587,292 times
Reputation: 14171
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousGirl View Post
I am a senior in high school,and outside of school I do not hang out with anyone,text with anyone,talk with anyone on the phone. Most of my peers at schools are or seem immature or a troublemaker or both,so I keep my distance from them.But I guess I can try harder to make friends. Anyway,this worries my mom,and she thinks that I will be like this when I become an adult also. My question is,parents would you be worried if this was your child and they seem to have no close friends,and would you think that your child would be the same as an adult?
No, AnonymousGirl, I wouldn't be worried in the least....I can totally understand what you mean when you say your peers are immature, or troublemakers. I have two children who completed their total education at home because of that. The two who went to public school are no longer are in touch with their peers from that time...Schools are for learning, not cultivating friendships. My children have not suffered, and the friendships they do have now have been based on mutual respect for each other....not just on age.
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Old 03-12-2015, 10:10 AM
 
752 posts, read 537,748 times
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I would worry if I thought my child was lonely, or might like friends. I would not worry if I knew my child just wasn't interested in socializing. However, I would have to KNOW that they don't really care about friends, because I know that a lot of lonely kids really do want friends but are embarrassed to say so.

I find the following statement interesting:
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonymousGirl View Post
Most of my peers at schools are or seem immature or a troublemaker or both,so I keep my distance from them.
If I was your mom, I'd be happy that you are choosing to avoid kids that are troublemakers!

However, it also occurs to me that if you think most of your peers are immature or troublemakers, maybe you're in the wrong environment? If it's possible to change schools, you could look into other schools to see if there is one that fits you better. Or maybe you could look for some kind of club or activity with people that you identify better with?

But if you're not interested in socializing right now, don't worry about it. Lack of socialization is only a problem if it bothers you.
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Old 03-14-2015, 11:59 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
3,749 posts, read 2,003,359 times
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Meh, I wouldn't worry too much in high school. It's an artificial environment like someone else said.

I absolutely hated middle school, and didn't really like high school all that much (though it was a bit better than middle school for sure). College has been a blast for me, and I've made a lot of caring friends and acquaintances. You couldn't pay me enough for me to want to go back and relive my middle and high school years.
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Old 03-15-2015, 11:31 AM
 
384 posts, read 385,634 times
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Sounds to me like you don't think any of the kids you see every day are worth becoming your friend - your descriptions make them seem like they do a lot of negative things.

I'd be FAR more worried if you just HAD to have friends and decided that hanging out with some troublemakers was worth it. And trust me, it's not. (I take the 5th on all possible troublemaking that may or may not have occurred in my own past ).

Stay on YOUR path. You'll find friends with common likes and interests as life goes on.

As others have noted, High School is a mess of hormones and immaturity that can (not always), but can, put many people in an environment where they just don't fit.

I think back to my high school days. I had a good number of friends and a few close ones, but I also saw quite a few people that were just shy. And yes, some social outcasts that didn't really fit - those are the ones I worried about. Some of them later blossomed, and some didn't.

The shy kids almost all would later thrive and become fantastic people. Most just needed a little more serious environment based on something beside ability to dress, play a sport, or party. College was awesome for those folks. Especially the super smart that came alive when finally surrounded by other really smart people.
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Old 03-15-2015, 11:35 AM
 
384 posts, read 385,634 times
Reputation: 685
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
Meh, I wouldn't worry too much in high school. It's an artificial environment like someone else said.

I absolutely hated middle school, and didn't really like high school all that much (though it was a bit better than middle school for sure). College has been a blast for me, and I've made a lot of caring friends and acquaintances. You couldn't pay me enough for me to want to go back and relive my middle and high school years.
I enjoyed most of my growing up years - except for a few summers with my so called neighborhood friends who were flat mean

But even for the enjoyable parts of high school, I 100% agree. Nothing would be worth going back and repeating all that again. Even when it's good, its full of silliness and "crap" that you eventually learn was just not important.

Even college was fun, but nothing I'd want to repeat. Forward - always forward. I like to think my best days are in front of me, even when some of the past was pretty dang good itself.
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Old 03-28-2015, 11:26 AM
 
3 posts, read 2,067 times
Reputation: 10
We have 2 teens, one has a large circle of friends who are spoiled, sneaky and run around, the other has a few friends that hang around our home, play video games and get fast food. The one with few friends is much more content. Make small talk with a classmate who may seem in a similar situation as yourself, start out with studying in library, then home, then lunch, hang out at home with them or...that person may or may not have a small circle you can join. Less is more, from my experience...
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