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Old 01-04-2011, 01:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by txtqueen View Post
Maybe he's too scared to say something...idk.

Maybe?
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Old 01-04-2011, 01:41 PM
 
Location: Incognito
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Ok people, I messed up. I meant I work over 15 hrs A DAY!!!
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Old 01-04-2011, 02:16 PM
 
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As our kids have gotten older, we've found that we enjoy sex more if we wait until the kids are not at home. Dad comes home for lunch now - while the kids are in school. One more reason why my husband likes me being a sahm.

When they are home, we just make sure they are asleep and we sometimes play music or even run the dryer (the dryer is right outside their bedroom) to sort of muffle sounds.

But we're also really open with our kids. We share and discuss everything. We don't want them to feel like sex is a bad or dirty thing. We want them to know that sex can be fun and healthy, but that you also have to be responsible about it - just like with anything that's worth doing. We also want them to make good decisions and to be prepared for when they get older and start to have feelings like wanting to experiment with sexual urges and wondering what to do with those kinds of feelings. It can be really confusing for kids when they turn into sexually mature older people (people develop sexually at different ages) if they aren't prepared in a healthy and loving way. So we always talk openly about sex in our family. If they are old enough to ask the questions or be curious about it, they are old enough to know. That's our stance.

In the latest Harry Potter film there's a somewhat naked kissing scene. I wasn't prepared for that, but it didn't phase our kids at all. I mentioned something, about my feelings of surprise when they showed that scene, and the kids were like, "So? What's the big deal mom?"
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Old 01-04-2011, 05:57 PM
 
Location: maryland
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabinerose View Post
Clearly he's NOT asleep... he's standing outside their door.

maybe he is waking up...ever consider that one?
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Old 01-05-2011, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Northern California
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At 10 years old he definitely needs a talk about some of the basics, and the fact that adults need alone time. I seriously doubt he is upset, scared, lonely, etc; I think he is curious to know what is going on behind the door that only the adults are doing.
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:40 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Cat View Post
I have found my son a few times standing by our bedroom door, listening in while the wife and I get our freak on.

This is usually late at night and we are EXTREMELY quiet when at it, so quiet that I could hear his footsteps as he approaches or bedroom door.

The last time I busted him, he claimed he was about to knock on the door to let us know he had a bellyache.

He keeps on stressing on the fact that we (his parents) sometimes need time for ourselves and that doesn't mean it is just to do the dirty deed.

Last night he told me he wanted for us to have more family activities instead of planning for some time alone.

How do I deal with this? Should I have a talk about the birds and bees with him at 10 years old?
Occasionally, one of my youngsters would approach the door, and it was usually because they wanted something, but were hesitant to ask. I finally ended that making sure they had taken care of all their needs before bed, and then telling them very frankly that mommy and daddy like to **** sometimes, and if they don't want to see, they'd best stay away..Usually they get all red and say eeeeuuuu, I don't want to know, don't tell me that...but they also get the message...loud and clear.
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Old 01-06-2011, 09:58 AM
 
Location: maryland
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman View Post
Occasionally, one of my youngsters would approach the door, and it was usually because they wanted something, but were hesitant to ask. I finally ended that making sure they had taken care of all their needs before bed, and then telling them very frankly that mommy and daddy like to **** sometimes, and if they don't want to see, they'd best stay away..Usually they get all red and say eeeeuuuu, I don't want to know, don't tell me that...but they also get the message...loud and clear.
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Old 01-09-2011, 04:51 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jb03 View Post
Have you thought, it could be because of your attempts at being EXTREMELY quiet that there's some degree of curiosity. ('what is so fun and so important that they're being so secretive?')

Try being louder while you're getting your freak on. That way, he'll stay away. And you'll get some good quality traumatizing in. I believe that's a two birds, one stone situation.

But seriously, sounds like he's an only child? That could explain some of the 'don't shut me out' feelings (and he is sounding kind of left out). And I'd say 10 year olds should know/already know more than you think about birds and bees, so that would definitely be a good conversation to have whether that's what his behavior is really about or not.
I also suspect only child. At that age, they can wake up to bad dreams or feel alone and seek out company - as he approaches the parents' room he wonders about weird noises.

I don't know if the child has to be told that the weird noises have to do with the parents having sex. I think it could be better to make sure there's a lock on the door and play music or put the tv on so the noises aren't as obvious.

Maybe a dog or cat in his room, or some kind of pet to keep him company at night and maybe he's not tired enough when he's put to bed so that he's waking up too easily.

My kids at that age would sleep through everything but they didn't have bed times so they usually went to bed tired.
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Old 01-10-2011, 02:15 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Am I the only one wondering if the 10 year old knows exactly what is going on?

Regardless, in today's world especially, if he's ten and doesn't know the facts of life he's way past due for "the talk". And why 3 nights a week structured "family time"? Don't you get together as a family every night and just hang? Watching TV or whatever? (Or do you work?)

One more: I don't think the term "get your freak on" brings out the prude in anyone. The use of the term implies a certain age/mentality/knowledge of use of words in the Urban Dictionary. When I was your age it was just, "Get it on."
Yes, he knows and wants more information about sex. Right now, this is the only education he feels he has access to.

Please give him the talk! Be specific. I told my girls about sex at age 8 and they already knew some stuff by then.

And for good measure, be sure and let him know that sex is what you two are doing in there. Penises, vaginas, orgasms, etc. He should be a little horrified and embarrassed, then he will give you all the space you want, and will develop a lifetime respect for the privacy of the act, as he should.
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