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Old 01-16-2011, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,713,317 times
Reputation: 14499

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Quote:
Originally Posted by NEOhioBound View Post
I agree 100%.

IMHO, all these girls getting pregnant while in school, nation wide, not just at this school, has a lot to do with lack of parenting, lack of self-esteem and lack of common sense.
Media impact has a lot to do with demographics. Messages sent via the media will be heard differently by girls who have mother's who are doctors and lawyers than girls whose mothers were uneducated teen moms. So, yes the media is to blame. Maternal education matters and so does paternal involvement here but those things are determined by the time these girls were born. After that, it's up to society at large to try and catch kids born at a disadvantage and you start by not bombarding them with sexual messages. Good parents will censor TV. Bad parents won't. Perhaps the media needs to censor itself for their sake.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,713,317 times
Reputation: 14499
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Yes, let's do that. Let's institutionalize the girls, and let the boys who are one half of this equation off scott free and with no consequences, as usual.

Let's shame the girls after the fact instead of getting to the root of the problem and trying to fix it from there, before it happens.

Oh, WTF, let's just blame the friggin' media.
It's worth a shot. Lord knows that throwing them baby showers and having them show off their new bundles at school hasn't worked.

Like it or not, it is girls who get pregnant. It is girls who have to deal with the pregnancy and, most likely it will be the girl raising the baby. So the girl needs to just say no. And yes, it should be a shame to get pregnant as a teen. If you know who the father is, then send him the bill for the unwed mother home she's sent to.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,713,317 times
Reputation: 14499
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
There has to be a happy medium in here someplace. I was a teenager in the 60's. Teen pregnancy was very much a time full of shame and ruin for the whole family. Siblings were just as tainted as the girl herself . Of course the boy and his family had nothing to deal with. Boys will be boys you know.

Girls sent away were done so in secret with lots of whispering and speculation.
Today it is nothing at all to see teen pregnancy almost glorified in some communities and cultures. It's kind of like "Oh well."

I think open adoption has done a great deal of good for these girls and their children but personally I think the emphasis should be on Prevention at a very early age. Parents who resist sex education are only fooling themselves. Sex drive is so strong for teenagers and instead of trying to convince kids they should not be doing "it", we as a society should concentrate of birth control issues and make sure safe legal abortions are available for those who chose it.

I would speculate most teen pregnancies occur not because girls think they want babies but because they are ignorant about birth control. They get caught up in rage of hormones and don't think of the consequences.
Maybe we should send every 12 year old in for temporary sterilization. They can petition to have it reversed when they're of age if they can pass a parenting test.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:16 PM
 
9,056 posts, read 6,726,826 times
Reputation: 11008
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
There has to be a happy medium in here someplace. I was a teenager in the 60's. Teen pregnancy was very much a time full of shame and ruin for the whole family. Siblings were just as tainted as the girl herself . Of course the boy and his family had nothing to deal with. Boys will be boys you know.

Girls sent away were done so in secret with lots of whispering and speculation.
Today it is nothing at all to see teen pregnancy almost glorified in some communities and cultures. It's kind of like "Oh well."

I think open adoption has done a great deal of good for these girls and their children but personally I think the emphasis should be on Prevention at a very early age. Parents who resist sex education are only fooling themselves. Sex drive is so strong for teenagers and instead of trying to convince kids they should not be doing "it", we as a society should concentrate of birth control issues and make sure safe legal abortions are available for those who chose it.

I would speculate most teen pregnancies occur not because girls think they want babies but because they are ignorant about birth control. They get caught up in rage of hormones and don't think of the consequences.
I think that's true of some teenage pregnancies, but not all. Of course they should be thoroughly educated about BC. They should be on it, IMO, but I know not everybody agrees with that stance.

My thoughts are, that it goes deeper than that. For some reason, girls are not only thinking of the consequences, they actually think it's a good idea to have a baby. This mindset concerns me more than the accidental pregnancies, which will always happen, to any agegroup. These girls WANT to get pregnant. What are we doing (or not doing) as a community of parents to let this happen?

When I was growing up it was understood that having a baby that young would completely ruin your life. Teens of both sexes were scared to death of it. It meant you suddenly had no future and that all of your opportunities would vanish. For some reason, there are kids who don't care enough about that, or even think having a child is a better option than setting themselves up as a successful adult.

These notions don't come out of thin air. These kids are getting this idea from somewhere. And the media isn't it. Having sex, which you can argue is being pushed by the media, and having babies on purpose because you want to, are two totally different things.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,985,946 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Yes, let's do that. Let's institutionalize the girls, and let the boys who are one half of this equation off scott free and with no consequences, as usual.

Let's shame the girls after the fact instead of getting to the root of the problem and trying to fix it from there, before it happens.

Oh, WTF, let's just blame the friggin' media.
I don't agree with the homes they shipped them off to in the past. The ones that are around that I know of now for mom's who want to not have abortions but need help are very different than those of the past. They educate the mom's on how to properly raise babies, they help them to finish their educations, they help them get training needed for decent jobs, they help them find jobs, etc. Most of these homes are in large cities, and the girls are not shamed. If these places are run by non-Catholics, the girls will be given information on birth control in case they do keep having pre-marital sex.
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Old 01-16-2011, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Liberal Coast
4,271 posts, read 4,985,946 times
Reputation: 3861
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
There has to be a happy medium in here someplace. I was a teenager in the 60's. Teen pregnancy was very much a time full of shame and ruin for the whole family. Siblings were just as tainted as the girl herself . Of course the boy and his family had nothing to deal with. Boys will be boys you know.

