At my wit's end with my 3 year old (toddlers, parent, boys)

[lisdol]

Originally Posted by zimbochick

haha! The moms club i used to belong to did a moms weekend away a couple of times a year. We went somewhere fun, kid talk was banned, ate out a lot, etc. The first time i went my youngest was just over 1. Beforehand i diligently cleaned the house, did all the laundry, made a whole bunch of meals and froze them, organized things for the kids to do. Guess what happened when i got back, my husband said "i don't know what you are always complaining about, it was a breeze, we had fun".

Guess what i did the next time, i left no groceries, no clean clothes, no meals. When i got home he was completely shattered and said "i don't know how you do it.".

Tough love (and payback is a bit of a ******).

lmao

[treeg26]

My kids quit napping at 3 years old too. Bedtime was hard for a while because I think they were overtired. Playing soft music and having a night light helped. So did a good bedtime routine with bath, a sippy cup of water, a good book with some snuggles (in their bed), then the cd & goodnight kisses.

I agree that more fresh air & daytime activities will help. It's hard in the winter - and harder when you're pregnant!! Look into the park district (or where you work out) and see what classes they offer or if there is an open gym time that he can run around. Anything that gets him moving! At the mall by us there is a big area that the kids can play & run around. A good place to meet other moms, too! Best part is it's FREE!

Stick with the "Supernanny" bedtime routine if that worked before. I know it stinks while you are in it, but you'll be happy when your hard work pays off.

[Wyomama2]

Evidently you haven't found the buggers bottom, it's that soft part below his back..... Yes I would spank for that, tantrums are not accepted period. Other than that being consistent is the best thing you can do for yourself and that goes for everything having to do with the kids. If you let something go once they will push that button again and again. Choose a method and stick with it until it works, but don't let him get away with it once or your battle will be 10 times worse.

[MamaAmy]

I just want to sympathize. Like yours, our 3 year old has been a poor sleeper since birth. These days, he cries upon waking almost every morning and fights us at bedtime - often wakes me up 1-3 times a night depending on his dreams and health. He clearly functions well during the day on 8-9 hours of sleep, but his schedule is very hard for us - and like you, I'm pregnant. The 'terrible threes' have been worse than his terrible twos.

One thing I've found helpful in the mornings is to get some food/drink into his mouth as quickly as possible. I read somewhere once that many kids who are 'snackers' end up waking up more often during the night, and then can wake up early in the morning shrieking in tears from low-blood sugar. Once that starts, it's hard to stop - other than to get some food into their tummies. Almond milk is a delicious/quick drink I give him first thing - it calms him so he can communicate with words again, and we're able to focus on getting his food needs met instead of his hunger behaving like a general tantrum.

At bedtime - like you - we have bath, story, rocking every night. And like you, it can take between 1-2 hours sometimes to get him settled enough to stay in bed. What's worked for us is to cut out his day-time nap, and start bedtime earlier in the evening after he's had some snacks/tea. 8pm usually. I also find I sometimes have to leave the room - almost giving him a timeout during the bedtime ritual. I think he can become overly stimulated with me (not with my husband) and won't settle down until he understands I'm serious about heading towards bed. Having a few moments alone in his room tends to make him more receptive to going through bedtime rituals, and we can buzz through them in 20-30 minutes some nights. It's never done as punishment - only as a 'pause' for him to collect himself.

And like you, I'll admit we're not 100% consistent about all the things we do. While consistency is so important, I have to forgive myself for being human and just do my best knowing my personality is not always consistent, but that I"m a great Mom anyway.

So hang in there mama and know you're not alone.

[glass_of_merlot]

My son was 3,5 before he actually would go to bed by him selves and lay there until he fell asleep!

[aidxen]

Originally Posted by Crazymomof3

He refuses to nap. He wakes up at 6:30 every day. It takes an hour (at least) to get him to sleep each night...he's up and down, has to potty, get a drink, kiss us goodnight. By 10:00 I'm so frustrated, and so is my husband we can't stand it.
He doesn't have sugar at night.
No TV.
We take a bath, brush teeth, read a story. The routine is the same every night...he's now going into my daughter's room at night and disturbing her so she can't sleep. He throws fits, screams, kicks the wall. I can't stand it anymore. I don't know what to do...I'm 9 mos. pregnant and this struggle is taking over our entire house. He literally keeps everyone up at night...on top of that, he comes in our bed every night so I go to the sofa...if I put him in his bed he throws a tantrum, screaming, waking up the entire house.

Needless to say I haven't slept longer than 3 hours at a time in over a year. I'm over it. I'm sad to say that I'm kind of hating being a mom right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions, or real advice, like you've been there before...it's always easy for people to dish out advice...and I appreciate it but I don't really want to hear from someone w/o children telling me what to do. Unless you've been a parent, you don't really know the struggles that are faced.

