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Old 01-15-2011, 04:17 PM
 
9,939 posts, read 7,232,247 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennibc View Post
You see, I REFUSE to read the book because her publisher culled the most controversial parts of the book strung it together and submitted to the WSJ primarily so there would be this kind of buzz. What that article did was feed into horrible stereotypes about both Chinese kids and "western" kids. I refuse to reward their marketing ploy.
You will be able to get it at the library eventually, then you would not be contributing to the profit the book makes.
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Old 01-15-2011, 04:20 PM
 
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Based on formercalifornian's posts, I think you should read the book, jgamibi, because it's clear from your posts that you haven't read it.
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Old 01-15-2011, 07:12 PM
 
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The best jobs for the future will require creativity, teamwork and innovative thinking. You can't beat that into a kid.
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Old 01-15-2011, 07:50 PM
 
Location: THE USA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beans&Cornbread View Post
Wow - this thread has generated quite the stir and response!

I know this is a thread about Chinese Mothers - but what I'd like to know is how the Chinese Fathers feel about Ms. Chua's views/book?

Most Chinese fathers that I know were totally uninvolved in the stuff like homework. Tradition is that the mother takes care of the household AND the children. Seriously, they really don't lift a finger if you are talking old school Chinese fathers. The poor mothers are worked til they are exhausted. Fathers sign the kids up for crazy classes like Speedy Math for 4 yr old's and then the mothers have to take the kids and do the daily homework.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:55 AM
 
Location: state of procrastination
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I don't know much about Chinese fathers but my dad almost never said anything about school or music. He was busy in a different city earning money so essentially I had a single parent upbringing.

I have not read the book but in general I think that the worst part of Asian parenting is the lack of emotional counseling / availability of the parents. I think this is completely separate from the academic aspect of it, as it is most likely cultural. My parents never got emotional feedback from their parents, so it is natural never to give emotional feedback to us. Love is expressed in terms of time and effort spent on improving the kid's life and future. This is something that Western style of parenting excels at.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jgamibi View Post
It is stupid because of the top, Chinese mothers are not superior than any other type of mothers out there and believe me, if you think Chinese parents are strict you have not met Indian parents.

All of you kissing up to Asians and about how successful they are, lol, HELLO, ever heard of being privileged?!

Asians rarely have to suffer the poverty in higher numbers that a high number of Blacks and Hispanics do (In this case by Asian we mean East Asians, Cambodians and other Asians like that are not really brought into the conversation as much as Koreans, Chinese, and Japanese are).

Then again the Cambodians don't have those strict parents.

Point is, a lot of Asians are privileged (even more so than Whites) here in the US so they can afford to send their kids to the best schools (high school and junior highs) where their kids are basically in a bubble and they can afford to get their kids into other programs. A lot of Blacks and Hispanics do not get those opportunities that Asians kid.

Indian parents > Chinese parents when it comes to being strict.
It's not a competition between who is more strict but from personal exp I would fear a Chinese more than an Indian parent for reasons of corporal punishment and forced participation in music (I didn't see many Indians in my music competitions). This may be a fluke but I have noticed that a few Indian grad students act very entitled because all their life they were told by parents that they were special, "the best", when in reality they may actually be above average. It was only after failing in some aspect of their graduate school relationships that they realized they should be more modest, so that their coworkers would finally decide to help them. I was told that Indian parents tend to build up confidence whereas Chinese parents kind of do a mixture of shame/expectation/necessity - how true that is, I don't know.

Indian people who immigrate to the USA are sometimes from highly academic families (at least one parent is a professor or MD) and/or from the highest caste so in a sense they are similar to the privileged Chinese immigrants (who tend to have money from recent booms). There are many poor Chinese too, including PhD and postdoctoral candidates who are "chosen" to come study here but who have not had any financial advantages. They still scrape up the money to send their kids to good schools - they are also willing to suffer separation of mom and dad to live in a good school district. In actuality the rich Chinese parents who send their kids to America to study are often bad parents because they just throw money/cars/house at the kid but they are living in a different country so there is no supervision.

If you are trying to make the argument that Indian people are less privileged than Chinese, and are more strict, I don't think there is a way to directly compare. All I know is that my Indian friends seem much more self-confident and less hard on themselves. But many Indian children are very successful so there is no doubt that their parents knew what they are doing. I've never really heard my Indian friends complain about the strictness of their parents, so somebody should write a book about it.

Last edited by miyu; 01-16-2011 at 04:21 AM..
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Old 01-16-2011, 08:03 AM
 
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It's important to consider the reason Chinese parents invest so much energy into their children's futures.

Until fairly recently, most parents in China depended on their children to take care of them in old age. It's the way the society was structured.

There was a lot riding on the success of a child. The parents' very future was at stake.

This will and does change through generations of Chinese Americans.

And it's changing in urban China too because parents are earning more money and don't need their children to be their retirement plans.
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Old 01-16-2011, 09:33 AM
 
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I just re-read the entire thread, and one thing I'd like to clarify is a misconception about the "garbage" incident. Chua did not call Sophia garbage because she failed to get an "A+" or play a piano piece perfectly. The garbage comment was made during a heated exchange in which Sophia was extremely disrespectful toward her mother. While I shudder at the word garbage (I am, after all, not a "Chinese" mother), as a parent of a pre-adolescent I can certainly understand the anger.

I vividly remember a Bill Cosby bit in which he recalls telling his son, Ennis, "Your mother and I brought you into this world, and we can take you out and make another one just like you!" Dealing with our children's insolence is a parental right of passage.
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Old 01-16-2011, 12:27 PM
 
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And what I find, that is so tragic, is that after all this work bringing up little automated Einstein's, is that when they complete their rigid and restrictive education - there are no jobs for them. Either in China or here in the states.

Dianne Sawyer has been doing some really great stories on China. They really open your eyes.
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Old 01-16-2011, 01:56 PM
 
42,400 posts, read 47,526,931 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf View Post
And what I find, that is so tragic, is that after all this work bringing up little automated Einstein's, is that when they complete their rigid and restrictive education - there are no jobs for them. Either in China or here in the states.

Dianne Sawyer has been doing some really great stories on China. They really open your eyes.
How is that possible? China's unemployment rate is only 4.1%.
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Old 01-16-2011, 02:43 PM
 
Location: state of procrastination
3,458 posts, read 3,546,802 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
I just re-read the entire thread, and one thing I'd like to clarify is a misconception about the "garbage" incident. Chua did not call Sophia garbage because she failed to get an "A+" or play a piano piece perfectly. The garbage comment was made during a heated exchange in which Sophia was extremely disrespectful toward her mother. While I shudder at the word garbage (I am, after all, not a "Chinese" mother), as a parent of a pre-adolescent I can certainly understand the anger.
I got called garbage all the time in heated fights, followed immediately with slap across the face. In public. Of course I deserved it because I was calling my mom nasty names so I have nothing to say for myself. I would think Mrs. Chua forgot to slap her daughter, hah. It's good that her punishment methods are controlled.
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