Girls sent away were done so in secret with lots of whispering and speculation.
Today it is nothing at all to see teen pregnancy almost glorified in some communities and cultures. It's kind of like "Oh well."

I think open adoption has done a great deal of good for these girls and their children but personally I think the emphasis should be on Prevention at a very early age. Parents who resist sex education are only fooling themselves. Sex drive is so strong for teenagers and instead of trying to convince kids they should not be doing "it", we as a society should concentrate of birth control issues and make sure safe legal abortions are available for those who chose it.

I would speculate most teen pregnancies occur not because girls think they want babies but because they are ignorant about birth control. They get caught up in rage of hormones and don't think of the consequences.
That has not been true in my experience. Teens know what birth control is, where to get it, and how to use it. Many just simply choose not to.
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Old 01-16-2011, 04:07 PM
 
10,630 posts, read 22,757,144 times
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I know that there are a lot of kids out there today who do lack much information about birth control, but I agree that I don't think that's what's going on here; most pregnant teens know how pregnancies happen, they know how to prevent it, they know where to get it, but for one reason or another they don't use it. I do, however, agree that society should focus on birth control, not just educating about it, but figuring out why some teens are choosing not to use it (and work from there to change it), as well as tackling other big societal issues (opportunities, education, etc.) There are all sorts of statistics out there regarding use of contraceptives by teens of different ages, ethnicities, etc, and obviously all of that also comes into play into how to tackle the problem of teen pregnancy in different communities.
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Old 01-16-2011, 04:31 PM
 
Location: middle of everywhere
1,830 posts, read 3,663,514 times
Reputation: 1821
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus View Post
Yes, it's definitely a combo of all these things. Additionally, where are these girls' ASPIRATIONS? What happens between the early childhood years and the teen years where girls lose their drive to BE somebody?

Where are all the little girls who wanted to be doctors, firefighters, nurses, ballerinas, concert pianists, rock, rap, pop stars? Somewhere along the way they literally lose the will to live. They settle. All the women from our past who fought for equal rights and paved the way for girls to do anything they put their minds too are rolling in their graves right now.

We, as a community, are failing them somehow. And it's not just girls from impoverished neighborhoods that are doing this. All across the nation, girls are just giving up. How do we stop it?
I would guess that most of these young women weren't motivated to have those kinds of dreams. The only doctors they know are the ones they see when they are sick. They only see ballerinas on tv, if at all. They are surrounded by a certain lifestyle, which is all they know. I have heard about teens who dream of getting out and going to college. What happens to them? Their 'family' discourages them and breaks their spirit because they don't want to see someone doing better. A child has to have an iron will to make it out of that situation.

I wonder what the process is to change the statutory law. I hate to know there are grown men having unprotected sex with these young women. These creeps are predators- they know no one gives a damn about these girls and they won't be prosecuted. It literally makes me sick.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:47 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,722,338 times
Reputation: 22159
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
There has to be a happy medium in here someplace. I was a teenager in the 60's. Teen pregnancy was very much a time full of shame and ruin for the whole family. Siblings were just as tainted as the girl herself . Of course the boy and his family had nothing to deal with. Boys will be boys you know.

Girls sent away were done so in secret with lots of whispering and speculation.
Today it is nothing at all to see teen pregnancy almost glorified in some communities and cultures. It's kind of like "Oh well."

I think open adoption has done a great deal of good for these girls and their children but personally I think the emphasis should be on Prevention at a very early age. Parents who resist sex education are only fooling themselves. Sex drive is so strong for teenagers and instead of trying to convince kids they should not be doing "it", we as a society should concentrate of birth control issues and make sure safe legal abortions are available for those who chose it.

I would speculate most teen pregnancies occur not because girls think they want babies but because they are ignorant about birth control. They get caught up in rage of hormones and don't think of the consequences.

I think they do want babies. Babies to girls this age are very adorable and when they see their classmates bring their babies around, some deep inside of them makes them want one all their own. Babies are contagious. The schools encourage the kids to even give baby showers at school for the girls about to deliver.

It's not just an urge to have sex. Sex goes hand-in-hand with a reproductive drive. A girl having sex with a boy thinks he loves her forever, and pictures a family, he as the father of her babies.

Watch a 14-15-16 year old girl with a pet rabbit or cat. She'll carry it around, cuddle with it, coo at it, take pictures of it, draw pictures of it - the mothering instinct is strong. Even with a horse, she'll brush the horse, shampoo the horse, braid the mane and tail. Some girls have an animal substitute for a baby which gets them past the time they too young but susceptible to the mother-urge.

Biology itself is the problem but it's more complicated than a girl simply having an uncontrollable sex drive. In fact the one thing to make the girls around that age take their eyes and minds off the cute boy in the room is to bring a baby into the room.
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Old 01-17-2011, 10:51 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,527 posts, read 29,246,638 times
Reputation: 21264
Quote:
Originally Posted by rjb111 View Post
My dear if you have ever BEEN to MEMPHIS you would understand. Trust me. Nothing about this report surprises me in the least. Saddens and disgusts, perhaps but suprises???? No.

20yrsinBranson
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