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Old 01-11-2011, 11:43 PM
 
Location: California
29,613 posts, read 31,923,958 times
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It's probably just the "type" of person your daughter is socially attracted to and feels comfortable around. She may outgrow it. My kids were exactly this type but as they grew up both found other things to be interested in.
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Old 01-12-2011, 02:27 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
It's probably just the "type" of person your daughter is socially attracted to and feels comfortable around. She may outgrow it. My kids were exactly this type but as they grew up both found other things to be interested in.
I hope you are right about this. I find it disturbing and such a waste of the short time they have to be young.
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Old 01-12-2011, 10:38 AM
 
Location: Land of Thought and Flow
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I don't particularly see why video games get labeled "wastes of time". Some prefer to shop. Some prefer to sew. Some prefer to fish. Some prefer to post on forums. Some prefer to travel. Some prefer to game. Some people have multiple hobbies. Some people have few. I'm sure everyone here has a hobby that somebody else would find to be a "waste of time".

Silly though, that he gave up exploration time in a different country for a game (most likely WoW)... but some people are just more into their hobbies, I guess. *shrug* Perhaps he only went to Switzerland to be with your daughter and had no actual interest in where he was.

Though, I'm biased because I game heavily (and socially) for hours upon hours. But when I'm on vacation, it's a different story. I explore and have fun during the day and night... only using a portable system to help me fall asleep - much like some people read a book to fall asleep.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:10 PM
 
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The OP's situation with those two kids sounds extreme to me. It sounds as if these kids have had this problem for quite awhile but the parents never noticed or if they did, they never intervened. A lot of parents don't understand the importance of setting limits when they see (or if they notice) that their kids are not mature enough to set the limits for themselves. Some kids can handle these kinds of things and for other kids it takes a parent stepping in to help them learn to create balance in their lives. It's going to be a hard behavior to break now that it's so ingrained and because they are in a way too old for a parent to begin trying to teach them these kinds of life lessons now. That window is pretty much closed by this point, unless you're lucky.

There's nothing wrong with video games or social networking and all this stuff, they can actually be beneficial if they are used wisely, but there needs to be a well-balanced life there somewhere. Too much of anything isn't good for us. Sadly, even the stuff we really like. I love chocolate and tea, but too much is bad for me. Even drinking too much water can kill a person, and water is good for you.

My son learned recently who his true friends were when we refused to pay for an online XBOX monthly membership for him. He was pretty much snubbed by three other boys who he thought were his friends, simply because they have the memberships and he and several of his other friends don't. I lost a friend once, too, because I didn't want to get on Myspace. She basically told me that if I didn't get on Myspace then we couldn't "talk" because that was the only thing she used to "talk" with friends. (This was before Facebook came along.) I was like - do you even have a phone? Email? Sheesh. We were "real life" friends to begin with, but she moved a few states away. I literally haven't heard from her since.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:44 PM
 
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I don't know if it's generational except that our grandparents didn't have these games to become addicted to them.

Some kids are more likely to become addicted or obsessed with these games, even in the same family, one child might not care too much for video games while another wants nothing else.
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Old 01-12-2011, 11:53 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,722,338 times
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Originally Posted by Ceece View Post
It's probably just the "type" of person your daughter is socially attracted to and feels comfortable around. She may outgrow it. My kids were exactly this type but as they grew up both found other things to be interested in.
Yes - I think every generation has to accept differences in others. Back in the 60s, kids were obsessed with certain music, hairstyles, clothing styles and older people thought the world was going to hell in a handbasket. And now that generation thinks the generation today is doing that. My grandfather grew up way back when and he told me that in his day older people thought they were a lost generation - the roaring 20s.

Eventually jobs, bills, kids of our own, get the best of almost all of us and we have to grow up - but then some people never quite adjust. It's very likely the same thing today with teens and college students. They'll get theirs just like those before them and be forced to grow up and then they'll be looking at kids being born right now and wonder what is going on with this new generation.
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Old 01-13-2011, 09:39 AM
 
15,871 posts, read 13,439,261 times
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Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf View Post
The OP's situation with those two kids sounds extreme to me. It sounds as if these kids have had this problem for quite awhile but the parents never noticed or if they did, they never intervened. A lot of parents don't understand the importance of setting limits when they see (or if they notice) that their kids are not mature enough to set the limits for themselves. Some kids can handle these kinds of things and for other kids it takes a parent stepping in to help them learn to create balance in their lives. It's going to be a hard behavior to break now that it's so ingrained and because they are in a way too old for a parent to begin trying to teach them these kinds of life lessons now. That window is pretty much closed by this point, unless you're lucky.

There's nothing wrong with video games or social networking and all this stuff, they can actually be beneficial if they are used wisely, but there needs to be a well-balanced life there somewhere. Too much of anything isn't good for us. Sadly, even the stuff we really like. I love chocolate and tea, but too much is bad for me. Even drinking too much water can kill a person, and water is good for you.
Yeah, setting limits on screen time worked in high school, but college is a whole different thing. They have much more free time and access to each others' rooms and gaming systems 24/7.

It is hard to freak out too much since both my daughter and her friend made straight As their first semester. God knows how.
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Old 01-13-2011, 09:50 AM
Status: "Even better than okay" (set 10 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
51,274 posts, read 50,539,435 times
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Originally Posted by zentropa View Post
I have a 19 year old daughter who is a freshman at a private liberal arts college in PA. The college is a good one, with an acceptance rate of less than 50%, so i was hoping she would meet some smart, interesting kids there.

But so far, all I have seen are unmotivated, incurious, slovenly teens who, outside of class, do little but play video games. It was the same with her peers in high school, but I expected them to grow out of it I guess.

I am working in Switzerland at this time, so when she came overseas to visit after Christmas, she brought a guy friend who had never been to Europe with her to do some traveling. Well, the first 2 days all this kid did was sit at his laptop and play one game, for hours and hours and hours. I could not really interest him in going anywhere or seeing anything. He didn't even shower. Apparently this is typical of their circle.

I was able to pry them out of the house and put them on a train to Zurich yesterday, but I guarantee they (at least he) are spending hours at the youth hostel sitting in front of a glowing screen.

My daughter plays a lot of video games too, but at least she has other interests and I can get her to go outside into the daylight.

I guess I just don't get it. Is this a generational thing?
It's your kid's friend. I can only think of one of my daughter's friends who sits and plays video games all of the time, and she dropped out of high school.
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Old 01-13-2011, 09:59 AM
 
Location: NW. MO.
1,817 posts, read 5,769,157 times
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My kids 18 and 21 are on the games, computers or phones most of the day. My hubby is one who will sit on the computer and play games for lengthy periods of time also. I get so bored sitting in one spot and am more of a person who would be outside every day if I could.
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Old 01-14-2011, 09:15 PM
 
10,452 posts, read 10,231,190 times
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I'd say yes and no. I see it a lot too, but I see it in my wife's parents too with video games, who are a whole generation older than us. I admit I do spend a lot of time on the computer, but my computer also serves to mitigate my disability, and I do other things as well--including showering daily. There is variation among any generation of people and I wouldn't be surprised if the rate of computer addicts in the generation you speak of is higher than before, but I'd also say the addiction to computers is higher in general because they've just become so convenient. To add to that, being skilled with computers is starting to become more and more of an expectation or a given and less of something "impressive" or "noteworthy." For example I have friends in their 50's and 60's who still brag about their typing speed but everyone I know of my generation types fast so it's not even worth mentioning. Computers have come closer to the center of our reality so it follows that more people have become addicted.
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