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Old 01-27-2011, 09:06 PM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,773,973 times
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sorry, maybe "ream" wasn't the best description. nothing personal.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,676,318 times
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Thank you so much ladies. I appreciate your love and support so very much! There are some truly kind and amazing parents in this forum..people who really and truly want to help others... people who put their hearts on the line each and every day...people with hearts that are just unbelievable. Again....my love and respect go out to you amazingly kind and generous people. The parents you've helped on this forum will never forget that someone...somewhere, virtual strangers, really cared.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:18 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,676,318 times
Reputation: 19413
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
sorry, maybe "ream" wasn't the best description. nothing personal.
Thank you rkb.... You know, none of us are perfect, but I really love you guys. When I've gotten fired up and said things that were kind of snarky, there have been dear friends of mine on here who have brought it to my attention. I have thanked them! If we really want each other to be the best that we can be, little reminders of things like "judging, lest we be judged", etc. are statements of love, not statements of condemnation. Digging a little deeper, getting to know someone a little better sometimes, makes all the difference in the world, when it comes to interpreting their posts. In my profession, I have learned some pretty valuable lessons in regard to "looking behind the words" of people. Sometimes..."excuses" are made because they've been there and tried that...multiple times and it's not working. Hey, we all know that "excuses" can also mean "I don't want to"....but you know what I mean.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:21 PM
 
Location: In a house
13,258 posts, read 34,677,768 times
Reputation: 20198
I believe beachmel is a very warm, caring entity here on city-data. I acknowledge that beachmel has probably spoken with the OP privately and has been told more than the OP is divulging here on the forum. I -also- believe the OP's *combined* stories just don't add up. Even if we were to extend the little that beachmel has shared about it and turn it into a full blown psychoses of her son. It still doesn't explain -most- of the OP's *combined* stories dotted throughout CD. And because there's just way too much "stuff" and way too little ownership in it, I'll continue to be a cynic, and applaud beachmel for continuing to be a warm, caring entity here.
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Old 01-27-2011, 09:30 PM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,382,948 times
Reputation: 8956
I didn't say beachmel is not a wonderful person, just that this is a public forum and you really don't know who you are dealing with. I was trying to make a point.

I do feel that the sentiment probably was good, but I think it was not right to post anything about another poster without their permission. I assume those of you who "know" each other on this forum appreciated the apparent insight . . .it is just my opinion that the subject of the thread should have been dealt with directly - and any speculation should have been conveyed privately.

I think I said that is just my two cents.
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Old 02-11-2011, 12:40 PM
 
Location: The middle of nowhere Arkansas
3,326 posts, read 2,617,265 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
I have 2 kids, dd13, and ds14, both refuse to wear coats, although the weather has been quite cold lately, around 20's night, high 30's day. Also, my ds insists on wearing shorts in this weather.

Both kids have coats, they simply won't wear them. They insist on wearing those hoodies all the time. Ok, so wear what they want, if they get cold enough they will wear something more appropriate for the weather?

Problem is, I have an ongoing relationship with CPS. DS loves to call them every little thing, and they have been out here so much its ridiculous. Last time he called, he complained he didn't have clothes. what he meant was I refused to spend $$$ on designer stuff. he has plenty of plain, ordinary, regular clothes. But tell that to CPS, expecially when all they ever see the kid wear is the same old, wash-worn tee shirt and shorts, in the dead of winter.

Well, I can't run after him and stuff him into appropriate clothes, like some 2-year old. I keep copies of all receipts to show he has more than adequate clothing provided. what he choses to do with them is up to him. I've also told CPS I will not discuss anything with them again without a court order. I'm sick of them calling, showing up at my door, all in response to ds's calls (oh, they're called "outcries"). Every social worker who comes out here acts like she's here to save him from the evil mother. Meanwhile he continues to wander around dressed pathetically.

Ok, this is what I will do----he doesn't need shorts for at least a few months---get rid of them. the only choices he will have are long pants. But what about refusing to wear a coat? Ditch the hoodies, only thing he has is a coat. then he will probably wander around with no coat, just to attract attention.

I mean, its so bad, once police brought him home, he was out walking around in 30 degree weather with no coat, shorts, and flip flops. he told police I told him to go out that way---BS! I asked him to run to the store for me, I certainly didn't tell him to go half naked! But police called CPS, although I showed the CPS gal all the warm clothes he has hanging in his closet, she still wrote up a charge against us, still pending. Then later I realized many of the warm clothing is missing, I think ds throws it away when I'm not aware. How on earth to convince CPS he's the one "abusing" himself, not me. I buy clothes that fit, are appropriate for the weather, do a reasonable job of monitoring him, but I can't be expected to chase after a 14-year old kid (who, BTW, is 6 ft tall) and dress him like a baby!

DD won't wear anything other than a hoodie, either, but at least she wears long pants, gloves, boots, etc. I guess all I can do is what I'm doing. Also, perhaps I could leave a change of clothes at the school, long pants, long sleeved shirt, jacket, so if a teacher thinks he's not dressed "appropriately" they can just send him to the office to change, not call me in the middle of the day. Let them argue with him he wants to wear shorts in 30 degree weather, and tell them that's all he has, when he has a change right there in the office.

Next time he does that tell the cops to keep him you don't know who he is.
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Old 02-11-2011, 01:23 PM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,773,973 times
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since this thread is back... Last week when it was bitterly cold here I saw multiple kids, no older than 6th grade, in hoodies, and even one in shorts.
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Old 02-11-2011, 01:24 PM
 
Location: here
24,477 posts, read 28,773,973 times
Reputation: 31056
Quote:
Originally Posted by katehblog View Post
try shopping at Baby Clothing | Children's, Toddler, and Kids Clothing | Baby Clothes for kids clothes and jackets... they are really comfortable and have a good response from tough kids!
carters only goes up to sz 7. We're talking about a teenager here.
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Old 02-11-2011, 01:35 PM
 
Location: The middle of nowhere Arkansas
3,326 posts, read 2,617,265 times
Reputation: 1009
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
since this thread is back... Last week when it was bitterly cold here I saw multiple kids, no older than 6th grade, in hoodies, and even one in shorts.
I'm a teacher. I see it all the time. Sometimes it really is the parents fault, I'm guessing most of the time it isn't.
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Old 02-11-2011, 03:13 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,492,371 times
Reputation: 25990
Take the hoodies away. They will have no choice but to wear a coat. My DD does not like to wear a coat, but I make her take it with her every day. She appreciates me, once she told me it started to snow, and no one else but her had a coat. I don't know, she just does what I ask her to do...perhaps this starts when they are little, if your kids don't listen to you now...it is too late to undo the last 14 years...sorry...
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