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Gentlearts...I know the parents are divorced, sad,sad situation! He's the only child of older parents? They waited to have children and then got a divorce. How sad for him! Unfortunately, the child is probably so used to being placated and cow-towed at home that he thinks he can get away with it at school too! It's so very sad when young children are deceived into thinking they can control everything and everyone around them. When they discover it isn't so...they act out like this guy's doing. Did the teacher mess up when she didn't make the other child give the pencil back? Oh yes she did! Talk about reinforcing bad behavior in the little "thief"! He stole another kid's property and the victim got punished. That's great behavior. However, the fact remains that your friend's child has figured out he can simply go home when things aren't going the way he wants them too. No coping skills are being taught here. The school needs to be keeping him there and doling out discipline. If mom has to come get him, he needs to be made miserable enough at home, so that school seems like the better option! I know that sounds mean, but hey.... Seriously though, I know that schools are having to deal with more and more of these situations, but they need to figure it out....and be allowed to "handle" things more like they'd be handled at home!
I believe that about half of the people who say their kids are "gifted" are lying. It's like they feel like failures if their kids are just *gasp* high average. I don't know about this boy's IQ, but if he's behaving like a toddler at age seven, I'd be concerned.
The OP is right. The school shouldn't be sending him home. That seems to be a reward rather than a punishment.
It's not that they're lying, it's more like wishful thinking, or trying to live through the child instead of living their own life and letting the child have his own life.
I would think "gifted" may have a lot to do with this kid's problem. He obviously hates school, he maybe getting pressured to accomplish what he cannot. Kids who are pushed become angry and depressed. He may realize he's not really special but believes his mother can only love him if she thinks he is.
Divorce in itself doesn't make kids misbehave in school, pleny of children of divorced parents do just fine.
I think that reseqrch has shown it mch more than half thsoe children thoguht by ther parents as gifted. Ther really very few really gifted children even when testing is afvilable to do it.It lie the differnce between intellignce and edcuationed .Much different really.I am sure that more gifted children are not recongnised because they have no opportuntiy than is recongized really.
I think that reseqrch has shown it mch more than half thsoe children thoguht by ther parents as gifted. Ther really very few really gifted children even when testing is afvilable to do it.It lie the differnce between intellignce and edcuationed .Much different really.I am sure that more gifted children are not recongnised because they have no opportuntiy than is recongized really.
Here's the real question...are "gifted" children really gifted?.....or, do too many parents simply let "kids be kids", and wait for the educational institutions to teach them the basics? All of my children, once they entered school, were defined as "gifted". Scuse the language but WTH! My children were taught proper English, were not spoken to in "baby talk", were read to, and watched "educational television". They always had plenty of art supplies on hand and played with fun and educational toys. I truly don't know where they come up with these titles. LOL They are all stronger in some areas than others....but I don't consider them more "gifted" than other children, simply stronger in certain areas than others. That doesn't mean that the children who are lacking, where my children are strong, are not stronger in other areas. Comparisons can be so demeaning and confusing to people.
Oddly enough, when my kids were young, the "gifted" thing was often used by moms of kids who were out of control...."He's just so smart/gifted/advanced that he's pushing boundaries because he's bored/he's more curious than the "average" kid...." (said with the semi eye rolling, yet proud mom of little Einstein...sharing her burden of what she has to put up with in order not to squelch her child's budding genius) etc etc.
I hate when people say that. I have had other moms say to me - "well maybe he is so bored in class and that is the problem" - I don't think that excuses bad behavior. I'm not saying that some kids don't get bored b/c they know stuff but being a pain in the ass is not the acceptable solution. And kids need to learn to handle situations where the pace is slower than theirs - not every athlete plays at the same level and sometimes the coach will make the whole team do drills and even the star players have to do it. Same with school. It is appropriate to give children who are more advanced more advanced work to do but in a group setting, even in a group tailored to levels, there will be a difference in pace.
There is never any excuse for a kid to treat others poorly or throw a fit in class. There may be a reason for the behavior that helps the adults figure out how to deal with the problem, but there is never a good excuse for a child to behave in a disruptive or hurtful manner. I don't care if he is a freaking genius. I have as high an IQ as my child and I never had social problems in school. I don't think the two have to co-exist.
I do think that suspension and punishment without teaching a kid a better way to handle a bad situation (and yes some kids don't know how to just let it go until they get home to complain about lameness and need to be taught some social skills) is only a temporary resolution.
I do not feel this kid is upset about his pencil because he is academically gifted and bored - I think he is stressed about the family/ household changes and the pencil situation set him off.
I have long believed that parents of those chidlren who truly ARE gifted do not have the need to discuss it with other parents at school, kinda like those who have a lot of money do not talk about money.
