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Old 01-02-2011, 09:36 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
It could very well be the "suddenness" of the automatic toilets. She's all exposed and all of a sudden "woosh!". Noise. Sudden action she can't see.

Public bathrooms are an assault on the senses. Odd shaped toilets. (Yes. It can bother some kids.) Too many people you don't know. Noisy. Smell. Is she a clean freak? Walking into a public bathroom with other people's messes is not good if you're a germophobe. Hate to tell you this, Finster, but I still don't like using them. Some people don't "grow out" we "adjust". I'm available for consultations.
Yes, that's exactly it, and quite frankly I feel the same way! Somebody gave me some good advice previously, to carry post-its and put them over the eye thingy - which would be great, if I could get her to go in them at all.

She's not particularly a clean freak, but she is shy so it's not a good combo all round, going into a room full of strangers going about their, um, business.
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Old 01-02-2011, 09:42 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Yes, that's exactly it, and quite frankly I feel the same way! Somebody gave me some good advice previously, to carry post-its and put them over the eye thingy - which would be great, if I could get her to go in them at all.

She's not particularly a clean freak, but she is shy so it's not a good combo all round, going into a room full of strangers going about their, um, business.
I'm not usually one for the reward system for something as routine as going to the john but I'm making an exception. I'd think about a small prize for using the public bathroom? Only because "holding it" is not good physically. I feel for you. And her. I'm having flashbacks..
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Old 01-02-2011, 09:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I'm not usually one for the reward system for something as routine as going to the john but I'm making an exception. I'd think about a small prize for using the public bathroom? Only because "holding it" is not good physically. I feel for you. And her. I'm having flashbacks..
That sounds like a good idea. I'll probably get raked over the coals for this, but at the moment we just put a diaper on when we go out shopping or whatever so that if she really has to go she can. She doesn't do it most of the time but I'm hesitant to make a huge issue out of going to a public toilet. She'll go to kids' ones - there's one a an indoor play type place that we go to that she doesn't mind going into - it's just the big noisy ones where you can hear the goings on from outside that she's worried about.

I've just found with her that if we don't make a big deal out of certain things and let her come to it in her own good time then she usually does. Of course that might change if we haven't sorted it out by the time she goes to preschool later this year.

Apologies for the OTness of this post.

Last edited by FinsterRufus; 01-02-2011 at 09:52 AM.. Reason: I put next year forgetting it is next year
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Old 01-02-2011, 01:55 PM
 
15,287 posts, read 16,833,735 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
It could very well be the "suddenness" of the automatic toilets. She's all exposed and all of a sudden "woosh!". Noise. Sudden action she can't see.

Public bathrooms are an assault on the senses. Odd shaped toilets. (Yes. It can bother some kids.) Too many people you don't know. Noisy. Smell. Is she a clean freak? Walking into a public bathroom with other people's messes is not good if you're a germophobe. Hate to tell you this, Finster, but I still don't like using them. Some people don't "grow out" we "adjust". I'm available for consultations.
Tip for the automatic toilets. Carry postits. Place a postit over the eye and the toilet will not flush until you take it off.
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Old 01-03-2011, 06:19 PM
 
Location: 89074
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Have to agree on public toilets. My dd with sensory issues hates them. She can tolerate the flushing but not those obnoxious hand dryers. We just grab tissue on the way out to dry our hands.

To the OP, if you do want to try a movie sometime, you could find out if your movie theater has something called 'Sensory Friendly' showings. Many of the chains are trying it. They have no previews, brighter lighting, allow talking and moving around, and of course, lower volume. They are aimed at people with special needs but all are welcome.
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Old 01-04-2011, 09:05 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Back to the topic at hand...

I was a very sensitive child. Everything must have been multiplied somewhere in my brain. There are things, like bright lights, I still have problems with. (The good news is I can practically see in the dark.) But the older I got the more I learnd to cope with the fact that the world didn't slow down (or turn down the lights) just because I had a problem. And I adjusted.

The dark rides at Disneyland freaked me out. Dogs feaked me out. Now I love both.

The most creative people I know would all say they were sensitive as kids. I came to look at it as a plus. (Read Truman Capote and watch his old interviews.)
Not to add labels, but just trying to be an awareness to a phenomenon that does happen more often than we think.

The Highly Sensitive Person
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Old 01-04-2011, 09:11 AM
 
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I hated movies as a kid. I had extremely sensitive hearing (I could hear at decibel levels and frequencies considered beyond human range). On top of my physiologically acute hearing, I'm also Asperger's so loud noise would cause me physical pain. I had a lot of sensory processing issues with my vision and hearing. I'm deafblind now so it's not as much an issue but when I tried wearing a hearing aid I had to take it off after a week because I just couldn't stand the sounds. They were so loud and the quality of the sound was awful! It was like an assault on my brain.

The vibrations still scare me at the movies--lol! I went to a movie deaf-blind and had a tactile interpreter but every time there was a loud part to the soundtrack, I could feel the vibrations, and it would make me jump!

I also hated any sort of scary movies as a kid cause it exacerbated my anxiety, so I totally feel your daughter's pain! I would get a full-blown panic attack in the movies if I went to a scary movie.

Watching movies that aren't scary, that are light or at least comedy-drama and not too intense, or that are informational without being all doom and gloom can be helpful. Happy endings were a must for me too--even if not realistic--I needed to leave the movies with a good feeling. That might help make a difference for your daughter too. Watching movies at home is easier too cause you can always pause the movie and walk away if it gets too intense (and might I mention, save a lot of money too). You're also in the comfort of your own home which can help with anxiety.

I agree with other posts that therapy is overkill, but you could try to explain to your twins you love that they are so close but it's also okay to be your own person and do things as an independent person sometimes. There's a balance between being totally independent and totally codependent. You mentioned they're adopted too and a lot of adopted kids have a hard time finding that balance when it comes to attachment, so it might be worth working on that now before the pattern becomes too ingrained.
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Old 01-04-2011, 11:53 AM
 
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Excellent points and excellent post, Nim. The link to "The Highly Sensitive Person" is a must-read for anyone who has a sensitive child. (Or who is a "sensitive" themselves.) Many thanks.
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Old 01-04-2011, 11:56 AM
 
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Finster I am totally feeling your pain, my son is TERRIFIED of the self flushing toilets. He's 4.5 everything was fine for the first 1.5 yrs he was using the restroom then a few months ago he was using a self flushing toliet and it flushed while he was sitting there. Oh dear, I can still see it and I wish I could rewind! He is now soooo scared of the toilets that even inside of people's homes I have to assure him it's not self flushing. He flat out refuses to use the self flushing ones, no amount of bribery will work. The other day I felt so bad; he pooped himself (for the first time ever) because we were some place he knew had self flushing toilets. Poor kid was so upset! I feel so bad because I see in his face that it's not just stuborness it's outright anxiety and distress I really hope he out grows it soon!

no kudzu--I think it's awesome that your daughters have such a strong bond! I wouldn't worry about it too much for now, especially if the non-sensitive one is not bothered by having to miss the movie. The theatre is so pricey now a days you're saving a ton!
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Old 01-04-2011, 12:11 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Excellent points and excellent post, Nim. The link to "The Highly Sensitive Person" is a must-read for anyone who has a sensitive child. (Or who is a "sensitive" themselves.) Many thanks.
Glad it helped you. It helped explain a lot of things when someone showed me too. It's also helpful cause many people get a lot of flack as kids for being sensitive.
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