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Old 01-01-2011, 12:36 PM
 
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We teach our children proper phone etiquette, and we expect them to follow it. The children probably were instructed to not answer the phone if the parents weren't home. That's a matter of safety. Granted, the way the child responded was unacceptable. However, why were you calling so frequently if it wasn't an emergency? That seems a little obsessive. And not to defend the child's bad manners, but yours weren't any better. It isn't exactly good manners to keep call once or twice an hour because someone isn't answering.

My FIL does that. He'll call the house phone and then our cell phones repeatedly (not mine anymore because he doesn't have my new cell number for this very reason) not because there is anything important to say but because he feels like talking right now. Well, when he wants to talk doesn't always line up with when we're available for a long conversation.

I'll confess it right here, we don't always answer our phones. We don't answer if we are enjoying family time or if we are eating dinner. I don't answer if I just don't want to talk. I can understand always answering in the days before answering machines and voicemail, but these days, I don't think it's necessary to answer the phone every time it rings. I figure if I pay the bill, the phone is there for my convenience and not the convenience of the caller.
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Old 01-01-2011, 12:48 PM
 
235 posts, read 411,165 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by lucygirl951 View Post
We teach our children proper phone etiquette, and we expect them to follow it. The children probably were instructed to not answer the phone if the parents weren't home. That's a matter of safety. Granted, the way the child responded was unacceptable. However, why were you calling so frequently if it wasn't an emergency? That seems a little obsessive. And not to defend the child's bad manners, but yours weren't any better. It isn't exactly good manners to keep call once or twice an hour because someone isn't answering.
Why was I calling so frequently? It is because I know that you are home and that I would like to talk to you so I can get some last minute questions answered as I have a problem and I need your answer otherwise I can't continue to do what I was doing. It isn't exactly good manners when you don't pickup the phone either especially if it's someone calling a few time zones away and it's saving them a few bucks on the phone bill as it's convenient for them to call you and not you to call them?

Quote:
My FIL does that. He'll call the house phone and then our cell phones repeatedly (not mine anymore because he doesn't have my new cell number for this very reason) not because there is anything important to say but because he feels like talking right now. Well, when he wants to talk doesn't always line up with when we're available for a long conversation.
Quote:
I'll confess it right here, we don't always answer our phones. We don't answer if we are enjoying family time or if we are eating dinner. I don't answer if I just don't want to talk. I can understand always answering in the days before answering machines and voicemail, but these days, I don't think it's necessary to answer the phone every time it rings. I figure if I pay the bill, the phone is there for my convenience and not the convenience of the caller.
That is quite understandable to not answer if it's family time, dinner, etc. but if someone is a few time zones away doesn't know that then how do they feel when they call at that time and you can't be bothered to return their call? I'm not trying to be mean but I wasn't taught to ignore people's phone calls no matter if it's family or not. Telemarketers and numbers I don't know I don't answer it.

But that doesn't answer the question of what can I do to resolve this?
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:06 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,681,014 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dhammerman2003 View Post
I don't quite understand this. Here's the scenario:

I call your house and I would like to speak to you and your kids/parents. I know that you are home but nobody picks up the phone. Finally after 10 phone calls (1-2 every hour) your kids call me back and tell me "is someone dying if not then stop calling." "Where is mom and dad?" "They aren't home" "Can you tell them to call me back?"

I don't understand why the kids couldn't tell me this the first time I called. I don't get it I was raised that whenever someone calls you pickup the phone (unless you don't know who it is or it's a telemarketer) no matter if it's someone that you don't want to talk to or it's family.

I mean I get the kids point of view that it's annoying when someone is calling multiple times throughout the day but don't you think it's also annoying that the other person wants to talk to you and the occupants of the house but you refuse to pick the phone up?

How do you handle this? Is it bad parenting? Were the kids not taught proper phone etiquette when it comes to answering the phone, etc.?

"[LEFT]Ugh...why do people call up to 4+ times w/out leaving a voicemail??? If I don't answer, leave a message! DUH!!" "[/LEFT][LEFT]They want to t talk to you not a machine!"
[/LEFT]

I would tell his parents you thought it was a little rude...chances are they have no clue.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:16 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,368,217 times
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I almost hate to bring this up but... Maybe no one wanted to talk to you and they made the kids talk to you (finally) as a way to get you to stop calling? Not saying it wasn't tremendously impolite just a possible scenario.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:29 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,681,014 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I almost hate to bring this up but... Maybe no one wanted to talk to you and they made the kids talk to you (finally) as a way to get you to stop calling? Not saying it wasn't tremendously impolite just a possible scenario.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:29 PM
 
2,514 posts, read 5,180,119 times
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They obviously didn't want to talk to you. That's the reason I have caller ID and an answering machine. I don't always pick up if I'm busy w/ family, pets or working in my office. Do you not have a cell number or email address of these people?

I agree the child was very rude, but you were rude to keep calling every hour. It may or may not have been rude for the people not to pick up. I don't know their circumstances for not picking up.


