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Old 01-12-2011, 11:09 AM
 
852 posts, read 1,135,419 times
Reputation: 1042

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
It is super sad. It seems there is always a young girl in every class who wants to get pregnant. There was one in my grade. There was one in my son's grade. And they both accomplished their goals. I've known of others too. Young girls who want babies usually end up having babies.

My point is that any parent of a minor who is accused of getting this girl pregnant should insist on a DNA test. If the girl is hell bent on having a baby, she'll have a baby by anyone she can. Given her mindset, no paternal grandparent should pay child support unless it is proven to be truly genetically related via DNA testing.

It's a shame that this is the result of poor parenting due to low-life mentality. A bigger shame is that she's likely to pass this same mentality down through the generations. This is a sad testament of a segment of society. This is one of those areas where schools should get involved by identifying children at risk of repeating the mindset ingrained in generations of their families. Yet in many areas of the country people don't want the schools involved in sex ed.
I am also 100% in favor of DNA testing. It's just impossible to know whether or not this girl is telling the truth. I don't mean to cast aspersions on her, but considering her upbringing...

These girls are in all walks of life. I just extracted my 11 y.o. daughter from a friendship with a girl who we suspected had stolen a doll from my daughter (one of those Monster High dolls) and who we know was lying to her mother about all kinds of things. She's falsely accused other girls at school and even a mentally disabled boy of bullying her just to get attention. Her parents are pretty wealthy, big home in an historic neighborhood, designer clothes, golf/tennis/skating/ballet lessons all of that. I was allowing the friendship because I felt this girl needed guidance. However, the last straw for me was when I witnessed her (she's also 11) stroking the back of a 12 y.o. boy in a very sexual way. I talked to my daughter about it, and it turned out that she'd been noticing the overly sexual behavior too and had already started distancing herself from the girl. So sad.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:51 AM
 
Location: Vancouver, BC
547 posts, read 1,367,006 times
Reputation: 508
It's not that big of a deal. My biggest regret (I'm 20 now) was not having sex in HS. You should be proud of your son, especially if the girl is hot.
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:05 PM
 
1,425 posts, read 3,520,891 times
Reputation: 2024
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
It's not that big of a deal. My biggest regret (I'm 20 now) was not having sex in HS. You should be proud of your son, especially if the girl is hot.

This is a prime example that just because you are legally an adult, it doesn't guarantee maturity.
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:14 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
6,957 posts, read 12,372,463 times
Reputation: 29133
I kinda skipped through most of the posts, but I know from experience what your son was thinking or wasn't thinking on his first time. My girlfriend at the time put my hand in her bra. Not only was I not thinking about protection, I don't think I could have even told you what my name was! As Robin Williams said, God gave man 2 heads and not enough oxygen to run both at the same time. But the first time is over. Now maybe with all the talks you've been giving him he'll get that thing covered the next time they are together.
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:22 PM
 
13,496 posts, read 13,968,489 times
Reputation: 11119
do not bad mouth the girl or tell him to give her up. tell him you understand he is in love (even if you don't approve) be outwardly supportive of the relationship. hopefully it will run its course and they will not be together too much longer as most early teen relationships.

stressing the importance of protection or sex without "going all the way" is very important, the cat is out of the bag and where there is a will there is a way. they will not stop, trying to adjust the behavior might be the best thing. or making it more difficult for them to get together without them knowing you have a hand in it.

good luck to you
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:32 PM
 
10,139 posts, read 22,404,584 times
Reputation: 8239
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
It's not that big of a deal. My biggest regret (I'm 20 now) was not having sex in HS. You should be proud of your son, especially if the girl is hot.
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Northern NH
4,551 posts, read 9,859,296 times
Reputation: 3782
The girl probably wants to get on MTV's "Teen Mom"
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Old 01-12-2011, 06:56 PM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,021,765 times
Reputation: 3983
Holy crap...I'm never having kids. EVER! My solution would be to lock him in the basement and throw away the key!...
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Old 01-13-2011, 02:35 AM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,400 posts, read 2,000,182 times
Reputation: 3231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malkiel View Post
It's not that big of a deal. My biggest regret (I'm 20 now) was not having sex in HS. You should be proud of your son, especially if the girl is hot.
Speaking as someone whose high school was as boring as yours...and 21.

I would have loved to explore my urges a bit earlier with an attractive, smart young woman who could be responsible.

If my only option were a girl hell bent on pregnancy, I'd turn it down. We always have a choice.
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Old 01-13-2011, 07:23 AM
 
14,777 posts, read 34,490,118 times
Reputation: 14278
Considering the OP was made on the 10th and inferred that they had "recently" had sex, I find it hard to believe that she could have any actual pregnancy signs at this point. The whole thing sounds like an attention plea predicated on the fact that she sees you moving in to limit contact and set some rules. If I recall correctly, you did sort of ban her from your house when no one is home just before this latest revelation.

While I seriously doubt she is pregnant, if she is, make sure you get every test known to man to prove paternity and make sure that they are presented with ALL the options available to them. At the very least your son seems to have gotten that dose of reality that he needed.
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