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Old 01-11-2011, 03:50 PM
 
9,459 posts, read 15,030,133 times
Reputation: 15439

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I haven't read through this entire thread, so I can't comment on all the posts here.

I've had a lot of trouble with my ds13---almost 14. Sexual activity is probably just around the corner. you can't put a chasity belt on them!

But in my heart, doubt he would ever take an unplanned pregnancy lightly. he's horrified at the idea of abortion, we discussed it when he still thought I had something worthwhile to say. The idea of abandonding a baby wouldn't set with him, either, because he was adopted from an abandonment, he knows first hand the pain that creates.

he also knows how tough it is to raise a child,at least, via example from neighbors, etc.

But do you really think a kd who's hormones are raging thinks all of the above in the "heat of the moment"?

That's whyI keep a strict eye on where my kids are during their 'free' time. After all, they are somewhere, better under my supervision that out of it. Oh, the flack I've received for actually being involved in my kids lives! Well, too bad, where they go, I know! No wonder other kids parents are "cool" they aren't around half the time, the other half have no idea WTH is going on in their own homes. Like my dd and her friends were making suggestive videos plastererd all over UTube, I just happened to find, done while at a friends' house, while the parents were home! BTW, he was a police detective, some detective, doesn't have a clue and doesn't give a $hit what goes on under his own roof, but I was "interferring" too much by knocking on his door, wanting to know what was going on. Who's the 'bad' parent?

All you can do is keep track of your kids on a daily basis, and take it one day at a time, hope they make the right decisions when you're not around.
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:52 PM
 
9,459 posts, read 15,030,133 times
Reputation: 15439
Quote:
Originally Posted by bustaduke View Post
You can also scare the crap out of him.

Find some poison ivy and rub it in his underwear. After a day or so he will get a nice rash.

Tell him that he caught an STD and that he needs to see a doctor. Take him and tell the doctor what you did and what's going on with him.

Have the doctor play it up telling your son that he will most likely lose his thing.

Poison ivy can be cured with a simple shot but ask the doctor to divide it into 16 smaller shots. 8 in each cheek so that your son can't sit down for a week.

Take him back to the doctor after it clears up and have the doctor tell your son that he may have to deal with this for a long time.

That he may have to deal with a lot of itching from time to time. Go to a gag shop and get some itching powder and dust his shorts every month.

I guarantee that if you do this he will never touch that girl again. Of course you know I'm joking about the poison ivy but the itching powder will work wonders.

busta
Are you serious?

No doctor will ever go along with that ruse. First of all, they say the kid is the patient, not the parent. Oftentimes they don't even talk to me, ask me to leave. While I respect my children's privacy, I do need to know what's going on, so I can at least monitor the situation.

If you did what the above poster suggested, you'd be reported to CPS pronto!
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:53 PM
 
Location: Destrehan, Louisiana
2,192 posts, read 6,038,367 times
Reputation: 3600
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Don't do it. That would be assault.

It's a stupid idea. I was terrified someone would take it seriously.

You're not his mother. It's not your place to make decisions about when he can be near girls.

OK EVERYONE I WAS JOKING NO POISON IVY AND NO ITCHING POWDER

Don't want to give Hopes a heart attack but feel free to use the door trick it will work every time.

busta
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:55 PM
 
Location: Destrehan, Louisiana
2,192 posts, read 6,038,367 times
Reputation: 3600
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
Are you serious?

No doctor will ever go along with that ruse. First of all, they say the kid is the patient, not the parent. Oftentimes they don't even talk to me, ask me to leave. While I respect my children's privacy, I do need to know what's going on, so I can at least monitor the situation.

If you did what the above poster suggested, you'd be reported to CPS pronto!
Are you that gullible, didn't you see the smiley faces and where I said I was joking?

busta
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Old 01-11-2011, 03:57 PM
 
10,139 posts, read 22,424,007 times
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There was an interview on our local TV with a 16 year old mom and the reporter asked her why she had her baby and she said: "before I had my baby I was nobody. Now I have my own "worker" and I get my own money." Obviously referring to the social worker assigned to her case and her payment from TANF, SSI or similar.

I was, frankly, shocked. How low can we go as a society?
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:05 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 89,018,139 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bustaduke View Post
don't want to give hopes a heart attack but feel free to use the door trick it will work every time.:d
LMAO!
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:14 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,374,720 times
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I don't think there is any point in trying to convince them not to have sex . . . I mean you can state your preference but it is probably not going to have a lot of impact. I think the most important thing to do is for you and the other mom to work together to make sure birth control is in place. If she can assure you her daughter has had the shot, that would be good, but you would have to know the date to make sure to work with the mom to get it again so there is no lapse.

Otherwise, I would buy a huge case of condoms. Aside from that there is not much else you can do other than try to supervise them, but obviously that is not going to be super effective at this point.

Good luck!
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:16 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 15,498,043 times
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Default Borrow a toddler

Do you know someone with a toddler? It was an eye opening experience for my son. I have a 14 yr old myself. He is not at that stage yet for sex (thank god) but I have told him a million times to take his schooling seriously. I tried explaining to him that going back to college after being married with children is difficult. I would watch his eyes glaze over.

Anyway, I watched my niece's 2 yr old for a week as a family emergency. This child was a handful and wore all of us out. While my son was doing his homework at the kitchen table, the little girl would not leave my son alone. He was getting really frustrated. Finally he looked at me and said, "I get it now." I asked him what he was talking about. He said, "what you told me about trying to do school work while raising a family!" Maybe if you had the opportunity to babysit a small child in your home to give your son a real life experience. I know there are dolls and so forth but nothing is the same as the real deal. My son's reaction was a surprise to me. I wish I would have watched the child sooner.

My first thought was banning the girl but then sometimes that backfires as then it will be a thrill to sneak around and if this girl is willing to walk that distance to see your son, she will continue to do so.
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:17 PM
 
11,614 posts, read 19,724,832 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
Aside from that there is not much else you can do other than try to supervise them, but obviously that is not going to be super effective at this point.

Good luck!
Why not? The kid is 14. He can't drive. If he's supervised all the time what could happen?
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Old 01-11-2011, 04:41 PM
 
10,139 posts, read 22,424,007 times
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No one is going to discourage two willing and enthusiastic 14 year olds from sex unless they are never within the same city. Especially when the girl's parents don't object. Forget it. Game over.
Hormones 1
Social Norms 0
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