Quote:
Originally Posted by psr13 View Post
We always were told as kids to answer the phone. If someone asked for our parents, we were supposed to say they were busy and couldn't get to the phone. It follows the same logic of answering the door. A number of robbers will knock on your door, and if you don't answer they assume no one is home. That leads to a break in.
A number of robbers? Where do you live? I certainly don't want my daughter answering the door to a stranger. If someone is to assume we're not home, they'll have to get through our dogs and alarm system. I don't instruct my daughter to answer the phone because we have an answering machine. If it's important, leave a message. If someone really needs to get a hold of me, they call my cell.


Quote:
Originally Posted by paganmama80 View Post
I would tell his parents you thought it was a little rude...chances are they have no clue.
Pretty hard to tell the parents when they won't pick up the phone.
If they were home, chances are they were getting PO'd for the multiple phone calls and had the son call back.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:31 PM
 
235 posts, read 411,165 times
Reputation: 41
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
I almost hate to bring this up but... Maybe no one wanted to talk to you and they made the kids talk to you (finally) as a way to get you to stop calling? Not saying it wasn't tremendously impolite just a possible scenario.
Well if that were the case why didn't they just tell me that? I don't mean to be mean but I'm just trying to figure out why couldn't they just pickup the phone and talk to me?

Yeah I understand it can be a little annoying when the same person keeps calling but don't you think how the other person reacts when they are trying to get a hold of you yet you refuse to talk to them and it's sending a message to the other person that says "nobody in this house wants to talk to you. Goodbye or get the %^@ out of our lives and stop @%^$%$ calling or they are family ignore it" I'm sorry but I wasn't raised to ignore any phone calls no matter if it's from family or friends.

I mean I've been trying to reach this person since before Xmas and they haven't returned my call except for their son who said "is someone dying if not stop calling"

I find it extremely rude and hurtful when someone doesn't return your phone call in a timely manner. I don't care if you are busy or not if you can't find time to return someones phone calls then either you don't give a darn about that person or you are doing to hurt and despite them or flat out being rude.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:40 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,681,014 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dhammerman2003 View Post
Well if that were the case why didn't they just tell me that? I don't mean to be mean but I'm just trying to figure out why couldn't they just pickup the phone and talk to me?

Yeah I understand it can be a little annoying when the same person keeps calling but don't you think how the other person reacts when they are trying to get a hold of you yet you refuse to talk to them and it's sending a message to the other person that says "nobody in this house wants to talk to you. Goodbye or get the %^@ out of our lives and stop @%^$%$ calling or they are family ignore it" I'm sorry but I wasn't raised to ignore any phone calls no matter if it's from family or friends.

I mean I've been trying to reach this person since before Xmas and they haven't returned my call except for their son who said "is someone dying if not stop calling"

I find it extremely rude and hurtful when someone doesn't return your phone call in a timely manner. I don't care if you are busy or not if you can't find time to return someones phone calls then either you don't give a darn about that person or you are doing to hurt and despite them or flat out being rude.

well if whatever you need to do benefits then then just stop is all.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:43 PM
 
15,308 posts, read 16,867,859 times
Reputation: 15029
Quote:
Originally Posted by dhammerman2003 View Post
I mean I've been trying to reach this person since before Xmas and they haven't returned my call except for their son who said "is someone dying if not stop calling"

I find it extremely rude and hurtful when someone doesn't return your phone call in a timely manner. I don't care if you are busy or not if you can't find time to return someones phone calls then either you don't give a darn about that person or you are doing to hurt and despite them or flat out being rude.
Obviously, they did not want to talk to you. Perhaps what you wanted information about was totally annoying to them.

If you had some kind of business arrangement and needed an answer, maybe you should have used email rather than calling them at home.
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Old 01-01-2011, 01:48 PM
 
3,084 posts, read 6,472,158 times
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My younger two are rarely home alone, however they have also been instructed to not answer the phone unless it were to be someone from a specific list of people.

If they were home and the phone was ringing that often with the same person calling, they would probably call my cell and tell me. I would then likely tell them to either keep ignoring it and let it ring or give them permission to answer it next time and inform that persistent caller that mom and dad aren't home.

If it were still the time before answering machines and cell phones and you didn't get anyone on the phone, what would you have done? I would imagine you would have either made your own call as to what to do next or put it down and waited until you did get in touch with them. Don't be mad at them because they weren't at your service instantly, no matter what the reason. No one has the right to demand instant communication from one who can't or won't give it.

If you want to take issue with the response you got from the kids, then discuss that with the parents and let them handle it.
If you want to get in contact with the parents quicker than this time, then ask them how is the best way to get your answers. It could be by texting, emailing, or leaving a message and waiting for the return call.

I specifically have a prepaid cell phone and don't give out the number to very many people because I do NOT want to be available 24/7 to people. We don't always answer our phone at home either and would be offended by so many calls in such a short time....just saying.
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