I agree. It strikes me as "showing off" - like the mom who had to tell me how her child was probably the late-enrollment first grader who pushed the student number high enough to necessitate adding a third teacher because she started off in Kindergarten but her daughter was just "so advanced from my homeschooling her as a preschooler that she would have been bored in Kindergarten so they moved her to first grade after the first week because she knew how to read (and blah blah blah and so on...)".
I only talk about it if someone asks a specific question about it. In fact, I am kind of embarrassed I mentioned it last night here because now in the light of day it feels like bragging, which feels really rude to me. I think talents are there to use and contribute, not for parents to brag about.
I think your analogy about talking about money is a good one.
I agree. It strikes me as "showing off" - like the mom who had to tell me how her child was probably the late-enrollment first grader who pushed the student number high enough to necessitate adding a third teacher because she started off in Kindergarten but her daughter was just "so advanced from my homeschooling her as a preschooler that she would have been bored in Kindergarten so they moved her to first grade after the first week because she knew how to read (and blah blah blah and so on...)".
I only talk about it if someone asks a specific question about it. In fact, I am kind of embarrassed I mentioned it last night here because now in the light of day it feels like bragging, which feels really rude to me. I think talents are there to use and contribute, not for parents to brag about.
I think your analogy about talking about money is a good one.
I love this! Very well said! You know, I always feel like, if your child is strong in certain areas, it's selfish to not share with others. For a child to be made feel "superior", because they're gifted in something....well, that's just sad. I agree though about you feeling like you're bragging, and well... you shouldn't feel that way really. I didn't take your post as bragging. I felt as if you feel the same way as I do. Your child has strengths in certain areas. The thing of it is, some of the kids out there who seem to have "no strengths", probably shine like a 300 watt lightbulb in areas where our kids are weak. I believe that everyone has strengths, therefore, no one is more gifted than anyone else.....it's just a matter of where their strengths lie!
...it's just a matter of where their strengths lie!
I agree and I see it within my family - I have four kids and they are all different and I think no less of any of them for not all sharing the same talent. My daughter is the most athletic of all of them so far. She is a hardworking student and does well but is not academically gifted. One of my other children is very emotionally resilient and friendly and outgoing. And so on...
The thing of it is, some of the kids out there who seem to have "no strengths", probably shine like a 300 watt lightbulb in areas where our kids are weak. I believe that everyone has strengths, therefore, no one is more gifted than anyone else.....it's just a matter of where their strengths lie!
Although I agree that each and every one of God's children are blessed with different talents....I need my doctor and my mechanic and maybe they need one of my skills....
...I strongly disagree with the premise that everyone is gifted in terms of intellectul ability.
We are discussing IQ, basically. A person with an IQ of 133 or above is less than 1% of the population.
It's like saying everyone can pitch like Randy Johnson. 99% or more cannot throw a ball like he can. It is a gift. And it is the same with intellegence. People who are exceptionally intelligent are GIFTED in that way.
Yes, people have a variety of talents, but please do not take away from the intellectually gifted with these types of platitudes.
Although I agree that each and every one of God's children are blessed with different talents....I need my doctor and my mechanic and maybe they need one of my skills....
...I strongly disagree with the premise that everyone is gifted in terms of intellectul ability.
We are discussing IQ, basically. A person with an IQ of 133 or above is less than 1% of the population.
It's like saying everyone can pitch like Randy Johnson. 99% or more cannot throw a ball like he can. It is a gift. And it is the same with intellegence. People who are exceptionally intelligent are GIFTED in that way.
Yes, people have a variety of talents, but please do not take away from the intellectually gifted with these types of platitudes.
Ah yes, but do not forget the latest in studies....none of which I have time to hunt down and quote at the time.......but some of the most "intellectually gifted" minds have been proven to have certain "mental defects" in other ways. Some of the most gifted of minds, can be "socially retarded". Not politically correct, but.....
Please do not misinterpret my statement or get on the defensive. Clearly, I bumped a tender spot there. As I said, for the most part, gifts come in many different packages. It is the opinion of society, which deems one to be more "great" than another.
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All of my children, once they entered school, were defined as "gifted". Scuse the language but WTH! My children were taught proper English, were not spoken to in "baby talk", were read to, and watched "educational television". They always had plenty of art supplies on hand and played with fun and educational toys. I truly don't know where they come up with these titles. LOL 
They are all stronger in some areas than others....but I don't consider them more "gifted" than other children, simply stronger in certain areas than others. That doesn't mean that the children who are lacking, where my children are strong, are not stronger in other areas. Comparisons can be so demeaning and confusing to people.
