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Old 01-02-2011, 07:49 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,877,424 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katiana View Post
I don't look at it as shielding as much as protecting your kids from that which you can. That is the parent's job. The news can be awful at times, and generally is short sound bites with no context. When JonBenet Ramsey was killed, we had a lot of coverage about it on the Denver TV stations. My kids, then 10 and 13, started getting very upset hearing about this little girl being killed night after night after night. I finally told them not to watch the news any more. It helped.
Yes, the same goes for violent movies - I think it's good to keep childhood somewhat an innocent and protected time but it depends on the violence. I didn't keep my kids from Jurassic Park type movies but extreme violence that is too much reality I don't think is healthy for young children.

I also believe in extending childhood - that is 11 year olds should not be little adults, they should be children, it's a short enough time as it is, that making them grow up too fast is robbing them. Even adulthood reached at age 18 doesn't have to mean the kid has to be out of the house and on their own - they should know how to hold a job but don't need to have to have many bills to pay and all the adult responsibilities, it's good to teach them how to delay some of that, be kids and carefree to some extent.
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Old 01-02-2011, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,070 posts, read 99,122,332 times
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I agree. I've never been one for this "throw them out the door" when they turn 18. Mine went out of state to college and learned a lot of "life management skills" in their late teen years. And now, in their own apts, they're doing just fine.
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Old 01-02-2011, 08:44 PM
 
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We have always given our kids age appropriate responsibilities-from putting their dirty clothing in the basket at age 2 to fully cleaning the house by age 10. They are now teenagers and if need be, they could 'run' a household. They are also kids-they have sleepovers, got out with friends, act goofy, etc. They had a bunch of kids over for New Year's Eve and a lot of laughing and fun going on.

DS15 "missed" his orthodontist appointment the other day. HE will call and reschedule, not me. I expect the kids to make their own plans to do things and fill me in on the details as necessary.

Our two youngest are starting the college search process, THEY will call the schools to set up tours, etc. If they have an issue at school, THEY talk with their teachers, etc. We go to parent/teacher conferences to meet the teachers but that is about it.

DS18 is in his first year in college, about 4 hours away. He has even made comments about how so many kids in his dorm can't seem to do anything without checking with mom and dad first. It's sad.

DH has gotten calls from parents (moms) when he hasn't given a job to someone. Mom calls to ask why precious didn't get the job-DH's standard reply is "the fact that you are calling me should be a good indication why". They never get it--these are jobs that require a college degree.
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Old 01-02-2011, 08:54 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,694,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
This is one reason I never give my kids allowances. They need to learn the first thing about money is you have to work for it if you want any. They don't get cell phones with unlimited texting or calls for the same reason. They learn to become independent adults by not having everything they want.

So you make the allowance conditional on the chores they do *above and beyond the basic*. When we grew up we had certain ones expected ie *make your bed, put laundry in basket,clean your plate etc. But our parents left a list on the fridge with things we didn't have to do but if we did we got a fee for them...depending on how much work was to be done the fee changed. And if they were all done within the time frame and satisfactory we would ever get a bonus. So we quickly learned that banding together helped us get more money .
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Old 01-02-2011, 08:59 PM
 
Location: maryland
3,967 posts, read 5,694,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Yes, the same goes for violent movies - I think it's good to keep childhood somewhat an innocent and protected time but it depends on the violence. I didn't keep my kids from Jurassic Park type movies but extreme violence that is too much reality I don't think is healthy for young children.

I also believe in extending childhood - that is 11 year olds should not be little adults, they should be children, it's a short enough time as it is, that making them grow up too fast is robbing them. Even adulthood reached at age 18 doesn't have to mean the kid has to be out of the house and on their own - they should know how to hold a job but don't need to have to have many bills to pay and all the adult responsibilities, it's good to teach them how to delay some of that, be kids and carefree to some extent.

However extending it to long guarantees they with become boomerang children and not able to face the world. The issue is it's very hard in this modern age to treat an 11 year old totally like a child because in middle school you can't shield them any longer and maintain that magical enviorment.
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Old 01-03-2011, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,191,177 times
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Some kids are probably learning more about the "larger world" today due to the bad economy...Parents face lay-offs and foreclosures and having to cutback and "say no" to many things their kids want...It's a rough time for many families in the USA today and this all has to be explained to kids...My Dad worked as a butcher in packing houses when I was growing up and he was always at risk to be laid-off or he might go on a strike when his union signed a new contract with his employer...My parents sat down and explained all of it to me in a way I could understand...Sometimes we had to cutback a little bit if my Dad was out of work for a period of time but we "weathered the storm" together and I was "in the know" about what was going on....I appreciated being included versus being "left in the dark."...I tried to be honest and upfront with my kids too in age-appropriate ways...My parents expected me to pay attention to events in the "larger world" too and we had nightly discussions about local and national events and politics etc...I had a chance to get to know my parents really well through all of our discussions and they encouraged me to think and form opinions of my own. ...We played too and laughed together and "got silly."
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Old 01-03-2011, 01:49 PM
 
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Our big things that we would like our children to learn is empathy, love of learning, social awareness and community involvement. I think everything else will fall in line if we impart the importance of the above.

We give them and continue to give them opportunities where they can help others, where they can learn and see the fruit of their education, etc.
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