No sugar at night. I'd say, no sugar anytime.
Then no nap during the day (if he has one)
Then get dad to take him for a walk (on his own legs, no pram) even play some games. Hide and seek etc to burn up energy.

Also I love routine. I would make sure that you and dad agree on the kids routine especially in the evening and in the morning. Dinner at time X then clean teeth, then this and then that.

Also reading. Get the kid into bed and lie with them and read to them running your finger along showing them the words and talking to them about the story. In our case we then pray together at the start of the bed time routine but that of course is upto your beliefs.

Personally I do not put up with tantrums. A tantrum gets a couple of good hard smacks then a few minutes to compose themselves with the door shut and a small night light on. If it continues then a couple more smacks and the cycle repeats. It does not take them long to learn that screaming does not pay dividends.

Finally make a big wheel like you have to exercise a mouse and put him in and make him run and run and run until he falls asleap. Use it to generate electricity.

[malamute]

Originally Posted by Crazymomof3

I certainly will! Thank you!

My husband compared him to our labrador retriever...needs constant stimulation, exercise...
The ADHD issue popped in my head today, and most certainly will I keep my eyes on this guy....

He is a handful for certain, but can be the sweetest, most loving boy.

Knowledge is power!

Not like ADHD - just normal 3 year old boy energy - I think the husband was right, kids need to be outdoors a lot, especially energetic kids and they need to have a release for their energy.

[therewego]

Originally Posted by Crazymomof3

I would say he may get about 8 hours or so a night. We start the bedtime around 8-8:30, and it can go until 10. He usually wakes around 6:30-7. Maybe he gets enough sleep...he may be like me and not need a whole lot.

It's the getting to sleep, the fighting it...wearing us down.

There you go...my oldest is like my hubby and does not need a lot of sleep. She is usually very good during school nights; tired from school then plays outside so tires herself out. BUT, given the opportunity to stay up late like on weekends, she will do whatever she can to stay awake, watch movies, play w/whatever, play games, etc. (she's 9 so does not throw tantrums anymore.) and then she is fine to wake up at 7 a.m.!

Perhaps he needs to get more tired during the day like in a karate class, something physical-chasing balls at the park or backyard. I have not read all the posts so if this was already mentioned, sorry. Maybe even try that lavender baby shampoo that is supposed to "relax" them...

Oh, forgot to mention...at that age, I also started an "earning" chart with stars. I drew pictures of the different issues we were having, like brushing teeth, eating well, throwing tantrums...if you didn't do these things, you would earn stars and for every 4 stars, she got a treat like an extra book to read, etc. It curbed the tantrums then as she got older we did chores for stars in order to earn an allowance.

Good luck!

[Dawn Berman]

You're not a crazy Mom. You are a Mom. I am a mother of 4 children and I have struggled for over a year w/ my 3rd. I didn't know I was capable of being so short tempered and insensitive. Having practiced Yoga and meditation for many years none of it mattered in the middle of the night, sleep deprived and at my wits end. I'm not suggesting that it's easy, nothing worth while usually is, but gratitude, patience, consistency, music (classical, pop, kids, show tunes) and huge helping of love pay off. It's going to be a long 18 months but I know you can do it. In a year and a half you will either have a wilting flower or a flourishing plant. Give your gift the best that you got you'll never regret loving him to much, kissing him to much, or being to patient but you will deeply regret hurting them, hurting thier feeling and not being there for them when they are so little and vulnerable.
Find support for yourself ... family, friends, your husband, a Moms Club, the library. Read more about the age and different tactics. Breathe , be patient even when you have to fake it.
I wish you and your baby the best.


and on the h

Originally Posted by Crazymomof3

He refuses to nap. He wakes up at 6:30 every day. It takes an hour (at least) to get him to sleep each night...he's up and down, has to potty, get a drink, kiss us goodnight. By 10:00 I'm so frustrated, and so is my husband we can't stand it.
He doesn't have sugar at night.
No TV.
We take a bath, brush teeth, read a story. The routine is the same every night...he's now going into my daughter's room at night and disturbing her so she can't sleep. He throws fits, screams, kicks the wall. I can't stand it anymore. I don't know what to do...I'm 9 mos. pregnant and this struggle is taking over our entire house. He literally keeps everyone up at night...on top of that, he comes in our bed every night so I go to the sofa...if I put him in his bed he throws a tantrum, screaming, waking up the entire house.

Needless to say I haven't slept longer than 3 hours at a time in over a year. I'm over it. I'm sad to say that I'm kind of hating being a mom right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions, or real advice, like you've been there before...it's always easy for people to dish out advice...and I appreciate it but I don't really want to hear from someone w/o children telling me what to do. Unless you've been a parent, you don't really know the struggles that are faced.

[carlitasway]

I remember 3 and it was hard. Do you guys own a trampoline? It is a saving grace for energetic children and if you feel the big ones are too unsafe think about a small one.