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Old 01-12-2011, 11:32 AM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,732,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beans&Cornbread View Post
Finster! Y'all cut some platinum and all your momma got was a couple puddlejumps and some wall decor? For shame!
No, that's not all. If there was an award for Proudest Mother Who Namedrops like a Mofo then she would've won it.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
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It is possible to parent somewhere in between rigid military style, and no rules laissez-faire, in fact I would imagine 99.99% of parents do.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:58 AM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,732,898 times
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Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
It is possible to parent somewhere in between rigid military style, and no rules laissez-faire, in fact I would imagine 99.99% of parents do.
Well some of our parents must have, or none of us would know what laissez-faire means.
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,803,744 times
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Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Well some of our parents must have, or none of us would know what laissez-faire means.


That's an amusement park for lesbians, right?
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
Well, that's a whole other kettle of fish. In our particular cases that is true but there are a 1,000 other reasons as well. When I was 17 I had a boyfriend took LSD, drank Drano while he was tripping, and lost his voicebox. That kind of turned me off. His parents were fairly strict BTW.

I've known many people who had parents who were strict and who disciplined them but who still did drugs and became addicted. I'm convinced that sobriety is often a simple gift from God because "there but for the grace of God go I."
Yep. My parents were ridiculously strict, and I spent most of my senior year high, and I was still on the National Honor Society. It's not about abusing or berating our children into submission. That doesn't always work. I turned out fine, but I'm lucky that I wasn't one of those kids who dies in a car wreck with five other teenagers who were all high and drunk. I'm ashamed of it, but that's who I was back then.

I don't know who made the comment about mothers expecting children to be placated in school, but that is absolutely untrue. We raise our children to respect the teacher and the classroom, period. Having an open communicative relationship with our children does not mean that we're all a bunch of pushover who forgo discipline in favor of being the cool parent. My girls and I have a great time together, and we talk about everything, but there is a tone of voice that I have that will make them run. They know full well who the parent in the house is.
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:29 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,732,898 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post


That's an amusement park for lesbians, right?
Ha! Made my day!
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:46 PM
 
7,508 posts, read 3,598,636 times
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Originally Posted by miyu View Post
Final word - I don't really like Amy Chua nor do I agree fully with her patting herself on the back hypocrisy parenting styles... frankly, she annoys me like many assertive perfectionist Asian women do.

But I think the best way is obviously to take the best of western and eastern parenting skills. I don't agree with the idea of letting your child have unstructured fun. I think work and talent development can actually be fun while being serious. I would totally let my kids do acting, play in rock band, write music, do art, travel, learn many languages, write. As long as they make the pre-requisite of learning their math and science. For sure then they won't be just another starving "actor/artist/musician" when their dreams don't pan out, LOL!
I never heard of this Amy Chua but I don't agree with her parenting style either. I definitely agree with you on the western and eastern parenting skills. There are pros and cons to each parenting style and we should really take the best from both. Too bad a lot of Asian parents don't really see this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Many artists love living their dreams. They aren't rich, but they aren't starving. It's sad you measure success only in terms of wealth.

It's such a shame that the focus is mostly on math and science and art and writing is considered a mere dream to you when China has a rich history in the arts.
I agree that China has a really rich history on arts, but even though I'm not Chinese, family oriented is really on our shoulders. It's not true for most Asian kids today because they're living in the dream of being independent (which reminds me of a thread posted by this Asian feminist lady). Sometimes family oriented mindset can be such a heavy burden but it also can be overlooked as well. It's probably 3/4 on their plates when it comes to pursing careers. Most parents would expect their child to make money so that they can take care of their parents. We do not believe in Nursing homes because it is insulting thing to do to your parents.
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Old 01-12-2011, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, BC
547 posts, read 1,368,583 times
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Parenting is overrated. The Chinese kid might get into Harvard, and maybe another kid will get into Michigan State. But that doesn't determine your entire life.
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Old 01-12-2011, 01:40 PM
 
2,726 posts, read 4,369,225 times
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I listened to this author on NPR and one thing she mentioned was the context in which the word "garbage" was used, in her case, when she showed extreme disrespect to her father. But overall, he held her in high esteem and she knew it.

I think this is a very important thing to consider, that she knew her father loved her. How she knew this is just as important as how Chinese mothers and Western mothers are different.
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:15 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,368,217 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by crisan View Post
I listened to this author on NPR and one thing she mentioned was the context in which the word "garbage" was used, in her case, when she showed extreme disrespect to her father. But overall, he held her in high esteem and she knew it.
Did she say what it was that she did that showed extreme disrepect to her father?
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