U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-06-2011, 01:32 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,000,336 times
Reputation: 30256

Advertisements

Stress has been a constant struggle for me through my parenting years.

Parenting is the most stressful thing I've done in my life.

To make it worse, being parents doesn't afford much time for ourselves and we tend to put others first.

Do you make time for yourself? Or do you always put everyone elses needs first (like I do)?

How do you, as a parent, manage and reduce stress? How do you fit it into your daily busy life as a parent?

I'd love to hear parents thoughts on this!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-06-2011, 01:52 PM
 
Location: In the AC
972 posts, read 2,077,472 times
Reputation: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Stress has been a constant struggle for me through my parenting years.

Parenting is the most stressful thing I've done in my life.

To make it worse, being parents doesn't afford much time for ourselves and we tend to put others first.

Do you make time for yourself? Or do you always put everyone elses needs first (like I do)?

How do you, as a parent, manage and reduce stress? How do you fit it into your daily busy life as a parent?

I'd love to hear parents thoughts on this!
This came to a head for our family last summer, then we had several unexpected deaths from relatives close to my age. It was a wake up call to get back to focusing on what was important. In my case, working full time while juggling everything else was just too much. I was able to find a part time job that lets me do what I love without the hassles of the full time version. As a family, we decided that we would rather cut back to have better balance for everyone.

"Where you invest your love, you invest your life!" From Awake your Soul by Mumford & Sons.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 02:58 PM
 
3,741 posts, read 2,920,687 times
Reputation: 4678
This is obvious, but it is much easier to take time for myself now that both children are in school for part of the day. Then I can get to the beach and take a walk (by myself) for an hour....or DH and I can go to lunch. I can go back to bed after they go to school. And you know all the other time honored things, like hot baths, a glass of wine or cuppa tea, a good talk on the phone.

Mostly though I have found I need to relax my own perfectionist standards. For example, I love to cook, and I would make DH and I an awesome meal every night. But I have found we are all happier if I just fix something easy and quick like hot sandwiches or pasta or grilling a steak and we all eat together for an early dinner rather than spend an hour on something fancy just for the 2 of us. (Although sometimes I still do).

The house being a mess all the time...this is a major source of stress for me. I really like a clean house; it calms my mind. But it is so hard to keep up with the laundry, the bathrooms, the toys, etc. It is really stressful for me when I HAVE to get stuff done, maybe company is coming, and my kids want me to take them to the park or something.

I am open to suggestions on that one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 02:59 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,340,215 times
Reputation: 32238
Hint #1: Never stand when you can sit and never sit when you can lie down. I have this walking stick that unfolds into a sort of one-legged chair I can balance my bum on. (British) My theory is if your feet don't hurt you can handle a lot of the other things life hands you.

And laugh a lot. Marx Brothers movies have been saving me for 40 years.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 05:29 PM
 
1,933 posts, read 3,137,021 times
Reputation: 1941
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Stress has been a constant struggle for me through my parenting years.

Parenting is the most stressful thing I've done in my life.

To make it worse, being parents doesn't afford much time for ourselves and we tend to put others first.

Do you make time for yourself? Or do you always put everyone elses needs first (like I do)?

How do you, as a parent, manage and reduce stress? How do you fit it into your daily busy life as a parent?

I'd love to hear parents thoughts on this!
I try to reduce stress by playing music and going wild in the living room with toddler X, doggy X and kitty x. I do this most after I got off the phone with the following A) Insurance company B) Mr. X who is mostly whinging about how HARD he has it at work C) my mother. Even if its for just a few minutes of music it immediately makes me unwind and laugh.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 05:35 PM
 
12,915 posts, read 19,798,895 times
Reputation: 33944
I have always been very good about taking care of myself. Now, I love my afternoon walks with my dogs and whoever in the neighborhood is available. We walk a couple of miles, which clears my head, and makes my dogs very happy.

We do regular ladies nights in my neighborhood. Frozen pizza for anybody at home, and they cope just fine.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 05:54 PM
 
Location: Back at home in western Washington!
1,500 posts, read 3,753,719 times
Reputation: 3217
I hear you Hopes.

I stayed home for 12 years and thought my life was super stressful. Now, we're living 800 miles away from all our families so I get no emotional support, I'm working 12 hours a day on the graveyard shift, I've got a husband who still has the mentality that his wife is still a SAHM and should do everything that needs doing, seems that we struggle financially as bad as we were when the kids were younger and we were living on one income, and I am just DONE.

I would move back home in an instant if it wouldn't earn me the hatred of my 14 year old.

Sigh... sorry to rant. I know you were looking for creative ideas to reduce stress and I just puke up my issues on you .
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 06:17 PM
 
3,749 posts, read 7,237,838 times
Reputation: 3684
I reduce stress by:

Dont sweat the small stuff;
Hire someone to do all the things you cannot or don't like to do;
Refuse to carry someone's else's expectation or guilt for it;
Put it all in perspective - how important is it really?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
5,944 posts, read 6,382,457 times
Reputation: 3018
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Stress has been a constant struggle for me through my parenting years.

Parenting is the most stressful thing I've done in my life.

To make it worse, being parents doesn't afford much time for ourselves and we tend to put others first.

Do you make time for yourself? Or do you always put everyone elses needs first (like I do)?

How do you, as a parent, manage and reduce stress? How do you fit it into your daily busy life as a parent?

I'd love to hear parents thoughts on this!
Quitting soda sure doesn't help.
I had a Pepsi today and none today and think I will go crazy.

I try to listen to music and just "space" and not thing about how stressed I am.
I know I am not a parent but during the little downtime I do have I just listen to music and try to escape and not like be around people.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-06-2011, 07:11 PM
 
27,993 posts, read 19,657,034 times
Reputation: 16471
One thing that helps me right now is that my kids are older. One is in elementary school and the other is in half day preschool a few days per week. Those hours that I have alone are *so* important.

I agree with the music suggestion by TheOriginalMrs.X as well as a ladies night that Mattie suggested.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top