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Old 01-18-2011, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Southern California
25,323 posts, read 24,133,744 times
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Hey, all. I don't usually post in this forum but if there are any "crossovers" from other forums you may remember me.

Anyway...My third child is IMPOSSIBLE to potty train. I can't believe the trouble I'm having with him. I might be a little graphic in this post so I'm warning you now not to read if you're going to be icked out...just a courtesy...

Even my second son, who is autistic and developmentally delayed, had potty trained by my third son, E's, age! E is four and a half. He will pee on the potty if I take him, and he will do it without complaint, usually. He doesn't typically go on his own and still has accidents but I can live with that since he at least tries when I tell him. His self-care is good. He can mostly dress himself (he needs help with zippers). He can wash himself in the tub, has no trouble with eating utensils, balance, coordination, etc. and is in general good health.

For background, he is (or was) speech delayed but has no other delays and is doing well academically and socially in preschool.

Okay, so...pooping. Here comes the gross part!

He must poop four times a day, always in little bits. Yes, I handwash poop FOUR times a day. Well, three or four. He doesn't usually do one big "poop." I don't know if I should take him to the doctor for this -- what do you all think? The thing is I feel it may be because he knows he isn't supposed to go in his pants, so he holds back until just a little escapes each time.

I make him sit on the potty where he screams and cries and says he can't do it. He won't tell me why. About three times so far (in his entire life), he's let out a LITTLE poop into the potty. We all clapped and cheered and I gave him a reward and all this other stuff. Then once off the potty, he went in his pants a number of additional times each.

I have never "made" him sit on the potty for more than about five minutes. I didn't want a whole lot of backlash and refusal and stuff. But you know what? After two and a half years of this I'm tired of it!!! So now, today, for the first time, I am making him sit until something real happens (based on his just having sharted beforehand, so I know something must be coming) and he's just crying and making a thousand excuses and NOT pooping.

I don't yell at him. I don't shame him. I AM firm about how it's time for him to poop on the potty like everyone else.

What is going wrong? I'm in tears over here. He's going to be the only child in kindergarten who still sh*ts his pants. What is wrong here??? I even got him a comfy potty seat so nothing hurts and he has something to grip and blah blah. I always offer him books. Nothing works.

Somebody please help...or is maybe something really biologically wrong here? Thanks...
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Old 01-18-2011, 03:26 PM
 
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So when does he do a big poop? Never it's always just little poops? Are they hard? dark? (yes I AM discussing the consistency of poop over the internet!!) I'm wondering if he is constipated...
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Old 01-18-2011, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Southern California
25,323 posts, read 24,133,744 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by icibiu View Post
So when does he do a big poop? Never it's always just little poops? Are they hard? dark? (yes I AM discussing the consistency of poop over the internet!!) I'm wondering if he is constipated...
Ha ha!!! They're almost never hard. They're usually...smear-y. He does a somewhat biggish poop at some time during these three or four poop periods.

They're kind of dark, I guess.
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Old 01-18-2011, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,434 posts, read 41,608,566 times
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I think it is a control issue. He might be making himself constipated because of this control issue.

Yes by all means take him to doc. Make a list of everything he eats becsause his doc will surely ask diet questions.

You say you don't force him but 5 minutes. Well even 5 minutes is forcing him if he cires and carries on. His poor little sphincter (sp) can't relax enough to poop if he is so upset.

Does he do this at school? I would think embarrasment would be enought reason to change this. he is way too old to be pooping in his pants.
I can relate to your frustration and fatigue over this. We had a similar problem with a constipated baby at about 18 or 19 months.

Get to doc right away and google constipated children to see what might be going on besides control. I would just let him alone and not force him on the toilet. Put him in diapers again and see if he poops regular in a diaper. If he does, then you know he is afraid of the potty or some other psychological problem and not a physical problem.

Good luck.
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Old 01-18-2011, 04:00 PM
 
15,187 posts, read 16,035,343 times
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Hey, JerZ--nice to "see" you again.

I'd take him to the doctor. Sometimes little kids are very constipated but poop manages to sort of ooop around the hard stools. This was the case with a friend's kid. They had to up the fiber, etc. etc. The kid became very embarrassed and would hide his poopy underwear, etc. He's older now and I don't think it's an issue for them anymore.

Good luck with it!
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Old 01-18-2011, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Southern California
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Thanks, guys and gals. I am definitely going to take him to the doctor.
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Old 01-18-2011, 04:57 PM
 
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Good on the dr....


It is possible that after all this time he has a big ole rock of solid hard poop that cannot come out. The "smooshy" poop sounds like what happens when the new poop leaks around the hard poop.

Two things that might help are:

1) Metamucil to soften the hard rock of poop

2) Totally putting him in charge of his poop. Put a potty in his room and tell him he is completely responsible for pooping...HE has to wash out his underwear, take a bath after he poops, change his clothes, etc.
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Old 01-18-2011, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Geneva, IL
12,976 posts, read 11,788,166 times
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Hey JerZ!

My son did something similar. He would pee in the toilet/potty from about 2, but refused to poop. I never figured out the problem. He'd come to me with a pull-up, I'd put it on him, and he'd poop in it. Then we'd clean him up, and he was good to go. I fought him on it, and it caused lots of tension, but then we just decided to take all the attention off it for a while, and after about a year he started using the toilet. I never did figure out the why's, but it was very frustrating. Good luck.
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Old 01-18-2011, 06:23 PM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,319,241 times
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Does he stand in the middle of the room with his little legs crossed and a look of consternation on his face? If the answer is, "yes", he's holding it in on purpose. Holding it in will cause all sorts of problems. None of which will kill him but it might kill you.

Is he active otherwise? It may be as simple as he just doesn't want to take the time out of his busy little day to poop. Who wants to sit on the pot when there are trucks to play with? And besides, Mommie is right there to clean you up. How cool is that?

You'll probably feel better if you take him to the doctor. But (and I have experience in this particular area of child-wants-to-torment-Mom) it's probably something he'll grow out of. Like when there's a big WHOOSH in front of his buddies on the playground. When that happens (and it will) he'll be reserving the john ahead of time.
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Old 01-18-2011, 10:19 PM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,690,207 times
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Some kids don't want to give up being the baby. They think being a baby is special especially if they're the youngest, it is their special position - and if that's the case, let there be some kind of reward that just the big kids get. He'll want in on it but you explain that he's still a diaper baby and not big enough yet to be included. You have to make him want to give up being a little baby and join the big people.
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